I know in my heart what I need to do, to muster the strength is something else.
On a better note I got a phone call today about a studio in the sheltered accomodation, one has come available and there is a gentlman in line before me, but its a positive step I suppose.
At 55 I didn't think I could still be so scared of change.
I have no friends as such and I have an Aunt who deeps telling me "Well its better the devil you know", sadly she has been very unhappy for fifty years of her fiftynine year marraige.
I cant muster a positive thought at this moment in time, Im a sorry example of a human being.
Again thank you all for your kind words.
Lots of soft hugs