Hi: Hey new to all this... I'm lucky really lucky on... - Headway

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Sarahbeck profile image
15 Replies

Hey new to all this...

I'm lucky really lucky on the 20 September 2015 I fainted in a gym and hit the floor I suffered a basal skull fracture and other small fractures in my head I instantly bled out of ears releasing the pressure off my brain. I was taken to addenbrooks for 9 days where they watched me.

I was happy positive and completely under the impression I was fine.

now I'm home I appreciate that I am so lucky and moans are for minor reasons but I don't feel like me anymore I don't feel like I have any value.

I am attempting to go back to a job I done for 13 year and it's hard, I'm not allowed to drive,I used to go gym 7 days a week was a passion, I can't taste or smell a thing I struggle with words spellings and speach when I'm tierd I look completely fine completely like me but I can't find the old me 😔 I feel a burden to loved ones I lost my independence.

Sorry I know it sounds dramtic. I am solucky i know this xxxx

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Sarahbeck
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15 Replies
RogerCMerriman profile image
RogerCMerriman

it is early days, I had a fairly minor skull fractures and bleeds, and while I did return to work quite early with in two months, it took me another 6 months or so before I was working full time and so on.

I didn't but I should have, gone to the headway meetings. Meeting others yes there is a huge difference in the level of disability and so on, but problems are generally the same. Just talking to others helps I find/found.

StrawberryCream profile image
StrawberryCream

Hi Sarah

As this only happened to you on the 20th September it is far too early for you to be going back to work. When you do it also needs to be a very gradual phased return so you can adjust and cope with it. What has happened to your brain is very serious even though your recovery in hospital has been uneventful. Your brain is still going to be recovering and your need to allow more time for this. The fatigue you are struggling with is the norm with a bi and you need to allow yourself plenty of rest during the day. As you have noticed doing too much results in your speech and word finding etc. Yes most of us look absolutely fine on the outside unless our bi has caused physical disability. BI is a invisible disability that is difficult for us but especially others to understand or accept! I frequently get told 'well you look ok'!!!!! You are not a fraud or a burden. You have recently sustain a bi and that is far more serious than illness like the flu etc. Please try to allow yourself time to recover otherwise you could set back your progress. I am sure your GP would be agreeable to signing you off sick for a longer time and you should allow that to happen and not feel you have to get back to work and everything else so quickly. Have a look on the Headway website where you can download lots of helpful information about bi and recovery. Or ring there Helpline for advice and if you prefer they will also send relevant info to you.

moo196 profile image
moo196

Hi and welcome ( though I guess none of us really wanted to be part of this club - it's a great supportive forum) .

Most of what you say I think sounds pretty normal for these very early days ..... things should hopefully improve for you but best advice I can give for now ( in my lunchbreak so bit hurried sorry ) is be kind to yourself - get some headway advice - they can do home visits and try to stay positive - don't rush ..... anything creative youo could do ?/ Mine was cooking ..... benefitted me no end as could just read instructions and had something yummy for dinner too. Also used stories on cd ... could go back and listen again to anything I had forgotten ( lots in the early weeks/months) . Take care K x

paxo05 profile image
paxo05

Welcome Sarah.

Dont rush you have the rest of your life to get back. I tried and ended up puttingback my recovery.

It does confirm what I always expected to much exercise and gyms are bad for your health.

On a more serious note good luck with recovery. Remember anything that affects you is serious to you.

Pax

Sarahbeck profile image
Sarahbeck in reply to paxo05

Hahaha I think I have put off hundreds of gym goers in my area xx

cat3 profile image
cat3

Hi Sarah. It could be that you've come through the 'bravado' stage, (which I remember well) to the realisation that you're not as unaffected as you thought you were.

All your issues are familiar to most people here, in different degrees of severity. But your bleed was so recent (I was still hospitalised at the stage you're at now) so there are many months, of healing and adjustment for your brain, still to go.

There's still time for improvement, but a big part of rehabilitation is down to attitude, and acceptance that there might be permanent changes which we can and do learn to accept and/or overcome.

Please be sure, before returning to work, that your employers are made aware of your head injury and are prepared to offer some leeway, and even a reduction of workload 'til you're confident of your capabilities and possible limitations.

If you feel you might be depressed, speak to your GP about getting help, either in the form of counselling or medication.

Please talk to us here if/whenever you need support or simply to offload.

My best wishes, Cat x

Sarahbeck profile image
Sarahbeck in reply to cat3

I think u have hit nail on head the bravado stage is only stage Iv really been in pretending nothing has changed or happened.

It's so hard to feel like the old me really xxx

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to Sarahbeck

It's tough I know Sarah, but struggling to re-connect with the 'old you' might be your biggest problem. If you can embrace the 'new you', despite all the imperfections and new issues, it'll be so much easier to move forward and take some control.

I can remember having a good talk with myself about 6 months on from the BI on this very subject. It was about adjusting to my new limitations, whilst at the same time seeing how I could stretch the boundaries without exhausting myself.

And you're not a burden ; you're an injured lady who's going to fight to regain confidence in herself & be the best that she can, despite the changes.

Keep posting Sarah. Cat xx

Alice5 profile image
Alice5

Hi Sarah

Be gentle on yourself, it really is such very early days.

My son lost his sense of smell and taste but it returned but it took time.

He couldn't drive for a year and it was so hard. He's not exactly the same as he was but he can work, look after his children. It can be overwhelming at times but I'll help when necessary. This is 4 years ago and takes time.

Be patient with yourself and don't expect too much too soon.

Share on here, it's a great place for support.

Take care xx

MXman profile image
MXman

Hi Sarah,

Welcome.

You are in the right place for great advice and help. I have learnt loads from this forum and still learning. As others have said its early days and don't expect to much from yourself, be kind to yourself and accept what has happened and take one day at a time.

I am pretty fit and regularly go to the gym and was riding MX every week and thought I was invincible but found out the hard way that I'm not. I had to take it easy and really wanted to get on with my old life but found it really tough to do so, work was hard too. But after time and acceptance I am back there but no way near like i was, V1 (version 1) as I call the old me is very different from V2 (version 2) As said to spend some time on here and get to your local headway centre.

God bless and have a fantastic Friday evening. N

aqua4 profile image
aqua4

Hi Sarah, welcome. Can't add any more than the others.

Theres always someone on here who understands. Take care.K

Sarahbeck profile image
Sarahbeck

Thank you all so much been struggling with finding myself and guess you all are right will take time I'm selfishly glad that have found people who understand this

Thank you all xxxxxx

randomphantoms profile image
randomphantoms

Hi Sarah

Sorry to come late with this reply.

So you're almost at the 6 months mark!

I bet you've noticed lots of improvements since you posted.

The only extra advice I can give is to try to focus on one area and work on it and remember to be kind to yourself and be proud of your achievements.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

Sarahbeck profile image
Sarahbeck in reply to randomphantoms

Thanks xx

I have noticed a huge amount of improvements however hit a wall a big wall I'm angry n sad all the time currently under investigation for this I can't figure out why 😔 Xx

randomphantoms profile image
randomphantoms in reply to Sarahbeck

Have you asked for counselling?

It was a full 2 years after my fall that I was told to go and grieve for what I'd lost.

For the lucky ones full recovery is possible but many of us reach a point and have to learn to live with the changes in the new us.

At 6 months I was so angry and frustrated i verbally threatened to knock out the next person who said "baby steps".

It does get better. Honestly it does.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

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