Does anyone ever feel like "piggy-in-the-middle"?

This seems to happen to me quite often -- there is some argument or disagreement between family members (nothing to do with me!) but somehow I always seem to get "dragged" into it and I am expected to "take sides" (usually with my hubby), Last night at the dinner-table my husband had a minor disagreement with my son (who ended up taking his dinner plate away from the table and eating elsewhere after he had been shouted at!) Then my husband got angry at me because I had not taken sides with him -- it is sooooo difficult for me because I find any confrontation difficult to deal with so I try and stay clear of conflict. I also hate to feel that I am supporting one person over another (that "piggy-in-the-middle" feeling!) My husband was still angry with me this morning coz I had not supported him, (why cannot he just not "move on"?) and now I feel soooo upset and miserable and the worse thing is the disagreement was nothing to do with me --- but I am the one who ends up feeling rotten and is if it was me that did something wrong!!! Any ideas how I should handle this without feeling sooo guilty myself??? xx

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  • ohhhh yes im no longer married but have 3 grown up children and am constantly not only being dragged into things but then being made to feel like it is my fault this has happend quite alot recently and ive been getting what i can only describe as anxiety attacks which make me feel unwell its like having a big black cloud following you round and a feelingof unease just waiting for the next drama i understand completly how you feel xx

  • Hi phlebo

    have you tried talking to him about how unfair he is being ?

    you could say that you are not playing piggie in the middle anymore

  • grrr wrong button again

    anyway , your hubby is an adult and should act like it not like an angry sibling at the dinner table.

    you say "my son" is he not your Hubbys ? he does sound a bit insecure

    why do they see things as a competition in love ? we have more than enough love to go around

    you have done nothing wrong , just tell them to pack it in , it may shock them into silence

    i would also have a rule no argueing at the dinner table

    take care xx

  • Constantly but normally when my three daughters who are 16, 19 & 21 start to bicker. It makes me so made as I lost my sister in a house fire. But still they argue

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