Peace of Mind

I went to a Buddhist meditation class tonight. Enjoyed the experience overall and think I will go again. Found it hard though. Dark thoughts came into my mind whenever I created the 'space' for them to occupy. Hopefully I can learn to find some peace of mind.

[cat3]

Face those dark thought head-on Obi. Repressing them will keep them 'in storage' ; only by bringing them to the fore can you pick them apart and be rid of them...…..🤔.

Hope you achieve the peace you're searching for. xx

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Cheers Cat. Making progress on those stored thoughts. A tech company has found years worth of texts partly about the financial issue between me and mum on my old phone. Only charging me £25.00. She is now texting things like- she wont contact me again as she get the hint she I not wanted in my life, and then she- just wants to know why I wont see her and respond to her. She knows of course but its lies and denial to the end. On one of the last times I visited her house her husband hid behind the lounge door and when I entered jumped out and screamed- Im not paying anything etc..- waving his arms around and sticking his chin out trying to be threatening and aggressive. Mum was stood there watching at the time. Wish I had a tape recorder or camera that day. Upps I am now focusing on those dark thoughts etc... Have a good day.

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

How's the situation with your trust fund ? I can't imagine how you'll have any peace until that's sorted...…….. x

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Making progress in terms of resurrecting related texts messages. Have emailed several Headway associated solicitors- some say they done do that and some say go back to original solicitors who set up the trust (but they represented my through mum and dad as I was a minor to that might be complicated). Have others to go through locally and then may have to start contacting some a little further afield. Local Headway rep is ex police and wanted to accompany me to report this to police but he has been in hospital and the group haven't replied to emails about this since he went in and at meetings they say we have to wait for him. I have finally got my bank to release statements going back years so now I need to stump up the courage to see how much of the trust funs was actually paid into the bank but finding this very difficult. Going to submit access requests to other involved organisations too. So I am making progress but slow progress.

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

The further you go in taking back what's rightfully yours the stronger you'll feel.

It's easier for an outsider to say what they think you should do ; I know you have to live with the consequences within the family. But when we stand up for what's right and appear to be in control (even if we're bluffing) bullies will usually back off and pick on someone else.

Don't give up Obi ; I wish you courage ! Love Cat x

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Cheers Cat. I am cutting myself off from family now. The only way forward. Relatives are contacting me now saying the are worried about my mum because I am not seeing her.... That gives me courage because its such a one sided view (I am not trying to enlighten them- cant be bothered). And worried about my Nan too- which is a big issue for me. Thank you so much.

[bexx87 in reply to Hidden]

Again I would to express your not alone my mum's friends have looked back and can see that she was telling (and still continues) to tell a one sided story

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

So good to see you're being true to yourself. Your side of the story will be revealed one day when someone decides to look past what your mum is telling them.

Stay in touch Obi ; we're always here ! x

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Hi Cat, its been a while but I just wanted to chat about my situation. I hope that is ok. Headway lawyers wont help as this is not strictly a catastrophic injury case. But the local headway guy, ex police, has agreed to come to a lawyer with me. Just need to find the right one, possibly the lawyer who originally set up the trust fund with me. Think mum has closed the trust. I agreed to do this if I could have all the bank statements first and resolve the issues but of course the statements never arrived. Mum says 'she likes to teach me hard lessons' and that 'those kids come first' (her grandchildren. But at least in that situation I should have my own trust fund in its entirety and all the associated interest...? I just cant see even that if mum puts other relatives/ able minded ones first, which is mums right and I cant dispute that, why would she also want to and have the right to set me back? If I am the one with the brain injury why would others have the right to the compensation money/trust fund over me?- when I tired to get the amount from the fund years ago mum shouted down the phone 'they need it more than you'. I woke up shouting from my sleep again tonight as I dream about mum and my trust fund a lot and suppose I just wanted to chat on this platform and your words previously were very helpful. I hope you are ok. Thanks for reading this. Bye.

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

Please Obiwan, go back to the original trust fund solicitors. I understand your reluctance as their original liaison was with your parents, but the whole point of a trust fund is to provide for and protect a vulnerable person, and your parents/mother have abused that arrangement SO gravely. You don't mention your father ?

To most people, what your mum has done is cold-hearted and unforgivable, and no right-minded solicitor will defend such truly immoral behaviour from a parent. And surely those who set up the trust will want to see it implemented as intended.

I'm guessing that there shouldn't be a conflict of interest with them as your parents are merely 'caretakers' with power of attorney for your finances, whereas you are the actual client ?

And there's surely something written into the contract allowing you, at some stage, to take back control of your own affairs.

It depends on the exact wording of the fund agreement what sort of action can be taken, and that's why you need clarification from a solicitor or financial advisor on the technicalities and how to proceed.

This is clearly a nightmare for you Obi and I don't underestimate the drain on your mental health, but it's something only you can fix. Phone the solicitor right away before your mind invents all kinds of obstacles ; the rest will follow. Stay focused on the goal of eventual freedom from this dark episode in your life.

Please let us know how you get on m'love. Phone that solicitor and, at least, set the wheels in motion.

See you soon I hope...........Love Cat x

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Thank you so much, have a great weekend.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Cat3. Day off today and its very well placed as struggling. Feel this is swallowing me whole. Anyway I am applying for counselling and will moan to them Hope to go to Buddhist meditation tonight. Not been for ages due to the job. With my TBI I can do things most of the time but getting started is exhausting. Can think of lots to do constantly and put together lots of lists etc.. but cant choose and stick to anything. Ground hog day. Anyway I am out for a coffee and looking on this site and just wanted a chat really. This thing with mum is eating me up but have to plough on even if I loose my girl. Cant move forward otherwise. Take care and thanks for listening. Emailing lawyers now, fingers crossed.

[bexx87 in reply to Hidden]

That's horrible I refuse to talk my mum and she refuses to talk to me but ever now and then when I see my uncle (here brother which is rare) he tells me that my mum has asked after me and his response is she's your daughter you ask I'm not telling her so I understand family abandonment and my mum has mental health issues which is hertiate from her me which I have and since 13 has given me so much verbal and emotional abuse which is why I moved out and if I see her even now she gives me abuse normally when she is drunk as she is a independent alcoholic and she has vascular dementia and a triple heart by pass but refuses to stop drinking and smoking (she is currently in Spain getting drunk for a month as all of her friends are pub landlords) and my uncle has Parkinson (also from my nan) so he forgets he has a niece which I don't hold him to as he had been more supportive towards me than my mum over the years about college and work but remembers things I can't like me telling him and my nan when my granddad had died when I was 5 that mummy wouldn't wake up as she tried to commit sudcide she tried commiting suicide again when I 17 before my nan died while was horrific to deal with and this time last year I was having sucidal thoughts due to medication side effects that under the guidance of my gp took myself off

I also recommend getting geting a dream catcher (I have several I think they are amazing and work really well for soaking up negative energy) Ive always had one hanging over my bed since I was 13 and I suggest (am a lover of) insents for dispelling negative emotions and I listen to a artist on YouTube called relax daily which I meditate to and I have a special place (dawlish) that in times of stress (be it at work or home) I close my eyes and mentally transport myself there