Anyone Out There ??

[Smudge91]

I was just wondering id there were any other young Fibro Sufferes and if there were how to lead a 'normalish' life as i find it vert difficult - I am 22 but feel as if i should be dead. I save most of my energy for work so when the weekend comes up i usually just stay at home in bed or on the sofa, when people ask me to go out i um an err about it because i WANT to go out and enjoy myself get drunk and dance all night long but i feel like i have to think what i am doing the next few days to make sure i have a clear calander and i am also afraid of incase i fall over or hurt myself but i am also scared if someone sees me from work and they are like oh ok you couldn't lift a box at work but you can dance ??? and look as if i am fooling everyone around me. This has really been getting me down lately i have lost a lot of friends in the past couple of years becuase of this (have only been diagnosed with but had it for years). As i have a issue with my spine aswell i am unabke to wear the shoes i want and i LOVE shoes, which means if i do go out for a nice meal and a drink i have twice as much effort to make as i am in flats and not the tallest person in the world. Any Advice/Tips would be really appreciated. Many thanks SMudge

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Hi smudge91

We do have younger members on the forum my love but I don't think they are about at the moment.

I am sorry you are struggling. Everyone needs time off and a chance to let their hair down. I think you need to get out and enjoy yourself. Stop worrying that you may see someone from work or you may fall,,and enjoy yourself. So what if you do see someone from work, they are out having fun and so should you. Having a dance is a bit different than lifting boxes. We all may fall but if we are careful we won't. Having flat shoes isn't so bad is it? There are some lovely flats about and if you are not on heels that lessens your chances of a fall.

If you are worried how you will feel, go out on a Friday, don't over do it, just a couple of drinks and a little dance maybe? You'll then have Saturday and Sunday to get over it. If it goes well you can then do it again the next Friday but stay a little longer and build yourself up. Don't let it beat you.

Stay strong.

Love n hugs Karen xxx

[trae]

Hi im 25 and I seldom go out now (though I would love to) and when I do it's usually a meal and karaoke so there's no pressure to dance, unless you want to. Also I've joined a few social groups. Down side is I'm the youngest, upside is that the grannies at the groups are very sweet and empathetic. They seem to enjoy mothering me, saving my seat, making me a cuppa etc. And personally im just glad to be out the house. I know it's not for everyone, but even a meal with friends can seem a huge accomplishment x

[klm7777]

Hey girls I'm not sure if I'm classed as young still but what the hell- I'm 29 at the mo had probs since I was much younger - it is very difficult to balance fibro and a social life and I'm not sure I've conquered it! I have tried many tactics trying to keep up with everyone else doing everything they did didn't work for me and doing nothing made me very lonely.

I think everyone has a mixed bunch of friends- those that understand and will make the effort and those that won't. I have recently realised I can't live in isolation and I can't and don't want to go clubbing etc all the time either so I am tending to go to places like pubs and bars where there is seating now, I will wear my pretty shoes but sometimes I sneak in some flip flops for when I actually can't take any more it's a saviour! At least going out to pubs etc gets me out socialising and I'm not in isolation - every now and again I might go out to dance too but I do what I can and leave early or take a break when I need to.

I actually haven't explained the ins and outs of fibro to work as I tried once before and they weren't exactly keen to help or listen and understand what it actually was, so since I started this job I haven't really made it known apart from on my occ health form. I explain sometimes to my boss this is making me sore and I am lucky she is nice and doesn't make me do anything which will trouble me (I think she's just a nice person anyway!)

I don't think they should judge you for going out unless they are watching you all the time and see if you take a break or not - and anyway if anyone questioned me I'd probably say it was tough and that I had sacrificed myself a bit to improve my mental health!

Just recently I found a website called meet up- which is about doing just that! There are a group of ladies in my area of varying ages and we meet up to go for food the cinema trips out and lots of other things- it's been a great find as I can pick and choose things that suit me- that might be an option for you! I also joined the clandestine cake club and I'm off to my first meet up soon :).

I guess what I'm saying is sometimes you have to force yourself up and out to see people but its worth it - you aren't meant to be alone and it's not good for your mental health to live in isolation. Sometimes you have to change your friends and realise some of the ones you have are fair weather friends and therefore not worth their weight - the ones that stick are the good ones.

I don't know if this helps or not and its just what I do - try not to get down about things as I have been guilty of doing and see what's out there maybe in places you never thought to look.

Take care xx