Son getting depressed: Hello, My Son is at present... - Headway

Headway

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Son getting depressed

Cotton50
Cotton50

Hello, My Son is at present in a rehabilitation ward, not ideal, 4hours away from us, no friends or family there to visit. He is so depressed, sometimes refuses to take his medication, refused to go for a scan the other day. Yet, I can talk him round via the phone to do these things. We need him in a rehabilitation place near to us, so that we can help and support him. I spoke to him this evening and he was crying, he gets very muddled and had thought we were visiting him today. He forgets things, says the wrong words but the staff don’t know him, and the doctors ask him questions and think he’s understanding and answering them, when most of the time he doesn’t grasp the questions but just says yes and No. We asked him a series of questions a few weeks ago he could answer them, now he can’t remember any of the right answers. He had a fall yesterday, when he spoke to my daughter he told her he was on his way to the chip shop, later on when I spoke to him he told me he was coming round to see me at my house. My concern is the staff just don’t seem to realise how muddled he gets. He needs to be here near us, but the hospital are not supporting a move - yes it’s all about funding. But my Sons needs are just not at the centre of decision making. The situation is heartbreaking, I am reluctant to make issues but I don’t see any alternative. We have the support of our MP, but now thinking of contacting the newspapers, in fact anybody who will listen. I am feeling so desperate.

7 Replies
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Oh Cotton50, you must be at your wits end. I dont even know where i would start.

What is your MP doing to help, its great having the support but action is needed. Your sons state of mind will not be helping his recovery,

What have Headway said? Also Care for the carers , maybe they have advice.

Im sorry i can only give my moral support.

Janet xx

Hi , I feel for you but keep pushing because getting depressed is not good and doesn't help recovery . Go to the papers if you have to . Good luck xx

Good morning, I am so sorry this is such a sad situation. Have you tried talking to the unit? Also I would look for a neuro unit yourself nearer home then ask them if they will have your son. If you can get him in their waiting list it would be a start. Your son needs his family you are a big part of his rehab. Good luck xx

Oh dear. I think I can talk from your son's point of view. I had a fractured skull due to an assault when I was 31 years old. I was a real cranky so and so. I reckon if anything I think the reason was I didn't like the idea of changing from a strong happy fireman into an almost useless, partly bedridden, nobody. I lost my appetite and only having visitors rarely. It ended up so bad my fiancee was told to bring favourite food to try to cheer me up. And she told the doctor " if anything my favourite could well be a beer. He told her OK. ". It helped me to get through the 11 weeks that I was in hospital. The last hurdle was my temperament, which settled down by itself over time. Sometimes I was terrible, but I definitely didn't like being locked up in somewhere full of people I didn't know. In the end the doctor said I could leave if I had someone to look after me. My fiancee 's mother said she'd take me off their hands. I was out of there ASAP. I took it easy for some time until I had gout and then my first seizure. Maybe when he starts to get back to some normality. Can he come back to you for some TCL? It was what did it for me. Good luck to you and your son. Dave x

Have you spoken to your own GP about your despair ?

Who is looking after you?

I hope you and your son will get the help you need.

I am sorry I can't think of anything else.

Cotton50
Cotton50 in reply to Ruminata

Thank you all for your replies. It's all very complicated and sad. Yes our MP is acting on our behalf and has wrote to the hospital, we await their reply. Unfortunately as much as I would like my Son home here with me for many reasons this will not be possible. Yes I had s chat with my GP yesterday, the hospital keep telling us we MUST register my Son with our GP in order to get him moved and funded. But, as GP said, this would not be practical as there is a rehab ward a few miles away, but, our GP does not attend that area. Without a doubt we are being given the runaround and everybody is blaming everybody else. And as I said it's all about what area will fund my Son, all red tape. And in the meantime my Son is getting more isolated and depressed. Hence he is certainly NOT at the heart of any decisions being made in his interests. If I have to shake one more limp hand or see one more false smile knowing they are all playing with words and fudging the truth I will scream. Common Sense and Compassion seems to escape those who could really help and get this "case" moving. I truly believe the NHS are dragging their feet hoping the funding will be passed to Social Area funding when my Son eventually needs to be moved to somewhere more permanent.

Sending you a good,honest strong hug

(to counterbalance those limp handshakes)

Take care

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