lung cancer.: My Husband was told last... - Lung Cancer Support

Lung Cancer Support

3,999 members2,169 posts

lung cancer.

joeyroe profile image
19 Replies

My Husband was told last Tuesday that he had lung cancer but they said he had to have another biopsy as they did not know what type it is. they said he may need surgery but we could not get any answer from the Doctor what to what will happen next, how long will he be in hospital, how long before he is well and how long will it take. as i don't how how to help him as he wont talk to me, i am his wife and feeling sick and scared and don't now what to do next.

Written by
joeyroe profile image
joeyroe
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
19 Replies
JeanE41 profile image
JeanE41

Welcome joeyroe. I'm so sorry you and your husband are facing this journey. Dealing with lung cancer is indeed a journey. Before any treatment plans can be developed, he will undergo multiple tests including a biopsy, various scans and possibly blood tests to determine the type and extent of his cancer. Treatment will be decided based on the results of all those tests as well as his age and general health. There are many options available today which opens up the possibilities for treatment dramatically.

As caregiver you have the toughest job, but it is very important that you take care of yourself. When seeing the various doctors make sure you understand what is being said. Sometimes it helps to have another family member or a friend with you at these appointments. There is a lot of information to absorb, so be patient with yourself. Take it one step at a time.

Your husband is blessed to have you with him at this time. I hope you get the answers you need and a successful treatment plan is developed soon.

Jean

Cerwin profile image
Cerwin in reply to JeanE41

From experience. Be a squeaky wheel. And keep up with his care. And be sure that he maintains a positive attitude. It’s very important in the fight.

SusieJo1948 profile image
SusieJo1948

please try not being scared i know its hard i had adnoecarcinoma stage 3. i did,nt do radiation did 6 months of chemo,they removed the upper lobe on left side. i,m 5years cancer free. if he won,t talk its probally because he,s scared. tell him about me and have hope and faith and keep on fighting don,t give up. i will be here if you need to talk if you were here you could cry on my shoulder. Every one on here will help you. i will pray foryou two. susiejo1948

Davidatp profile image
Davidatp

Hi, I’m a Stage IIIB NSCLC survivor. It’s not uncommon for things to be messed up for awhile. It can be really frustrating until everyone figures out what needs to be done. Be as supportive as you can and try to be strong. Hang in there and God bless.

David

FtB_Peggy profile image
FtB_Peggy

Joeyroe, Welcome. I am so glad you joined our community, people here have big hearts and hard-earned wisdom. This is not an easy journey as you already know too well, but hope is exploding through research every single day. Please keep talking to us.

I will also private message you. Hugs, Peggy

Ncpoet profile image
Ncpoet

Joeyroe, I know it is frustrating and scary waiting on answers. Testing is necessary to find out exactly what kind of cancer and stage before any treatment can begin. Treatments are getting better every day. I had stage 4 non small cell adenocarcinoma and did only chemo and also Xalkori and Zykadia. I was not able to have surgery nor did I have radiation. Again, treatment has to be for each individual’s cancer. The good news is with all the new treatments, we can survive. I was diagnosed in 2013 and I have no evidence of cancer in 2018. So tell your husband there is definitely hope. You can help him by taking notes during doctor’s appointments and share the positive things you get from posts of people who have been there. Even though your husband isn’t talking right now, that is OK. Hearing the “C” word can be overwhelming at first. Just be there to listen when he does starts to talk. Also, do what you can to take away your own stress. Praying for you both.

Judy

bellaella profile image
bellaella

I had lung cancer 12 years ago.what you are saying does n ot make sense to me. from a pet scan they new I had lung cancer. I was operated on and had a lobectomy followed by 4 rounds of cycplatin chemo. after the operation I was better in about 4 weeks. the chemo took longer. In all it took a year for me to feel completely like myself. I don't know why you need a second biopsy. please don't wait, check into a second opinion. go to a cancer center. good luck

anrean profile image
anrean

Welcome joeyroe! You will find great messages of hope and knowledge here, It is scary to hear the word cancer, but please hold on to hope. The doctors follow a protocol so that they know exactly what they are dealing with. Different types of cancer or different stages can change how they treat your husband. The first few weeks can be especially confusing as the doctors sort out all the information through different tests. Please know that many of us here have lived far beyond our expiration date. Talk to your husband and give him hope in the journey - I am sorry that he won't talk with you but he is handling this the best way he can.

gibdonnalee profile image
gibdonnaleeCommunity Superhero

Sorry your going through so much, Joeyro. We all have our personal journey. Next time your husband sees the doctor, ask him for the answers you are trying to understand. He should listen, if not it's time for another opinion . You have to have faith in your doctor among all things.

I have stage 4 carcinoid lung cancer, middle lobe removed on right lung. It's going on 4 years now. So there is reason to feel hopeful.

Will be praying for both of you. Hang in there and come on here, we all know what your going through and will help in any way we can.

Denzie profile image
DenzieModeratorVolunteer

Give him permission to be angry but remind him that when he is ready you are, and always have been, by his side.

If you can get him to a survivor group that may be helpful. One woman at our Cancer Support Group tricked her husband into going by telling him they required one meeting so she could attend- of course this only works if there’s a Caregivers group that meets at the same time as the patient group. Long story short though, he got a lot out of that first meeting and participated quite regularly.

He may be internalizing and directing his anger at himself and blaming himself for this cancer. He may not be ready to voice his fears-he may never be.

You can only control how you react to any given input. Not how he will react or what will happen with the cancer. Someone mentioned taking time out for yourself, that’s the best thing you can do to help him. Stay healthy.

I had stage 2 squamous cell lung cancer, lost the upper left lobe because of it, but I was cancer free for almost 5 years.

Hopefully once the initial shock wears off, your husband will open up to you. All you can do right now is be there for him.

You already got very good advice. I can only think to add 1 suggestion; my son uses his smart phone to record the conversation when he goes to the doctors. That way he can play it back later and write down anything he feels the need to keep. If your phone isn't an option, maybe get a handheld person recorder?

I don't know if you need to tell the doctor that you are recording the conversation, but my son does tell them.

Antonellac856 profile image
Antonellac856

My doctor didn’t want to wast time with biopsy , I had surgery and while I was under they did biopsy . I hade 4 sections of chemo ,I’m doing ok now. Good luck

MaggieRose13 profile image
MaggieRose13

I went to Moffitt Cancer Center. They were aggressive and treated my lung cancer successfully after I had been given a dire diagnosis by local doctors in Florida. I pray that you will have the same results.

joeyroe profile image
joeyroe

I don't know why my husband's Doctor wants 2 biopsy as it makes it much harder with the waiting. good luck.

fenchurch profile image
fenchurch

Hello,

I had to have 2 biopsies. The first told them what type it was (adenocarcinoma), but they weren't able to get a big enough sample to tell them what treatment I would respond best to as I struggled with the procedure (bronchoscopy). The second was done was CT guided biopsy. They then tested to see if I had any of the particular mutations, as if you have you can have immunotherapy which is supposed to be easier than chemotherapy & is in tablet form I think. I didn't have the right ones, but I am responding well to chemotherapy.

The waiting is hard I know, but I hope this helps.

Amy

joeyroe profile image
joeyroe in reply to fenchurch

I agree Amy the waiting is so hard, my Husband had 2 biopsies and we are waiting on the result we will will get on Tuesday, they could not tell us what type of cancer he has. Did you have surgery my as the Doctor told us My Husband would have to have surgery, As the wife i am so stressed trying to keep my Husband from getting down. since his first biopsy i got so stressed that most of my hair went gray i had to get my hairdresser to put a colour in my hair gosh i never heard of that before.

All we can do is take one day at a time and pray it won't be as bad as we expect, i pray now as i never prayed before.

Best of luck Amy and keep in touch.

margaret.

fenchurch profile image
fenchurch

Hi Margaret,

I found it a little easier once the treatment plan was in place, so I hope you do too.

Unfortunately I can't have surgery as it apparently as is goes across the lobes. So my only option is chemotherapy, but they are also examining whether I am eligible for a trial, as a backup plan.

Do you have a Maggie centre near you? They are a great source of support, as well as being a nice place to go just for a cuppa where you know everyone there understands what your going through. When I was first diagnosed I walked in, & cried instantly, I think I just knew it was a safe space & I had a good supportive chat with one of their advisers. I think Macmillan also have support groups in different areas. There's a lot of help & support out there, & it's worth reaching out, it helps a lot.

Sending supportive hugs.

Amy

joeyroe profile image
joeyroe

Thanks Amy, we don't have anything like that in this country, my G.P. is the only help i get also i have four Daughters and a Son which support me but they have no idea how hard it is for my Husband Paul and me. i have looked on the net to find help for Paul and me but nothing so far.

I wish you all the best and pray that you will get all the help you ned. keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

best wishes,

margaret.

MaggieRose13 profile image
MaggieRose13

Have faith! Are you going to a Cancer Center or regular oncologist? I suggest a Cancer Center. In Florida I received treatment at MOFFITT CANCER CENTER in Tampa, Florida. I still go yearly. I was originally diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable in both lungs.

Moffitt did further testing, gave me aggressive treatments radiation and chemo Immediatly. I still pray everyday that it won't again rear it's ugly head.

Get the best help possible and have faith 🙏.

You may also like...

Recurrence of lung cancer?

with after the lung cancer misdiagnosis and subsequent ( but late ) Lobectomy! I had to go to the Dr

Lung cancer

ya'll know how long it takes to start seeing results from being on Keytruda. My husband, who was...

Lung cancer

all One year ago I was diagnosed with lung cancer in my left lung the lobe superior to be exact. My...

Liver cancer and now suspected lung cancer

back from the hospital. I would like to know how long did it take anyone with lung cancer for the...

Lung cancer stage 4 and treatment

told me about this group and said she seen someone had posted about lung cancer and is on the same...