Today I wake in pain after a broken nites sleep, after my right knee twisted on wed, on my good leg obviously nothings simple! I've been having to depend more on my 2 elbow crutches, so now my upper body including my frozen shoulder(Which I think is arthritis) is pure agony! I think ahh well I'm at docs today, only my doc is on the first floor, I suffer severe complex PTSD following a fall down a flight of concrete steps sorry if there is a missspelling I must typed that bit fast andnow wont re read it, I went up in lift with my hubby door opens and I start to panic, slowly at first then it increass to the point I'm on the floor hyperventilating and crying hysterically thinking I'm going to die. Doctor was fantastic calmed me right down (ish) I was still shaking violently through the appointment which was meant to be a monthly check on my fibro and other things, ended up with him telling me the most urgent thing is the PTSD, I understand what he's saying but I want the pain levels and meds discussed and sorted more,,! The thing is tho I totally avoid being in a situation when I can see or come across the offending things, to the point I dont watch tv anymore! I feel zo desperate and dysfunctional, useless, lump of pain, I think I need to book a flight to switzerland!!! Not happy, and scared of my own actions, never felt like this before! X
And I'm only 33 yrs old can I really face god knows how many more years of this horrendous, no quality of life of pain, panic, fatigue, and attempted sleep!