19 yr old son with TBI from age three

Im looking to find help for my son...

My 19 yr old son has TBI.

A letter written to my family memer:

"Last time I went to visit him I had to go for a meeting and there was a team of people talking about his placement...I wanted to include him in the meeting so I asked if he was going to be there. When I got there I told him to come inside with me. I think it was a mistake because there wasnt any real conclusion or answer to them placing him in a group home. Everyone in the meeting was just rambling about ideas. I think Chris started getting a little aggrivated because he was grabbing the pen out of my hand and writing on his arm and writng aggressively on paper. I took the pen from him and left the meeting saying I was going to the restroom. He followed me and tried to grab the pen and hurt me. They called a code grey on him. It was very upsetting for me because I saw the staff grab him and they didnt even explain to chris for him to calm down or step away or anything. Im not in charge of de-escalating him right now so I wasnt sure what would work. All i did was just get rid of the pen and ask for help. I asked chris to calm down though but his fists were balled up and ready to hurt me. It scared me.He called back saying he was sorry and he keeps trying to be mean to me on the phone....like if he is mean to me then he can get his way like usual but I dont have the power right now to make things better for him. im trying to have faith in the system that they will find him a good home. Somewhere I can visit him often and help him in his life and take him places. Im worried about taking the girls to see him right now too. just because of the aggression. I dont like thinking that I should walk away for a little while because honestly he doesnt have anyone except me. His dad lives in Philidelphia. His dad sends him random packages and stuff, which is a nice gesture. Im never going to be mean about his dad not being in his life because you never know when the time will come when they may start bonding and becoming helpful to one another. I love Chris and wouldnt ruin any chances he has with his father. Actually his dad is coming Dec 6th to see him for a couple of days; taking an airplane here and everything? I want to believe its to visit chris finally! I hope its not any selfish reasons. Christopher is conserved through District 95 mental health and he is not authorized to sign any forms...I hope Phillip isnt flying all the way out here to get Chris to sign away on his Child support paperwork. (that would be wrong) :(

Im going to try and have a positive outlook on the situation though.

In the meeting for Chris they brought up a good point about his behavior, they discussed how Christophers brain injury is not a behavioral issue and he shouldnt be placed in a placement due to behavioral its more of rehabilitation living skills he needs to learn. A placement suitable for chris's diagnosis of (TBI) Traumatic Brain Injury. The group compared his situation to those in the military. There are all kinds of services to rehabilitate injured soldiers with brain injuries....so they might place him in a placement like that. I know Chris wants to leave and I feel really bad about this whole situation. I even lose hope in society most of the time. I have a plan if things are not resolved soon. I feel like I want to sue (NLACRC) North Los Angeles County Regional Center for emotional suffering due to the fact that they could not find sutable placement for my son in a reasonable amount of time. I feel like they put me in this situation and that my good name was put out there with (DCFS)Department of Children & Family Services. I even want to sue DCFS for wrongful accusations saying I abandoned my son! I was looking for medical treatment for my son, I did not abandon him. Two weeks prior to chris supposedly being abandoned by me I had some cases with DCFS and they said I was doing everything well with his concerns and that they couldnt help or do anything? I know I have a big case because Putting Chris into a mental institution losing his spirit and making him think he is a bad boy who makes bad choices. Chris didnt do anything purposely to be in so much trouble like he is.

Even the things he has suffered through like some sexual encounters in there has humiliated him. And him starting to smoke cigarettes in there could harm his health. I feel like these services have only hindered the bond between chris and I....some days I feel pressure to just not give up on my son all together. Christopher is more aggressive to me because of his fustration to leave the hospital. Its the little things that make him happy at this point. I buy him shoes and clothes and little stuff like books and cigarettes. I also try to see him once or twice a week. I was paying for these counseling classes once a week to but I got those to stop because of the money aspect. now since I had a money issue for a little while I stopped going to visit him so much which also is hindering our relationship. Im not searching for money or trying to get sue-happy or anything? I just want justice for my disabled son and I want the right thing to be done for him. He is such a happy soul and he has big dreams for his life and he loves with all his heart! I also dont want this all to be put on me and given a bad name. I carry too much guilt as it is to let anyone judge me for all that has happened after his accident. "

My son Christopher is my life.

1 Reply

  • I know exactly how you feel. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and your family. I have found the help and support on this site invaluable. I hope it can be of some help to you also.

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