Ha ha as the title says I am weird. Well I keep being reminded by my family my daughter and son and my wife iv always been a bit strange but I have now accepted I'm from the weird factory. Well have been since my Bi.
Iv said in posts before about my alcoholism and that I have now been sober for 44 months and counting one day at a time. But since my sobriety and massively since my Bi back in May 2015 I still think I'm 21 which was when I started drinking so my brain still thinks I'm 21, I have researched this phenomena and its very common that you go into a sort of lock down in your mind and the alcohol abuse stops you growing up mentally. The Bi has a part to play too lots of chats with my councillor about this and its all part of the symptoms of Bi. My sense of humour is that of a kid and I find it really difficult to take things seriously and worse of all I don't worry about anything like I used to.
But on a serous note has anyone else had experience with this?
Have a great day people.
N
Written by
MXman
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The regressive/lock-down thing sounds familiar- mine wasn't alcoholism stilting my development, just a combination of other external factors. The short version is that my half-sister was born when I was 11, and I pretty much raised her. I didn't 'do' adolescence as such, my Mother and Step-father both worked full-time, so I was on pick-up duty from the childminder after school, and then dropping the sprog off at school, and picking her up when she got to that age. I haven't regressed to the 'staying out all night, and drinking cider in the park' stage, because I never did that, but I see a lot of 'teenage' behaviour in myself. Everything's 'so unfair', I didn't ask to be (re)born like this, and I flop about the house in a hoodie, eating food straight out of the fridge. It's compounded by the boy being back from Uni for the summer break, neither of us can be a*sed to do anything, but I remember how grown-ups are supposed to behave, so I force myself to wash, dress, and clean up... it's tedious, and I hate it.
The teenage body-reclaiming rebellion has always been a big part of me, luckily I can't afford any more tattoos, and I know I absolutely mustn't shave my head, due to the big scar. (Another me-thing, not helped by the stress and poor diet making my hair fall out, I'm shedding like a fat Labrador, and my vacuum cleaner probably contains several Cousin Its.) I was odd before, but I know I'm more-odd now, I freak the kid out daily, with brain-weird stuff, and he's FURIOUS that my PIP-claim has been declined again. "Being you must be SO difficult, Mum.", he's not wrong, I can hear light-bulbs, and regularly freak out doing 'normal' things, like walking over bridges, or having someone stand too close to me in queues, I exhaust myself.
It is a weird one, but I don't know what other 'restart' point I would have picked, if I had a choice. I moved in with the ex when i was 18, married him at 19, and the kid was born when I was 21, I've always just 'gone with the flow' from one thing to the next.
The sense of humour. Most of the time, it's pure "If I don't laugh, I'll cry.", and ripping the proverbial out of myself, because I used to be a respected professional, and now I sometimes try to put both my socks on one foot. I laugh at things other people don't find funny, but, for me, that's better than getting back under the duvet, and just never coming back out. The kid and I end up having giggling hysterics to the point we can't breathe, have hiccups, and our faces ache, usually about something ridiculous, like one of us saying 'spoon', or 'lumps' in a funny voice. I hope he remembers those laughs more than he remembers me repeatedly trying to pick up objects, and missing, because my 'hands have fallen out with my eyes again.'
I think that being unemployed might have set me back a bit, I was doing a fair impersonation of a proper grown-up when I had the routine of work, now, every day feels like a Sunday, and I'm trying really hard not to focus on the stuff I find difficult. Anyway, on with it, I'm awaiting the outcome of the Mandatory Reconsideration on the PIP, again, and actively seeking employment, so I can pretend to be a grown-up, whilst covering up teenage-boy-type smirks, at things other people don't find funny.
Ha ha hah ha I just had to read that twice as its so so like me and I completely understand every word your saying. I make myself laugh at the stuff I say to my kids they are 15 and 17 they don't always laugh though.
Chatted with my councillor about it and its very common so I have accepted it.
Yep can relate to the both of you. Although alcohol can not be blamed for me.
I have always been sarcastic but my humour now is very child like. AlsI I have what my family call my " Kevin and Perry" moments.
I am also locked into time period. I have only been able to find voluntary work since my bi 18 years ago yet I still feel and act as though I have only recently finished from my job and relate everything to that time. In my mind the world is the same along with its laws a legislation.
As for being weird well always have been so I suppose I always will.
Thank Pax, When your kids and you wife remind you daily it starts becoming a little worrying but I have accepted it as I can't change it so I'm sure they will too.... Just takes time I guess.
Hard to comment Nick as my son, daughter and I all consider each other weird (in good/funny ways).
......................" its very common that you go into a sort of lock down in your mind and the alcohol abuse stops you growing up mentally".............. If that's the case Nick I don't know what you can do to achieve maturity apart from intense psychotherapy !
But is 21 such an uncomfortable age ; is it causing problems for you or your family ? 😖 x
I'm down with heavy v.snotty cold at present, but thanks for asking Nick !
In terms of 'Being as old as you feel' ................ maybe when you're approaching 100 you'll be feeling (& more importantly acting ) like a 42yr-old ? ..............that's the equation I'm seeing anyway !!
I have read and spoke to a few and its a type of autism where your brain is locked into an age. I must speak to the consultant who looked after me when it happened, maybe he can shed a bit of light on it for me.
I thought Autism was an innate conditition as opposed to something acquired.
So are you thinking you might have had this since birth Nick, and that it's unconnected to your brain injury ?
We have two females in the family with Autism, one in her forties who has no speech and severe bevavioural issues, and another, aged 6, who has classic autistic facets but is closer to the Savant description on the spectrum.
I can imagine how brain injury might exaccerbate certain autistic traits, for sure. x
I'm 63 going on 16 for much of the time, when I finally get to go out and a grumpy old goat when alone. We all have to grow old and as long as you trouble no one why not disgracefully? Life is too short. Dave
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Visual weirdness - does this have a name?
DO YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO HELP ME and some other people?
