Back to the scene of the crime: Six years ago I... - Headway

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Back to the scene of the crime

Teynboy
Teynboy

Six years ago I suffered a freak TBI whilst on holiday which I was lucky to survive and just as lucky to recover from so well with the few side affects I have.

Just wanted to share this. Whilst visiting Fuerteventura in July, I went back to the restaurant where I had my accident. I knew I would never remember exactly what happened but there was something in my mind that would make things a little clearer.

It was emotional to say the least. My wife found it especially emotional as she was the one who remembered everything from finding me “spinning” in a toilet cubicle to me waking up the next morning (my next memory).

I still have no idea how I sustained such a serious head injury when just going to the toilet but it has been quite calming to have gone back to the scene. I can now picture where I was in my mind and eliminate lots of possibilities of what far fetched things might have happened.

Sometimes the little things help.

11 Replies
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Wow, you are one brave person going back. Did it give you the missing piece to the jigsaw? My husband wants to go to where I had my accident (8 weeks ago) but I don’t want to and he isn’t pressuring me. Well done 👍

Teynboy
Teynboy in reply to cath2727

Hey Cath

Ah thank you.

It was a huge help to be honest. For many years I’ve tried to picture what happened. I know I was in a quiet tapas bar and went to the toilet and that is it.

Going back has helped me to understand the layout and a couple of things that may have happened. I knew I wouldn’t remember anything about it but just being there helped.

There were all sorts of totally impossible conspiracy theories going through my mind like something fell off the ceiling and knocked me out to a random stranger leaning through a window and hitting me. Even though I knew they weren’t true, I’m 100% that those things didn’t happen.

It took many years before I wanted to go back so I’m glad I did.

If your husband wants to visit the scene, I can understand why. My wife didn’t until our last trip and suddenly she suggested it.

Eight weeks is probably too soon though. Keep recovering and take your time ☺️, take as much time as you need too.

cath2727
cath2727 in reply to Teynboy

Thank you. I am not ready to see where I plunged down the ravine and where the air ambulance picked me up yet 😢😢

sethbovey
sethbovey in reply to cath2727

I have no option. I tripped over a raised paving slab in my street. Still feel weird when I walk over it (now fixed)

yes I still pass the scene of my accident, as it's on my commute to work, and still is! I have no idea really what happened. other than hitting my head clearly! I don't think much about it to be honest now, the place at least.

Teynboy
Teynboy in reply to cath2727

Wow, that sounds pretty serious. Also somewhere quite dramatic like a ravine is a unique place that you probably don’t pass daily.

The thing I found hardest about my location was that it was in another country. If it was local then I probably would’ve gone back before.

Teynboy
Teynboy in reply to Teynboy

I wouldn’t have gone back so soon though.

You have to do what is best for you and if you never return, that is fine too.

Roger and Seth, I suppose if it’s somewhere close by, it is hard to avoid. Good news that you have no opinion or affect now.

I've no memory of a brain haemorrhage (apart from the moment I was about to pass out) and my first vague awareness came a couple of weeks later when a tall man in a suit began visiting regularly to test my awareness. My family had endless stories to tell me of my 'antics' and about the brilliant nursing staff and I must say I found it frustrating knowing it had all been 'about' me but I couldn't identify with any of it.

6 months later I was visiting my ex-husband in ICU (he'd suffered the exact same thing), and I was warmly greeted by so many lovely nursing staff who I simply didn't recognise, even the 1 to 1 nurse who'd apparently stayed with me constantly during the critical phase.

But it was a surreal feeling being treated with such familiarity by 'strangers' and they added how it was so rewarding seeing an ex-patient who'd survived, now clothed, mobile and articulate, as they rarely see the full results of their care (I scrub up well apparently). I returned a few days later with an enormous box of Thornton chocolates and flowers and was grateful for the chance to consciously meet them and thank them for their brilliant care, and to apologise for my many antics (recalled by my family but which are still a mystery to me).

I learned a lot about the un-inhibited me...…….'a handful : hilarious...……………..& swear like a trooper when in pain'😵.

So glad you got to revisit the 'crime-scene' Teynboy and found it a settling experience. xx

Teynboy
Teynboy in reply to cat3

Wow that’s really fascinating. How amazing but how strange to see all those people.

That sounds awful . What brain injury did you suffer ? My daughter had a car accident in December. She suffered a severe brain trauma . Was in a coma for a few weeks has had major surgery lost her eye and nose . Has no short term memory at all . But thank God she is alive . We are told it is very early days in her recovery . How are you now ?

Teynboy
Teynboy in reply to Exhaust

Bless her and hope she can continue to recover.

I had a subdural haematona and my brain shifted and hit the other side of the skull. All that from falling in a toilet.

My short term memory is affected and bits of information go missing. It can sometimes be only second of time. Tiredness and fatigue can be quite major but generally, I can cope daily.

You are right, it has to be celebrated that our daughter survived and she has to take as much time as she needs to recover. Sadly, she also has to accept that life will be different from now. It sounds obvious but it was one thing that held me back was trying to fight it.

Sending lots of love to you all.

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