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My boyfriend has suffered from a traumatic brain injury.

Aloha Everyone!

My boyfriend and I are both 23 years old, we been together for 5 years. My boyfriend got into a street bike accident on August 27 2018. He had suffered from a traumatic brain injury. He cracked the life side of his skull. The Drs has shown us scans of most of his left and some of his right, saying the those parts are cell brain damaged. He does open his eyes, looks around and is very curious of things. He does not walk, but can feel from his legs, he does move his toes and legs somewhat. He Left arm is able to grab and pick up things. He does have a trike, so he is unable to talk. He is not following commands either at this time. From August 27 to the October 1 He was fighting other issues in the brain. He had cerebral spinal fluid build up in his head, they had to do surgery to let it out. He needed a shunt because it wasn’t properly draining, the shunt got infection, so they took it out, and put a external one. He had to take antibiotics because the infection was in the cerebral fluid. On nov 27 they finally put back the skull to see if it would help with the drainage, so it does not build up in his head. After his surgery they did ct the next day, now he was draining to much spinal fluid. So they took the external drain out. Did a ct scan a few days after, and everything is going wonderful. I was at the hospital every day for 2 months and 2 weeks with him. I changed him, massaged him, exercised him, played music for him, did aromatherapy for him, make sure he always has cream on his but to stay away from bed sores. He is the love of my life, so I’m doing everything I can. But on oct 2 me and his mother got into a argument. She has kicked me out and banned me from seeking him. From what I last herd from his cousin, he is still not following commands. I’m worried about his care physicals and mentaly. I’m worried if he will even remember me. But I thank god, everyday for letting him be here to fight! Anyone have advice, similar relations, or even suffered from a tbi?

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I apologize sep 27 they put back his skull

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At this point (not yet 2 months post brain injury) it's still really early days ; progress can be so slow as to be imperceptible to onlookers, but that doesn't mean it's not happening 'within'.

I hope you can reconcile your differences with your BF's mother and help in coaxing him back to you and his family.

I had a haemorrhage 6 years ago and remember nothing of the first month and very little of the second. Give it much more time before expecting more promising signs of recovery m'dear. Sincere best wishes for better days ahead for all of you. Cat x

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Thankyou cat3 for responding back to me :)

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Omg Im so sorry. The mother is a class A asshole. I have been with my man for 9 years and been by his side everyday since his TBI which was in April. I am SO SO SO sorry this has happened. Don't give up. You are a part of his life and he knows this. I can relate so much because I do everything as well. See if you can fake nice with her just to see him. I wish him a good and healthy recovery and so much luck to you. please keep us updated. Good Luck

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Thankyou so much for replying back to me. I tried being nice to her! I texted her stating can we talk? Can we move forward from this? And she doesn’t budge. Did you boyfriend remember you when he woke up. Did he ask for, when he became more conscious? What am I to expect with the early stages of a tbi?

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My fiancé has a trach too so sadly he cant talk yet but Ive gotten them to finally pay attention enough to give him a speaking valve so hes only tried it like 2 times because he has a lot of saliva. He has to manage it first then I think it would be easier to help him. So everyone is different and my man stayed in a coma for about 3 weeks. Everything started real slow. I played classical music, jazz, his favorite music, meditation music, brainwave music. I recorded myself speaking to him and all that. I do believe it all helped. Basically it started with him moving his toes and foot then later his head, etc. It is a long process but never give up on him which I know you wont. After that he started moving his hand ( only his right side so far) and I then started asking questions to see if he understood and he does. Now he can write his abc, and answer math questions I have known for a while he was in there and understood I just need to prove it to other ppl. I just posted about this. Its ok if he cant do things now ( your bf) just take time and have patience its alot trust me I know. But always motivate him. As long as he is tracking thats good. His mind is really trying

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I’ve been away from him for two weeks. When I was there with him he was tracking, somewhat. But no following commands. I’m so worried about him now, that I can give him the love, care, and stimulation he needs. His mother doesn’t do any of that. I just really want him to start talking and be aware. So I can come back!!! I love him so much! I just want to be there to take care of him.

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Yea its gonna take a lot of time. The trach itself can take weeks to months so far for Tony its been 7 months. Be patient as hard as it is. Just find a way to get to your BF you have to you are all he has in terms of helping and knowing you know.

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HI Jkbrst4ever. I'm sorry to hear is. It's very early days. Be strong for him. Good luck. Xx

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I had a TBI in France back in 2014. Bashed the right hand side of my head which did of course cause bleeding and swelling on the left. They cut half my skull off and put me in a come for a couple of weeks. I was only in hospitals for 2mths, but it took me 2-3yrs to recover my mentally, and I will of course never be exactly the same. I am still married to my wife, and my two daughters still possess a PTSD thanks to me! Good luck x

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Oh wow did you get a trach? How are you now. I have been with my fiance dealing with his TBI since April. I have been by his side for 9 years and I always will. Are you okay now? Sorry for so many questions I JUSTNEED some answers thanks and more power to you and your family

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Yes my boyfriend has a trach now. I don’t know to much information right now about him because his mother blocked me from all care and information. I’m hanging in there waiting for him to wake up more, so he can look for me.

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Hi half my skull is titanium now, which is fine apart from the Airport😄 I’m fine restarted my Insurance Broker Business last Oct, had to reconstruct parts of my brain for 3yrs prior to that. I wrote a book as part of that and I’d recommend you read it as it covers my wife as much as me. She kept a diary which covered my medical complications as much as her own challenges. You can only read it on a Kindle or the Kindle App, and it will only cost you 99p, for Headway’s benefit. It is ‘D.T.B.I........who am I’ my author name is GD Porter. I think that might help you👍🏻

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Thankyou so much for all your advice! Many love strength and blessings to you!!!

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Equally, best wishes to you too👍🏻

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Hiya sorry to hear this love I’ve had a tbi from a Rd traffic accident tooo! But from a car, relationship things are messed right up with tbi , I’ve got x2 wee kids to my ex but your

BF was sooooo! Lucky to have someone care for him. BIG TIME! Don’t give UP, maybes hopefully he can learn to write. And communicate with you, are u in the uk? I’m in Scotland where there’s nowt but in England there hundreds of PLACES that cld help him.

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Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend and all your going through, I will keep you both in prayers. My darling sometimes we get a second chance in life and believe me all our loved ones around will realize even his parents life is to precious to waste on arguments or whatever, its only hurting him. and soon they will realize that as he comes through this.

I was also in the same exact similar situation , as I began this thread just yesterday it has really helped me to understand I'm not the only one going through this. and believe me I have a different perspective on life and people.

On 08/07/2018 I suffered a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage ( Ruptured Brain Aneurysm) It just came about all of a sudden , I was ready to go to work that morning and before I knew in a matter of seconds its was like grenade bombs going off in my head, When I tell you its the worst headache in your life you can experience, it really is, , well I had exactly 18 mins time frame before they got me to the Hospital that is actually the time frame they explain in Medical terms when an Aneurysm explodes, I remember screaming like no other and my husband happen to be home by a miracle due to he is never home at that time in the morning , he leaves before me, That day he was late and there was a purpose and reason for that. or I wouldn't be here telling my story. I was taken to hospital within 6 mins. due to I live 2 miles from there. and they immediately had to take in a team and start to drain the Cerebral fluid because it was mixed in with the blood just like your boyfriend. because the pressure in my head or brains was too much. They started that and within several hours they ambulated me to a trauma hospital while I was a little stable and performed a 6hour surgery.

During surgery they found 2 other Aneurysm and they didn't know how to handle it due to were they were at. they told my family I only had 25% of survival and they were sorry. The next day My Nuero surgeon had a plan and talked with my family and asked there permission to go back into my brain and do surgery again . There plan was to place a pipeline metal between the other 2 aneurysm and stop them from growing and go back 3 months later and do an Angiogram to see how it looked. Well they did that and they placed an external Drain out also like your boyfriends and it was so much they try to shut it down every so often due to the extreme headaches I was having then infection arose. they tried the experiment 4 times before they were deciding to place a shunt also . well by the 4 time like I said they gave it one more chance and by the grace of God it worked my dear.

Well now the drain was working great and no Shunt. Amen...…. After 4 weeks of ICU omg they pulled out the external Drain and did stiches on me to close it up. I started feeling so much better they took out all the tubes and everything , My friends and family couldn't believe it. to this day. Well I have very short memory loss but its coming back slowly. at my 5th week I was on a wheel chair then I upgraded to a walker and now a cane. I did Rehab therapy in a Rehab Clinic for 3 weeks and started walking again and my balance came back slowly after 4 weeks too. They discharged me 3 week ago and under Rehab Care Facility for Physical Rehab and Occupational and Speech therapy. And that's were I'm at now as outpatient, I'm not released to drive yet until the Doctors clear me. But if you see were I was and were I am now its a living Miracle.

So what I am trying to say is never loose Hope or Quit. Its a process , but its a journey so we can take a look at were life is and how so we can evaluate our life's better and not take it for granted and we all become a better person even his family, they will realize how they almost lost him but how you were there for him too. They are just resenting the fact that he's suffering so let them have their space and if you could see him when their not around and let your boyfriend know that no matter what you will never forsake him.

In my life I had a sister who didn't speak to me for 3 years and my husband family didn't talk to him I tell you they all came to their knees and finally we are a unified family. We cannot wait for Christmas this year.

I pray and hope your boyfriend comes through this and his family finally realizes.

I wish there is a way I can send you photos . Give it time my dear its a process.... And as Memory I remembered all my family and friends just short term like if they came to see me sometimes the next week I couldn't remember that. OMG I wish I can give you a hug..... I suffer from depression and loneliness now, but then again its only been close to 3 months for me.

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Wow you are a walking testimony of god!!! Thankyou for your kind words! And sharing your experience. God bless

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Hi, was just thinking of you and how your partner is doing these days , Hope all is going well. Keep praying.

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We are currently looking for a place for him to start physical therapy in the states. We are from Hawaii

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Hello I don't have similar experience, I am a TBI survivor. But I know how hard it was to support me when I was so sick. I just wanted to say the love you are showing for your boyfriend is a credit to you. I would spend a little time reflecting and giving yourself some rest and relaxation. You need your strength and mental health. Then I would maybe write to his mum. Give a balanced description understanding her side too. You are both very protective of him and love him dearly. Try to find opportunity to combine those strengths to support him. It will involve compromise from both though, Good luck.

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Thankyou so much for reply!!! Xoxo

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I hope you are starting to feel a little better.

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