Is it normal to lack social confidence

Hi following on to previous questions which are closely linked is it normal to lack social confidence after a TBI or is it just me

[ladycassy]

Hidillm2. I think from what I have read it is one of the many things we have now that we didn't have before.

I find it difficult even with my family. I went to my son's for dinner a week ago. His mother in-law was there, and he didn't tell me she would be. I reacted badly and just closed down unable to speak for the whole time I was there. I just couldn't cope with the situation. Now I have the extra stress and wory about what they all think of me now, so don't want to go out at all.

Seeing your post helps me and others because I now know it's not just me. good luck with your fight.

[sospan]

Oh definitely for its down to quite a few things:

Noise & Lights; Sometimes all my energies are focused on coping with the noise and lights that I don't have enough capacity to participate with what is going on

Facial Expressions and Subtle hints; When you do talk I find it difficult to interpret the subtle facial expressions and hints that come out during the conversations and quite often misread them which makes me more nervous

Speech; Sometimes I miss interpret the subject or my speech goes slow and whilst I am talking a background thought keeps coming into my head thinking "your going to slow, they aren't following, you've missed the point" etc. This makes the confidence worse and speech even slower.

[BaronC]

For the first two years following my injury, I spent virtually every second in any social situation looking for my quickest means of escape. In case of panic, or due to a seizure, it was far more important for me to know how to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible, than it ever was to listen to what anyone might be saying. It really was that simple. Flight or fight, well for me, flight won out every time. Thankfully, eventually it faded with time however and now I feel much more confident, I guess time really was a healer for me in that respect.

Good luck,

Andy

[Danslatete]

I was a virtual hermit because it was easier for me to be alone. Headway was a great help in socialising not too long and not to much noise.

Hated people coming around to my house because you can't go home for peace and quiet!

I did get better for me over time although I do tend to avoid social situations as much as possible

[cat3]

It seems to be a common symptom of head injury. Mine was a SAH, but still, I find myself avoiding as many social situations as possible nowadays. Those that I have to attend, I usually slip away from at the earliest opportunity & feel pretty 'wiped out' afterwards.

I never quite feel that I fit in, and being told 'it's all in your head' doesn't win any prizes for reassurance !

Take care dillm. xx

[Mikesghost]

I just got tired of explaining about my scars and why I needed a walking stick but once I got rid of the stick and bought a baseball cap I regained my confidence

[philstretchdavis]

It's been 10 years since my TBI. In that time, I never go out at night any more. I find it extremely hard to trust anyone and the only company I like is with my dog. I put on a brave face whilst I'm out during the day, I still have plenty of chat, but the bottom line is, I don't trust anyone.Sorry dillm2 if I've deflated you at all.

[Hidden in reply to philstretchdavis]

my best friends are our two Bedlington Terriers

[Hidden]

I am grateful for everyones input and kind comments

As you can be aware to have a TBI in 1964 have no support or Treatment till 2013 I am questioning every thing in my life which may have been a result of the accident

[sospan in reply to Hidden]

Mo Mowlam the politician went through a similar self examination after they found she had cancer. She questioned whether her personality was really her or the effect of the cancer - horrible place to be.

[Hidden]

I am really proud off you all for being able to help me and for facing your own demons

Thanks