caregiver to my husband who has SCLC extensive

My husband was dx in Jan 2016 with small cell LC, had 4 rounds of chemo, now on a clinical trial.

I'm pretty much on my own, all my family o/seas. I have been caring for my husband for a different illness, neuropathy in his legs for over a decade or so. Because of this illness, he's already been withdrawn socially a fair bit, and with SCLC, it really can't get any worse. So no family around, no job, living on damn centerlink.

I'm not getting any support besides some fortnightly tel. support group, or anti f'ing depressant pills from GP. Not taking them, it's like sweeping the dirt under the carpet.

How is everyone else coping?

I'm from Australia.

8 Replies

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  • Vivi, I'm sorry you feel alone. I am new to this community but the people here are some of the most amazing people I've ever come across. They make you feel not so alone in this battle. May you find some comfort here, as I do.

    Lucy

  • I'm so sorry that you feel so alone.

    I found this link to a website offering some connections to caregiver support in Australia - maybe you've already checked it out, maybe it will be helpful. comfortkeepers.com.au/famil...

    Taking care of yourself is not sweeping problems under the rug, it's keeping yourself as strong as possible for both yourself and your husband. If the anti-depressants help without making you feel like your personality is suppressed, they are a tool, not a crutch. My husband/caregiver is on anti-depressants and our family doctor stresses how important it is to both of us for him to keep himself together and functioning as well as possible.

    Wishing you well and I very much hope you find this community to be helpful.

    Anita

  • I can't add anything more to what's been said. I'd like to reinforce what Anita said about taking care of yourself. Its impossible to give someone good care when you are depressed yourself. If you tried the meds and they didnt help try a different type. This is not something you have to take for life and its for reasons like this these meds were developed.

    Also diet is extremely important for both of you. If your body is getting the nutrients you need you may find you achieve a balance sooner and can give up the antidepressants sooner. Healthy diets feed the brain and the body.

    You wrote that you are reliant upon Centerlink for your survival. Your budget must be extremely tight. Please don't not eat something your body needs for nutrients just because you can't afford organic.

  • I live in the USA. I was the sole caregiver for my husband during his journey with non-small cell lung cancer. My heart goes out to you across the miles.

  • vivi6121 Hi!!! I'm a caregiver for my husband since day he was dx on May 2016 with Adenocarcinoma stage IV and Met on his Lympho nodes chest, no candidate for surgery,he was so healthy and it is a changed from day to night. Also I'm a caregiver to my daughter she is 23 y/o Cerebral Palsy and Intellectual Disability, non verbal, no walking, she depends 100% on me. And if this isn't enough... I'm also having a Cronic Illness Venous Statist, Venous Insufficient as a result of this Varicose Ulcers on both ankles (so painful)...as I'm writing still healing. They closed and got open again whenever they want. It's is hard and painful I've been living like this since I remember, without any help... I have a boy as well 9 y/o perfectly healthy always trying to do everything he can because I went from can to wheelchair and vice versa, but it's not his responsabillity,...with all this I just learned that God is there for ME, I got his help on any way I needed and that He's there for me always. I know for sure how are you feeling right now, just keep God with you,He is there even things are getting ugly, believe me. If I can do it I'm pretty sure you can otherway God wouldn't choose you!!!...I hope all this help you somehow , you are not alone this is a great community, I've learned so much from them. God bless you and your husband too, everything happens for a reason, our mission is discover it!!!

  • Hi vivi6121,

    I have never been in your situation as a sole caregiver to someone with such a terrible disease. However I was also recently diagnossed with small cell also so I do know how it feels to suddenly be doing everything out of necessity instead of desire,and how overwhelming that feels. I think a person has to almost put on an alternative personality and try to change as much about their daily routine as possible in order to not be overwhelmed by all the things that are slipping away. In the middle of it all you will hopefully find it's not impossible just different. I am very sad to hear you have no family close to support you, but know everyone here are always good for conversation and info for your journey. And always remember there is nothing on this planet stronger than the will of a determined woman. I will always believe my grandmother was the strongest person I have ever known.

    Positive thoughts and healing,

    RW

  • You are carrying a lot! Depression means your stress hormones are too high - the medications are just to help your chemistry right itself again. If you tried them and they weren't effective (can take up to 6 weeks to tell in some cases), let your doctor know; you can try something else.

    Please try to take care of yourself too through all of this - take time to listen to music, try yoga or meditation (there are free relaxation videos and guided imagery on line), watch a fun movie - whatever gives you some sense of peace.

    I know this is a terrible time for both of you, and I am so sorry. Please keep in touch.

    We are glad you are here, and sharing with this community, hopefully you'll feel less alone now!

  • Hi vivi6121, my name is Annete I'm 49 from Penrith, NSW. I'm currently caring for my mum who is stage IV non small cell lung cancer with cancer mets to liver, bone and fungating lesions on her chest which require me to dress for her daily.

    I know how hopeless things can make you feel when you don't get good support or just someone to talk to , so far I've not been offered any help or much advice. I was an only child so I have to do all mums caring and at times, well a lot of the time I also feel very alone and frightened. I know what I'm in for and it's very frightening. I lost my husband to cancer and was widowed at 37 with 3 kids.

    If ever you need someone to talk to I'm here

    Annette

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