Help needed to support my daughter after her recent brain injury

[Exhaust]

We live near South Croydon and would love to chat or meet up with anyone else in the area who is, like us, struggling to do the best for a loved one with a brain injury. To talk to someone else in a similar situation would be hugely beneficial. Hope someone out there can help.

[Clgn83]

Hiya, sorry to hear about your daughter, how and when did she get her injury? X

[Exhaust in reply to Clgn83]

A car accident . 8 months ago .

[Dennydjhaz in reply to Exhaust]

Hi There, sorry to hear that you’re having to deal with this. It’s very hard on the family of those who have to deal when a member of the family suffers a TBI. Like you’re daughter 15 years ago l was hit by a car whilst crossing the road and l know l was a nightmare for my family. She will pull through but you need to know she will never be who she was, that doesn’t mean she will be less of a person. She will be stronger as will you, dealing with TBI is hard work and the fact that you’re there for her is brilliant. Headways were such a good support network for me & l was told to keep a diary when l was in Hospital as it is hard for people to see their progress when something like this happens to them. Then 9 years ago l turned my diary into a book ‘It Was Not My Time’ l wanted to tell others you can get through this. I know it’s still on Amazon (think l’ve been reduced these days) Well done for helping her, l know my Mum & Dad were fab. My Dad would drive me wherever l needed to go until l was able to drive again & my Mum would do all my washing as my husband was working xx l hope that you’re looking after yourself as well, as a mother myself you spend your time making sure everyone is ok & sometimes forget you xx

[steve55]

hi theres a monthly headway group meet in croydon, i live in west sussex and go to another group.

you should be able to get the details from here, sorry i cant be more helpful.

[Exhaust in reply to steve55]

Thank you

[RogerCMerriman in reply to Exhaust]

headwayswlondon.org, meet in Croydon, Wimbledon, Richmond, Balham, it’s my local group who have been very supportive, even got me back into the NHS system etc.

[randomphantoms]

Hi Cign and welcome.

We are here if you want to use the forum.

The Headway website has a lot of really good leaflets you can download.

And last but not least there is the headway helpline who are lovely to talk with and could point you to the nearest headway group.

[yemmahabou]

Sorry to hear about your daughter. Could you tell us a bit more.

[Justine43]

My daughter lived in South Croydon collapsed and stopped breathing 4 years ago she is home now. If u wish to chat email me [e-mail]

[Exhaust in reply to Justine43]

How is your daughter now ?

[Justine43 in reply to Exhaust]

She has a good brain and spells very well to let us know what she wants ut can't move or see. She is 43 and attractive.

She has been home over 2 years and we have a good routine and she feels safe

[Wez0161]

Hi I had a brain hemerough and stroke 2 years ago I’m better now but Wat a struggle it has bin ive had a lot of complications during the Way if u want to chat I’ll send my number

[Exhaust in reply to Wez0161]

Yes please .

[Tontoknox]

Hi all -sry to hear about your daughter-I collapsed a year ago with a seizure-turned out I had brain cancer (glioblastoma)—six months of chemo and radiotherapy keeping it at bay -plus alternative treatments!!-so far so good-happy to help in any way I can

[jayne_h]

Sorry to hear about your daughter. Apart from joining a support group, try to get a copy of Tina M Sullivan's book, Nourish Your Noggin. It's a recipe book accompanying the book by Dr Diane Stolpert about brain injury drdiane.com . I have Dr Dian'es book and the cook book and I think the recipes helped my mum Tina Sullivan tells you about herbs and spices to help brain healing and some of the recipes are very nice. You can also make smoothies for your daughter.

Hope this helps xxx

[0101]

Hello

So sorry to hear what happened. There are a few places and charities but it might involve a bit of ringing round, emailing or getting through to the right person. I realise this in itself might be exhausting, but there are a few places that might be good to try:

There's a charity called RoadPeace - the national charity for road crash victims in the UK. It supports the people affected by road crashes with emotional and practical support and advocacy. Please see roadpeace.org/

There are other local organisations too - one I know is the Road Victims Trust - it covers Beds, Cams and Herts so it doesn't quite cover London, but they might know of a similar kind of place nearer to you or a local contact. They're at rvtrust.org.uk/. They do phone contact for people outside their area.

It might be worth looking around to see if there are other posts on this site for/from people in a a similar situation, or post again. I realise it's nice to talk to real people and face to face though. It depends if there are specific things that you're finding difficult to deal with or access, or as time passes. People here have also given support or hints and tips about the effect events have on wider family and friends and what can be the emotional fallout for everyone - there are some great tips and strategies from both the person/people affected and also from those around and/or in caring roles. It's often the little things that others in a similar place can seem to understand better. Sorry if you've tried these and it's just more signposting. Having a listening and proactive GP and other local services always helps!

I wish you all the very best. Post again if this is as clear as mud.

0101

[Leab2017]

So sorry to hear about your daughter I’m not near you but I hope she improves , my brother has been minimally conscious for a year now it’s an awful time

[Exhaust in reply to Leab2017]

Sorry to hear about your brother . Was this also a car accident ? We are 8 months in now and our daughter has little short term memory some long term memory has gone very little emotion and no concentration . We are told it is very early days in brain recovery . Reading lots of posts on here I am now beginning to believe this .

[Flumptious in reply to Exhaust]

Hello, Exhausted.

It *is* early days yet, believe me.

I got a TBI 13 years ago, when I fell off my bike in France. I had the accident in July, and I was in hospital for ages. I went home overnight (for just one night) at Christmas. I was all confused, when my husband took me to a house. "We don't live here - we live in a flat, in Surbiton!" He told me that we had moved 18 months ago, so we would have more space, when we were expecting our second daughter. But that confused me - we had Lizzie, our little toddler. But Mr Flump kept bringing a cute little one-year-old into the hospital, as well. I would say "Who is this? She is cute, isn't she. Who is her mum?", to which he would reply "YOU are. I told you that yesterday, and the day before!"

The short-term memory problems lasted a few months, but they are gone, now (or bearable, anyway - I now have a habit of making lots of notes, to remind me of all the things I must remember to do!). I still don't remember moving house, or my second pregnancy, so I still have about two years of memory missing (from before and after the accident). I am still not back to where I was, before the accident, but I went back to work (after 18 months off sick!), and I ran the London Marathon twice, to raise money for Headway. However, it took a *long* time to get there.

Don't give up on your daughter! Support her, and she will slowly get better. Oh, but my sympathies are with you. I often think that while I was in hospital, I didn't really know what was going on. But Mr Flump did: he was at home, with a toddler, and a baby, and he had a wife who couldn't remember things from day to day. I don't know how he got through it. But he did. And you can, too.

[Exhaust in reply to Flumptious]

Thank you for your reply . It's really encouraging to hear all the positive outcomes. She wasn't supposed to live had hours of surgery to repair damage to her skull and horrific facial injuries . At the moment the therapists/Drs say a full recovery will not happen she will need support for life . We just take everything day by day . It's all very roar still . I'm glad your recovering well .

[Exhaust in reply to Exhaust]

Was yours a frontal brain injury ?

[Leab2017 in reply to Exhaust]

No he was attacked with a hammer had a traumatic brain injury, he’s still classed as minimally conscious some days he follows commands other days he doesn’t i always get my hug off him , he doesn’t walk talk etc fed through a peg in his tummy, how is your daughter ? can she talk etc ?