How to cope with partner's depression /anxiety aft... - Headway


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How to cope with partner's depression /anxiety after SAH?


My partner suffered a major SAH in 2008 which caused a major stroke & hydrocephalus. Although I think he has had a fantastic recovery in learning to walk, talk and live as independently as possible, he doesn't see it. We have since had a daughter in 2011 who he is the main carer of while I am back to work full time. The problem is he has bouts of serious depression and has no positive outlook to his life. I have tried to coax him towards some sort of therapy with no such luck. I feel he is capable of so much more in his life but just puts himself down all the time. Has anyone got any experience of this & can advise on the best route of action for him? Thanks in advance!

7 Replies

The two obvious choices to address this would be a 'talking' therapy or antidepressant medication.........or both, but it looks like your hands are tied at present.

It's obviously a difficult one if your partner wont have help. Does he have contact with other adults during the day ? Also, has he expressed any feelings/ideas which might account for his depression ?

not an easy one but some personal experience i had a sah in 2007 in 2008 i was aggressive frustrated and angry with how my life change so dramativcally my then fiancee wit whom i waspassionatly in love had a brutal talk to me essentially saying pull your act together stop trhis aggression you survived many are dead and far worse than i was if you dont i will leave you i pulked up my socks realised i had to change and i did brutal talk does work taking me round the hospital i was in to show me those unable to speak riddled with paralysis and no hope of any quality of life for the future goood luck neil

Thanks for your replies! We've been to see his specialists today after having another CT & MRI. All very positive news so I plucked up the courage & mentioned his attitude. Thankfully they agreed he is young enough to carry on ( he's only 47) & he has agreed to be referred to see a psychologist. Phew! Now it's just getting him to the appointment ha ha

Well done kw, that's a very promising outcome and I hope it's a turning point for you both.

Thank you for letting us know & please keep us updated with your partners progression. x

Hi there,

Your partner's needs sound a lot greater than mine, kw77. However, I've just posted on the over-the-counter supplement 5-HTP on the site.

I had similar symptoms to your partner's. My then GP prescribed Prozac. I didn't like it. It stopped me from slipping into "lows", I suppose. But it didn't give much that seemed "up." I felt flat, so came off it years ago.

My neighbour suggested I try 5-Thingy a few weeks ago. It seems to have helped a lot with the apathy and lack of energy which stopped me from feeling fully alive. One medic's said it pushes up serotonin levels, which might be what it's done for me?

Of course, you'll want to check it out with your medics........all I can say is that I've felt shed-loads better since taking it.


kw77 in reply to Bobvant

Thanks Bob I will have a look out for it

Hi guys well few months on and we're creeping back to the dark side again! The psychologist that he got referred to helped a little but she was more of a cognitive therapist so could not help much.He is now becoming very insecure & paranoid but pushing me away!? He is extremely negative again about his life & has no positive outlook! I am really really trying to help but seem to have hit a massive wall & have also got to think about our 3 yr old & how things effect her! I love him to bits but am now struggling to cope.Does anyone else have experience of being the partner at their side??

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