Help - at a low point and don’t know where to turn

Dear Teynboy,

First and foremost it is good and so important that you recognize that this is a low point and that, like the other times you have felt something like this, it will pass.

Second good thing, you have reached out to others. There is so much experience among those on this site and they care so genuinely. You are sure to get good advice. And besides, we are rarely the best source of insights when we are feeling so low.

You are already doing so very much of what is usually recommended to people. It is little comfort right now, I know, but please take notice and congratulate yourself for pushing past all the pain and previous low points to exercise, engage in productive activities, be outwardly positive and inwardly so, too, most of the time! You are inspiring.

What will help you now may be different from what has helped you in the past. It may also be very different from what helped someone else. So please don"t worry if some of the advice seems to not apply well right now. For one person, getting a dog made all the difference, for others it was meditation or a change in diet. In addition to reading people's suggestions, please browse the titles of past posts like yours for the answers that people posted there.

You mention that you are embarrassed by these dark episodes and get snappy with those closest to you. If you could give them a signal that you know what is happening even if you cannot change it right now or talk about it, it might reduce the interpersonal issues that can arise. Sometimes humor is a good way to communicate a tough situation -- e.g. a photo of a cross lion and a "Teynboy will be back soon" sign. Something like this can be just enough to keep people from taking unintended slights as personally.

Wishing you a short stay in this low point. All the best,

Taia

Do you think you might be doing a bit too much? Can you build in some relaxing time into your busy life? I think being 'different inside' is a normal think for those with a bi and most people don't realise unless they know you really well. Could you try CBT to talk this over with a trained counsellor who might help you to recognise the triggers. Yoga, mindfulness and similar c lasses might help you to relax when you feel an episode coming on.

I recognise your unexpected self esteem damage. I experience the same. I started a new business last year after my 2014 TBI and I am predominantly positive, fit etc. However, once or twice a week I am reminded that my brain isn’t, and never will be, as good as it was. Unfortunately, nothing I can do about that, and whilst I can cope with that it can be depressing for a short period of time. It is important to try and remember that ultimately it doesn’t matter, everything happens for a reason. I have to try and override negativity with positivity to keep myself smiling. I ain’t a champion yet, but I’ll keep doing it until the day I die, which could have been four years ago!

Good luck with it👍🏻

Hi I was feeling low on Saturday and I was feel brighter on Sunday, Depression comes and goes in small doses sometime it can stay for weeks

good evening, sounds about right my friend, all to do with your tbi.

are you noise intollerant, inappropriate behaviour?

what about fatigue? im not sure whether youre aware but because we become fatigued very easily, it is suggested if we work in the morning we rest until the following afternoon, that means following interests not just sleeping but making sure we get at least 8 hours sleep.

do you have short term memory problems? i do, because i forget to take my own good advice ha ha ha!!!! all joking aside though, i do suffer short term memory loss, i also forget what im talking about in the middle of a conversation.

Thing with BI is that other people don’t notice the problems you go through. Loneliness is one I’ve been through but now attend a BI group that has got me into exercise and running. Looking at everyone who attends the group you wouldn’t know that any of them had BI apart from 1 or 2 that have physical problems or speech problems. The man who set the group up often talks about what he’s been through and how it still effects him (actually upsetting to think what he’s been through depression etc) he still has trouble with memory and concentration which can be easy to overlook as he seems fine 99% of time. He’s done some personal training with me but stopped as he didn’t feel it was fair on others that he didn’t have time for. I’m going to ask if he’d do group session so I can still join in but I’m not sure he will as he feels responsible for me or who ever is with him and I’m not sure he’d be comfortable with a group of us. Another thing I’ve spoken to him about is reading texts but not replying. If he’s doing something when he reads text he forgets. My solution was only read them when he’s not busy, but he said his mind doesn’t work like that.

My mums mate seen one advertised and mentioned it to me so I went to see what they could offer. As I was 5years into recovery I wasn’t sure if it would be any use to me as main problem I had was not meeting anyone. Started going once a week then twice and when ever there was anything happening.

I had tried headway before but seemed to have everything cancelled through not enough people interested.

Yea there needs to be more groups for BI to get people meeting each other rather than just helping those having problems. All good helping people having problems but there is a lot like me not needing help but want to meet people. Where abouts are you? If you are near me I would recommend group I go to but unfortunately it’s only in one place at minute which is where the man who set group up is from.