Feeling down

[muzzyden]

I heard yesterday that my consultant at Kings College Hospital is no longer my consultant , I'm upset about this because he's been with me since I was admitted to the hospital in 2012 and has operated on my brain several times . To me he was my life saver and really nice and friendly , I know this might seem silly, but I had a job to get off to sleep last night worrying about my new consultant who I will meet in January . Today I'm feeling really down . Am I being stupid ?

[StrawberryCream]

No muzzyden you are not being stupid at all. It is extremely hard when you have someone responsible for your surgery and post op care that you have total faith in and find to be a compassionate and an understanding person who is great at his job. Especially as that Consultant has been on an incredible journey with you as has been your 'life saver'. I too often struggle when I get passed from one nhs professional to another and have experienced that far too many times due to services feeling they have reached the end of there role with me, feeling other services are more appropriate or people leaving there jobs. Since discharge I have been seen by 20+ professionals, each with there varying understanding of brain injury (many don't) and with conflicting ideas as to what they are treating and what they think is best for me or I should be doing. I believe Kings has the reputation of being at the forefront of Neurological services and therefore I assume would be attracting the best in the field. So do try and keep an open mind as the new consultant may be equally as good. However, I totally understand how this has sent you into such a state of worry and anxiety which you will have lurking over you until your appointment in January. Has your consultant left or is the change because his role is more surgery rather than ongoing care perhaps?? I also know for me that I do have problems adjusting and accepting change because of my brain injury but I do sometimes question whether that is always the reason as I have also I feel received a poor service too. Best wishes and I hope that you can find someway of managing the angst it is causing you so that doesn't have a negative effect on your recovery. x

[leicester1 in reply to StrawberryCream]

Thank you StrawberryCream for your reply . I really don't know where my consultants gone , I only found out by chance as I'm due to have another MRI before my next appointment and I haven't heard anything so I e-mailed them , I received a reply back saw another name on there and didn't really think too much about it . But then yesterday I had a phone call to say I was now under a different consultant as mine had left and they would look into my next MRI appointment . I was shocked, but now I wish I'd asked the lady more questions !!!!!!!! I'm a bit calmer today and fingers crossed I sleep well tonight . xx

[leicester1 in reply to leicester1]

Sorry I've come up as leicester1 instead of Muzzyden , it's because I messed up this the other day . Stupid me x

[StrawberryCream in reply to leicester1]

Hi muzzyden or leicester1

[StrawberryCream in reply to StrawberryCream]

Just logged back in and discovered my long message has disappeared to just saying hi muzzyden or leicester1!! How very annoying and frustrating. Where has the main part of the message vanished too?????? So sorry I will perhaps rewrite tomorrow x

[muzzyden in reply to StrawberryCream]

Hi StrawberryCream I'm Muzzyden sorry but that's me not knowing what i'm doing on here !!!!!!! x

[Nutkin33]

You're not at all stupid. You had a deep trust in your consultant, and to get used to another will be hard I know. Try and be positive, and who knows, your new consultant might have an idea that is useful to you!

[muzzyden in reply to Nutkin33]

Thank you Nutkin33 for your reply x

[Broken_Doll]

Nope not stupid at all I think all of us would feel the same especially have rapport with someone like you have with doc

I have found I don't react at all well change I alnost have no flexibility in my thoughts at all

I don't know else to say but this wprd have escape me

Take care

Emma x

[muzzyden in reply to Broken_Doll]

Thank you Emma for your reply , I to don't like change especially since this health problem . x

[Stardrop]

It's part of the journey, some people come into our lives and will never be forgotten for their kindness and help however fleeting the encounter was or how bad our memories are. Some of the medical and rehabilitation team get to know us better than our family as we spill in our innermost fears and thoughts.

It's always hard to say goodbye to people who have made such an impact on our lives, and feels like a bereavement. But that is life.

It's also scary to meet the replacement, will they have read my notes properly? Do they really understand brain injury? The medical side and how I am. How scary going to new places, not being able to stand busy places or recognise faces, or live with balance problems.

Do they see me and think that I am (or could be) much more able than I am? I appear calm in an appointment but can have the most awful meltdown when frustration and tiredness kick in.

I hope it all goes well with the new guy.

[muzzyden in reply to Stardrop]

Thank you Stardrop for your reply, you certainly make a lot of sense in what you've written . Thank you so much x