Am I wrong - just want to live? - Lung Cancer Support

Lung Cancer Support

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Am I wrong - just want to live?

Marymac4441 profile image
23 Replies

Hi,

A dumb question that I can write as I don't feel comfortable asking out loud to any one who has lived like us. Stage 4 lung cancer which right now I'm on maintenance chemo for. Today is the monthly support meeting of our local lung cancer support group. Last month I went for the first time. I had just found out about this group. No one else came and I told my "life cancer story" to the social worker who leads the group. I just don't want to go and talk about lung cancer and see people (if they show ) who aren't as weary of the disease as me. So my question - is it ok to take a break from thinking and actually verbally talking about cancer and just try to live? I appreciate this outlet and all the great folks who blog here and work for Health Unlocked. You all have helped me a lot. I don't feel alone any more. I want to continue to communicate here but not in person. Anyone ever feel this way?

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Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441
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23 Replies
scifiknitter profile image
scifiknitterBlogger

Mary,

Your feeling is completely normal and understandable - it seems like after a while, one's life can become all-lung-cancer-all-the-time and that your forehead is branded "LC patient". I remember joining a volunteer group where no one knew me and not disclosing that I have lung cancer, because I wanted one place where no one thought of me as someone who is sick. (I have since disclosed and, to be honest, have become closer to my fellow volunteers than I was.)

Take a break! Then you can decide how immersed you want to be in the subject after you have breathed some LC-free air for a while.

Anita

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441 in reply to scifiknitter

Thanks Anita. I appreciate your input.

FtB_Travis profile image
FtB_Travis in reply to scifiknitter

Great advice Anita. This would be a great blog topic at some point, maybe in some form of HOW to get away from it.

I've heard this more than once; those touched by LC tend to be enveloped by the disease in almost all aspects of their lives, and it can end up being fatiguing. Taking a break is not only normal, but is encouraged.

scifiknitter profile image
scifiknitterBlogger in reply to FtB_Travis

Added to my topic list, Travis.

JeanE41 profile image
JeanE41

Cancer, whatever it's form, can take over our lives. We all need a break. You might find joining a group that participates in something of interest to you where cancer does not have to be a part of the conversation. Then you can choose how much and what you want to share about yourself in your own time. I found this in a church group that meets weekly to knit and crochet projects to donate to various missions. It provides a fun way to contribute and socialize.

This is such a great place to vent or get support or information, so I hope you continue to post.

Hope this helps.

Jean

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441

Thanks Jean it did help!

stutheit profile image
stutheit

See I'm just the opposite I get on here when I need to discuss cancer or feel that I'm not alone in my daily life I barely seldom talked about the cancer I mean it does come up in conversations but I don't Focus my life around it people ask how I'm doing I let them know and I change the subject to something that we're all interested in

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441

Thanks. I like what you wrote!

tubguy profile image
tubguy in reply to Marymac4441

Mary, I agree with stutheit. We can control our own perspective with our battles. My relationship with God has helped me tremendously. I know not everyone's cup of tea, but it helps me cope with my condition and those inquiring minds !!

Kenny1108 profile image
Kenny1108

I'm the same way. Alot of people know I have it and ask me how I'm doing.....I give the update and move along to what else is going on.

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441

Thanks. Appreciate your comments Kenny1108!

jpoehlmann profile image
jpoehlmann

Absolutely! Everyone gets tired of talking about the same thing over and over. Our cancer stories are no exception. You should feel free to talk about it or not talk about it as you see fit at any time. And focusing on living your life should always be the number one priority.

anrean profile image
anrean

Your feelings are yours - there are no right or wrong feelings. I've had 5 primary cancers, and went through the first three without a support group. The fourth was an overwhelming blow, and I joined a cancer support group that was for all different kinds of cancer and it was very helpful. Now that I have lung cancer, I don't want to go to a group that is just for lung cancer. Don't want to go without support, but do want to get away from just lung cancer. I've known my dx for a year now and until recently the support wasn't important - I wanted to take time to digest this beast on my own first. One of the things I noticed in support was that some people were faithful to being there every week, and others needed to take it in small doses and sometimes back away. A good support group will understand that some people can only take it in little doses while others can go all in amd still make you feel welcome. I wish you the best, whatever you decide. It is your life, and you can only do the best you can at the time.

FtB_Peggy profile image
FtB_Peggy

Beautifully said everyone! I agree, your feelings are normal and you should trust them, do what you can when you can. There is no one way to do this!

pmsusan99 profile image
pmsusan99

Not a problem whatever brings you comfort.

pmsusan99 profile image
pmsusan99

Not a problem whatever brings you

Comfort.

Livingnow profile image
Livingnow

Yes, it seem like cancer takes so much I will not let it take my peace. No one knows what you are going through it may be close but everyone is different. Live like you never heard the word. You can't live if your every waking moment is worrying about what if.

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441

Thanks. That is what I'm doing.

cloft profile image
cloft

YES!

Denzie profile image
DenzieModeratorVolunteer

At my cancer support group we laugh a lot. We talk about all aspects of recovery including when to mention our cancer and when not.

Should you find yourself alone at this meeting again Use what you have written as a springboard for discussion.

Remember: cancer is what you have, not who you are.

jmanoudakis profile image
jmanoudakis

Hey my name is Joseph manoudakis, and I just found out that i have stage 4 lung cancer nsclc, on 11/6/17. I was at work, when I had a seizure and had to go to the hospital. While at the hospital, I had another seizure and that is when they found out that i have stage 4 with 2 tumors on my brain as well! I'm only 36 yrs.old and never had to be hospitalized for anything ever! I feel where you are coming from. You can hit me up if you want to talk anytime.

FtB_Peggy profile image
FtB_Peggy in reply to jmanoudakis

Good morning, Joseph. Thank you for joining our community - this is a really great group of people, so don't be shy about asking questions and sharing your story. These folks are the experts. I am so very sorry to hear about what the diagnosis you recently received I hope you know you are not alone.

Our organization provides educational materials and resources free to anyone with a diagnosis of lung cancer, or anyone who loves someone with that diagnosis. If you shoot me an email with your address, I would love to send you our free Patient Information Kit and email you some of our resources.

So happy to "meet" you!

my email: pbezruki@freetobreathe.org

Marymac4441 profile image
Marymac4441 in reply to jmanoudakis

Hi Joseph. What's happened since you got the diagnosis? I'm so glad you joined us. We are all fighting to beat cancer and live a quality life. Please email Peggy for she has great information. I find out end of this month if I have scar tissue or brain tumor is back. I just live one day at time. All I can do. Please write if you want. Marymac4441

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