Am I wrong - just want to live?

Hi,

A dumb question that I can write as I don't feel comfortable asking out loud to any one who has lived like us. Stage 4 lung cancer which right now I'm on maintenance chemo for. Today is the monthly support meeting of our local lung cancer support group. Last month I went for the first time. I had just found out about this group. No one else came and I told my "life cancer story" to the social worker who leads the group. I just don't want to go and talk about lung cancer and see people (if they show ) who aren't as weary of the disease as me. So my question - is it ok to take a break from thinking and actually verbally talking about cancer and just try to live? I appreciate this outlet and all the great folks who blog here and work for Health Unlocked. You all have helped me a lot. I don't feel alone any more. I want to continue to communicate here but not in person. Anyone ever feel this way?

20 Replies

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  • Mary,

    Your feeling is completely normal and understandable - it seems like after a while, one's life can become all-lung-cancer-all-the-time and that your forehead is branded "LC patient". I remember joining a volunteer group where no one knew me and not disclosing that I have lung cancer, because I wanted one place where no one thought of me as someone who is sick. (I have since disclosed and, to be honest, have become closer to my fellow volunteers than I was.)

    Take a break! Then you can decide how immersed you want to be in the subject after you have breathed some LC-free air for a while.

    Anita

  • Thanks Anita. I appreciate your input.

  • Great advice Anita. This would be a great blog topic at some point, maybe in some form of HOW to get away from it.

    I've heard this more than once; those touched by LC tend to be enveloped by the disease in almost all aspects of their lives, and it can end up being fatiguing. Taking a break is not only normal, but is encouraged.

  • Added to my topic list, Travis.

  • Cancer, whatever it's form, can take over our lives. We all need a break. You might find joining a group that participates in something of interest to you where cancer does not have to be a part of the conversation. Then you can choose how much and what you want to share about yourself in your own time. I found this in a church group that meets weekly to knit and crochet projects to donate to various missions. It provides a fun way to contribute and socialize.

    This is such a great place to vent or get support or information, so I hope you continue to post.

    Hope this helps.

    Jean

  • Thanks Jean it did help!

  • See I'm just the opposite I get on here when I need to discuss cancer or feel that I'm not alone in my daily life I barely seldom talked about the cancer I mean it does come up in conversations but I don't Focus my life around it people ask how I'm doing I let them know and I change the subject to something that we're all interested in

  • Thanks. I like what you wrote!

  • Mary, I agree with stutheit. We can control our own perspective with our battles. My relationship with God has helped me tremendously. I know not everyone's cup of tea, but it helps me cope with my condition and those inquiring minds !!

  • I'm the same way. Alot of people know I have it and ask me how I'm doing.....I give the update and move along to what else is going on.

  • Thanks. Appreciate your comments Kenny1108!

  • Absolutely! Everyone gets tired of talking about the same thing over and over. Our cancer stories are no exception. You should feel free to talk about it or not talk about it as you see fit at any time. And focusing on living your life should always be the number one priority.

  • Your feelings are yours - there are no right or wrong feelings. I've had 5 primary cancers, and went through the first three without a support group. The fourth was an overwhelming blow, and I joined a cancer support group that was for all different kinds of cancer and it was very helpful. Now that I have lung cancer, I don't want to go to a group that is just for lung cancer. Don't want to go without support, but do want to get away from just lung cancer. I've known my dx for a year now and until recently the support wasn't important - I wanted to take time to digest this beast on my own first. One of the things I noticed in support was that some people were faithful to being there every week, and others needed to take it in small doses and sometimes back away. A good support group will understand that some people can only take it in little doses while others can go all in amd still make you feel welcome. I wish you the best, whatever you decide. It is your life, and you can only do the best you can at the time.

  • Beautifully said everyone! I agree, your feelings are normal and you should trust them, do what you can when you can. There is no one way to do this!

  • Not a problem whatever brings you comfort.

  • Not a problem whatever brings you

    Comfort.

  • Yes, it seem like cancer takes so much I will not let it take my peace. No one knows what you are going through it may be close but everyone is different. Live like you never heard the word. You can't live if your every waking moment is worrying about what if.

  • Thanks. That is what I'm doing.

  • YES!

  • At my cancer support group we laugh a lot. We talk about all aspects of recovery including when to mention our cancer and when not.

    Should you find yourself alone at this meeting again Use what you have written as a springboard for discussion.

    Remember: cancer is what you have, not who you are.

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