do you remember receiving your injury: do you... - Headway

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do you remember receiving your injury

bikerlifestyle profile image
29 Replies

do you remember the incident which caused your brain injury?

if so does it haunt you?

I have no memory of it or the events leading up to it, and to be honest i am glad now that i don't remember as i would have to relive it forever, for a long time after i found it hard not knowing the exact details of what happened

i had another person with me but they were 20 to 30 yards ahead and didn't see it happen, they didnt even know it happened until the stopped at the traffic lights about another 30 yards up the road and realised i didn't pull up by them

(basically a lorry came out of a side street and wiped me and my bike out)

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bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle
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29 Replies
amateurwriter profile image
amateurwriter

No, i don't, my friend who was with me at the time said it was all a blur and a nurse who saw some of what happened doesn't know 100% what happened, passer-by's just told the paramedics and the nurse that i fell 15-20ft straight on to my head, that was over 2 years now, but i want some answers so am seeing about getting my file from the hospital as my GP doesn't have it on his, i've changed GP's hopefully to a better one now, because have still got some problems but my old GP wouldn't listen to me and basically made out that i was making the whole fall and the problems i have, he was making out that i made it all up, which i am not but i get the feeling some of my family and friends think i'm making it all up as well, i just want some answers as to what happened and why i've still got problems, it must have been a bad fall my friend still has nightmares of me falling.

Hope you have recovered from your accident and your living life the best you can.

iforget profile image
iforget

I have no memory of my accident at all. I fell approx 10 feet face first onto reinforced concrete. There was a colleague right there with me at the time and apparently they had flashbacks about it for a long while after and felt guilty about not being able to do anything (they thought I was dead). I have a copy of the accident report but it means nothing at all when I read it. About a year or so later I was taken back to the place it happened but I did not even recognise it.

I have no memory of anything since that day either. At first we thought my long term memory was intact but that too was affected to some degree and I have no recall of the few weeks prior to my accident. Thankfully my procedural memory was only minimally affected.

Although my severe memory issues present challenges in every day life, I really believe they protect me too.

pollyanne profile image
pollyanne

My husband has no memories of his accident at all-Thank God!. I witnessed him being thrown over the bonnet of the car about 15feet into the air and it is a reoccurring nightmare!

Maybe this is Natures way of being kind not being able to remember ?

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle in reply to pollyanne

that must be horrible for you, i reckon our loved ones have it as bad (if not harder) than we do

MrPBH profile image
MrPBH

Well, my 'Incident' occurred over 20 years ago, even tho' I have no memory of several months after it - I do remember the events immediately before it. Travelling to work (incident occurred at 7:10am), on a minor B road, riding around a blind corner (leaning left) - I saw a red car driving toward me, on my side of the road. I have that 'helpless' and desperate feeling - unable to change the consequences - which I feel have resulted in me feeling emotionally numb. There were probably other events that have added to this (like inv.in Gulf war), being damaged from/by both is a lot to manage!

brighton88 profile image
brighton88

I was misdiagnosed for 2 1/2 years with my tumour, but I do remember the first time I had symptoms, I worked in an office with my back t the window, I began getting head aches and problems with the vision in my right eye. I thought it was the sun reflecting on the pc screen. that memory does haunt me, along with all the what if's? But is was not to be

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle in reply to brighton88

with the tumour was it a series of symptoms which alerted you to something wrong it was it a complete blac out type thing?

brighton88 profile image
brighton88 in reply to bikerlifestyle

yes that was the case with me, although at headway I did meet a girl who it started with a black out, what I've told you of is the moment I realised something was wrong. I feared it was a tumour and after 2 1/2 years of being told it was not, I was almost relieved when I had a diagnosis

stephy1 profile image
stephy1

No memory of my car accident., I was told I went through the windscreen of a car, suffered head injuries and was in a coma. I have had learning difficulties ever since, and find life quite hard

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle in reply to stephy1

welcome stephy sorry to hear that, its a great place for help here,

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle

it is amazing that our brains block this out to protect us,

and yes the not know is very hard, but i think the knowing would be worse

My husband has no memory of his accident, the week or so before or about 4 weeks after. By the time of his first memory he was already able to walk relatively well again and his short term memory was starting to improve as was his cognitive processes - so he cannot associate himself with somebody who was seriously ill. He does seem to recognise his limitations almost 12 months on but focus's on what he can achieve rather than what he cant (most of the time).

I on the other hand was next to him when he fell and throughout his time in the ambulance, A&E, seizure, hospital, unable to walk, unable to be fed etc - and some days I wish that I didn't remember, as flashbacks come at the most unexpected times and they are very haunting.

The neuro rehab centre advised him that he is unlikely ever to remember the event and not to get worked up by it. They advised me to write an account so that he could read and then put away which we did.

My hubby's one frustration is that whilst he tells people that he doesn't remember the accident they press him for details of the accident so he attempts to make things up by using my written memory (his false memory as he calls it) and then fills in the gap with what he feels may be the facts. This on occasions has led to some interesting tales.....But his one wish is that people would simply accept his comment "I really do not remember" and move on to a topic other than the accident. Sometimes this is one of the key reasons he doesn't want to socialise much because he simply cannot be bothered to go through the recalling something he will never remember routine.

I do believe it is sometimes natures way of protecting us to remove some of our worst memories.

Not sure if this helps at all?

I think you are a real inspiration from some of your posts and responses and you have given me much comfort and the ability to think through events.

I hope that it doesn't haunt you too much that you don't remember xxx

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle in reply to

i have the same issue with false memories, memories of the accident, and large portions of my life are missing but have been replaced with facts, other people memories, stories from when i was a kid and events such as my wedding are all 2nd hand stories, i have visited as many places that i have been been so i can put a picture to those memories and the wedding ophtos are my memories of the wedding.

so i can fully understand where he is coming from, i really wish i could get my memories of the non accident events back, its odd because it seems like its memories with emotions attached that have gone. and am left with facts about my life

as for people asking i have shortened my accident to 'a lorry pulled out and wiped me and my bike out but i remember nothing' and leave it there, if the push i just answer with ' i remember nothing'

he sounds like a positive person

thank you for your kind words, i just try and share what i am going through and helping others makes me feel better about myself too,

thepiercy profile image
thepiercy

I have about 3 weeks amnesia after my accident and don't have any desire to remember that horrible time. My memory of the next couple of months isn't great either and actually i find this period harder to deal with as i can remember quite a bit that happened and get very frustrated by the gaps.

zoegunning profile image
zoegunning

I have no memory of the day off my accident and about 3 weeks after it. When u did start to get my memory back it was very hazy. I am so glad I don't remember it and I agree it is our lived ones who had to live through that horrible time! I think the memory liss may also have something to do with the strong painkillers I was on?

BaronC profile image
BaronC

I have no memory of my accident or indeed of the hours leading up to it. Although interestingly for a long time I was convinced I could recall some of the events, however these 'memories' proved to be so far wide of the mark as to be impossible. I can only assume my brain somehow implanted false memories in order to fill the gap left behind. Or... I'm talking nonsense.

With hindsight though, I'm not sure I even want to remember. Any event that changed my life to such an extent I am more than happy to leave in the past and walk away from it.

Kirk5w7 profile image
Kirk5w7

Hi, mine wasn't an accident it was viral encephalitis, I thought I had flu,luckily my GP sent me to hospital so I was already there when I went into a coma, my sister kept a daily diary for me til I felt able to carry it on myself as part of my rehab cos I couldnt even write at first but I have kept at it and her diary fills in all the gaps, a Godsend, it doesn't upset me and makes me able to appreciate what my family went through, I owe it to everyone myself included to recover the best I can. Take care love your writings you are an inspiration Janet x

ZombieDen profile image
ZombieDen

I DON'T REMEMBER IT & I'm not too bovered, about it, but I do remember going to the WAITING ROOM, I call it, it's WHAT THE DUDE (GOD), planned out for us, if those things, happened too us???

I remember, I'm a DAD, in that reality, and my wife would of been, this girl back in secondary school.

Cos life is the CHOICES WE MAKE!!!

Well I believe, THE DUDE, took our BAD MEMORIES! Cos we got NO USE FOR THEM???

Tissue1 profile image
Tissue1

I do remember.....in 2007 I slipped and fell backwards out of my bath and hit the back of my head on the way down to the floor.

Six years on I still have mobility, short term memory and executive function problems. However, I was blessed that I didn't break my neck and that the artistic and computer side of me wasn't damaged.

I want bath or shower mats to be compulsory LOL.....

Danslatete profile image
Danslatete

I dont remember the accident. I do emember the wheel whipping from my hand then after that its a bit like snap shots of a coat that someone wore etc. I do remember being in the bath and not knowing if i had washed my hair or if i had to wash it and being so very scared. I have no idea how long it was after the accident but that is the first clear thing that has stuck with me. Its frustrating not to be able to put the pieces together of the first few months and years after the accident because there are some things that remain but so much that i have no idea about. It used to really get me down and i would spend so long desperately trying to remember. It was horrid. Now i try not to think about it.

Flumptious profile image
Flumptious

I fell off my bike, in France, in 2005. I have one *vague* snapshot of us standing by the road, watching the Tour de France, a couple of days before the accident. But I am really missing several years before. I don't remember us moving house, me being pregnant for the second time, having my baby... or the first 6 months after the accident. The accident was in July, and my first memories are of Christmas. I knew I was in hospital, but I didn't know why.

The missing memories haven't come back, but my day-to-day memory is (thankfully!) fine, now. Plus, I am a university lecturer. I have no missing memories there, of all the academic stuff. Phew!

zannyboy profile image
zannyboy

Hi bikerlifestyle, I had for many many years been an avid Motorcycle fan and owned and even raced a great many, however in June 2007 I was asked by a fairly large group of Biker Mates to go to The Nurburgring in Germany for a 3 day boys trip. Anyway on day 3 I was warned by a very good friend to take it a bit more slowly as I was gaining speed with every lap but I of course took NO NOTICE of his well meant warning and set out on my first lap when a couple of corners in on a corner named Galgenkopf I highsided on cold tyres and hit the Armco Barrier very hard the strange thing is it was my bike, an Aprilia Tuono that did all the damage to me as it hit me after I had hit the Armco. Fortunately for me I had just bought a New Crash Helmet just 3 days before an Arai which incidentally broke in half and I am certain to this day that it literally saved my life.I also very fortunately had Full Racing Leathers, Boots and Gloves on at the time which I have no doubt saved me from receiving other injuries too. Haven"t ridden a bike since and really miss them. I still don"t remember owning the Tuono or being or going to Germany although I do have 1 or 2 photos somewhere and I still see my mate Dave that warned me regularly. Hope that this helps and all the very best with your recovery.

kimmy66 profile image
kimmy66

My son has no memory of his assault. He also cant remember the week leading upto the assault. This happened last October, five days after his 18th birthday. They didnt expect him to survive the journey from Fife to Edinburgh. He pulled through thank god. He still has short term memory problems, he finds it very difficult to express his feelings, also has problems spelling and counting his money. He often loses his mobile phone, wallet etc. He has terrible mood swings. He has still a long road to recovery. The team who he sees every week are fantastic. I wished i could turn the clock back for him.

100pipers profile image
100pipers

MY BRAIN INJURY OCCURED ON 4th NOVEMBER2007. I HAD RETURNED FROM A HOLIDAY IN TORQUAY ON. 27th OCTOBER ON THWAY HOME WE STOPPED AT AISDALE SERVICES I REMEMBER THERE A COTTON TRADERS OUTLETAND I LOV COTTON TRADER STUFF. I AM TOLD THAT I RETURNED TO WORK FOR CARING FORTHE ELDERLY FINISHING ON THE MORNING OF 4th NOVEMBER MY THIS IS ALL A BLANK TO ME. MY NEXT WAKING MEMORY IS BEING IN A HOSPITAL BED IN NEWCASTLE GENERAL INFIRMARY.

Pumpkin86 profile image
Pumpkin86

My brother does not remember anything about a year either side of his accident (which happened about six years ago). I'm glad he doesn't remember what happened or the following year as the majority of that time he was in hopsital. We visited him all the time and he was taken care of very well by all the nurses and doctors but I still am glad he doesn't have to remember this as you all I'm sure are aware recovery can feel very slow. No-one was there when he had his accident so we don't know 100% what happened - sometimes I can't think what is worse having seen it and replaying it over and over or not knowing (like me) and sometimes your imagination just filling in the gaps - I try not to think about this as it's upsetting and my brother is doing great in his recovery so I try and focus on the positives! I used to dream about it sometimes but that was closer to the time of the accident when he was still in hospital and he wasn't as stable as he is now.

I think it does make him sad sometimes that he can't remember things from before the accident - but luckily he is still able to make new memories so we can concentrate on the future and doing lots of stuff that will give us more happy memories!

SAMBS profile image
SAMBS

my brain injury happened on 15th March this year. For a few weeks prior I had had occasional rhs groin pain. especially if I stood up and turned quickly. On the evening of the event, I had gone to play darts with friends and felt severe pain up my neck at the back, I think on both sides then I had a severe pain like someone had shot a bolt up my neck. My head went very hot and my arm went very tingly - don't remember which one it was - I then collapsed however I did not lose consciousness and asked friends to call the emergency sapeurs-pompiers immediately and after their extremely quick arrival my doctor also arrived and I was transferred approx 45 kms to hosp. I was lucky I have watched uk tv programmes and heard of severe head traumas and just knew that was ever was happening to me was a medical emergency. I was transferred to a specialist neurological unit in Montpellier the following day and have had 2 stents inserted via the femoral artery in my head via the femoral artery.and then discharged from hospital 26 March. I live alone here in France and and have had no rehabilitation. I have been very emotional and now 3 weeks ago been diagnosed by my doctor as having a nervous breakdown for which I received medication and it has helped. Finding the headway website has been almost he best thing I've done since. Because I live in france there is no physical help I can get from Headway .

nemo_really profile image
nemo_really

No. I remember (or, at least, I think I do ... it was a long time ago) leaving school at around one o'clock and then my next awareness being around five o'clock (for about a minute) then a couple of hours later being in surgery as they stitched my head up. As the accident happened about three o'clock, it amounted to about 2 hours pre- and post- amnesia. AFAIA, and with good neurological rationale, I have never had any memory of the event itself.

ScubaD profile image
ScubaD

I feel for you, you are not making anything up! You are entitled to view and take some copies of your injuries and treatment at the time of injury and afterwards in the hospital where you were treated. The effects can last MANY years, particularly with a severe traumatic head injury! Go on the headway website and look at the effects of a head injury, you will find your truth there, I know I did. Although I went on to get married and have beautiful children, the suffering I felt was not recognised or acknowledged. I believe you, go and find your truth. Good luck.

Leonard68 profile image
Leonard68

It was a beautiful spring morning, I woke up around 8.20 am, could hear mum and dad talking downstairs. I started thinking, what shift am I on today. I was an apprentice fitter in the old British Leyland Plant in Llanelli, which is a few miles from where I was living, in Swansea. I had not passed my driving test yet, so the only way I could get to work, was by motorbike. Anyway, I woke up around 8.30 am, all I could think about was the dream I had the previous night. I dreamt that I had, had a terrible motorbike accident, all I could see was my body under the bus, and of course, I was dead. I could hear dads car starting up, so I thought, I cannot be late for work, as I got dressed, all my thoughts were on the dream, I had.

As I came downstairs, mum came out of the kitchen, she looked up at me, could see something was wrong and said, `Are you alright David?`, I did not want to worry her, so I said` Yes`, she said `No, your not what`s the matter?`, I did not want to tell her about my dream, as I knew she would worry about me. Anyway, she kept on asking me what was wrong, until I screamed out,` I dreamt I had a motorbike accident!`, she looked at me bewildered and replied, `But, David, YOU HAVE HAD A MOTORBIKE ACCIDENT!`, I looked at her, and shouted back `I have not!`, She then said `Have a look in the mirror`, as soon as I saw my reflection, I knew my life would never be the same, the right side of my head was bald, I could see a very large Y shaped scar and in the centre of it, a dent in my skull. I screamed, `What`s happened????`. I had had a very bad accident, A double-decker bus full of schoolchildren knocked me down, The buses front tyre drove over my head. My spine was forced up into my skull, my skull and spine were fractured, I then had meningitis, was in a coma and on a life-support machine. My accident has left me with epilepsy, diabetes insipidus, hearing problems, mobility problems, `SEVERE` memory problems, TERRIBLE headaches.

I have thoughts of self-harm, have NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS, I live in a sheltered housing complex. That's how my life is now.

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