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[Melini]

Is anyone there, I'm usually positive upbeat even though many a day I can barely walk. I'm so frustrated because people have expectations of me when I cannot accomplish. I'm trying so hard, today my every ounce of energy is used up breathing, my fatigue is all encompassing, pain like fractured joints and burning muscles. I know if I can talk to someone just now ill pick up, nobody to talk to in person, I look well, people don't understand really x x I'm too shattered to even write a poem which is my usual outlet

[Hidden]

Hi Melini, so sorry that you are feeling horrid just now. I have had a bad weekend too health wise and as my OH is away I have been a bit low myself. I am hoping to feel a bit better tomorrow as I would love to try and get a few more bulbs in the garden before it starts raining again. Feel free to PM me if you want to. Jane x

[Melini in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much, I pray that tomorrow you manage to plant some bulbs xxx. Not sure how I PM so ill try figure out just now x

[Hidden]

Oh bless you Melini, you must feel poorly if you don't feel like pouring it all out in a poem. We are all here for you, just pop in whenever you feel like it. There is always someone around all through the day and night. You aren't alone here at FibroAction that's for sure!

I hope you manage to get some good rest tonight and that you feel a bit better in the morning. We all understand, we feel the same from time to time.

Hopefully you will feel like posting another one of your masterpieces really soon for us all to read and that by typing it all down, it will be cathartic for you too.

Here's a hug for you Melini, take care. (((hug))) xx

[Melini]

Thank you both xxx this curse does challenge us. I managed to muster enough energy...

Silent scream

I detest what is happening

What I've become

I detest that my life's stopped

I just want to run

I detest that I look well

A smile on my face

I detest the intense pain

Fybromyalgia in place

I detests the exhaustion

A weakness you don't know

Things I took for granted

My emotions so low

I detest that I cannot drive

My much loved car

I detest that I cannot travel

A few mile, not far

I detest that I struggle

To pick my grandchildren to hug

I detest keep explaining

To be met by a shrug

I detest the experience

Of relying on all I can

I detest having to ask

Please cook, lift a pan

I detest that an iron

Or kettle I cannot pick

I detest the Fibro fog

That makes me appear thick

You know on a good day

I might achieve more

Maybe ten steps

Before collapsing on the floor

You know on a good day

I will try to complete

Getting up, bathed, dressed

AND Putting socks on my feet

You know on a good day

To work I will try

An hour anialates me

My energy high and dry

You know any extra

Energy I use

Results broken bone pain

Muscle ache and confuse

You know every day

I push through this pain

Fighting to find energy

Making me feel insane

So please do not

Make requests of me

When pained Leave me quiet

When fatigued Leave me be

So please do not

Increase any pressure

Stress free Is what i need

Relaxed Sedately leisure

So please understand

When alls said and done

That I too want my life back

I too want some fun

So please consider

As your frustration grows

I cannot physically accomplish

Even temper I cannot throw

So please recognise

Behind this pained face

That I'm frustrated too

Silent scream words replace

Mel Isherwood

4th November 2012

Off loaded xx tomorrow another day

[Hidden]

Well done Melini, another masterpiece already! We can all relate to your words I am sure.

Get some rest tonight, so pleased you off loaded, hopefully you will sleep now.

Take care, onwards and upwards. Tomorrow is indeed another day! Here's a well earned hug for you (((hug))) xxx

[Melini in reply to Hidden]

Thank you and a gentle hug back xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Melini]

Bless you! xxx

[Dixiesdaughter]

Awwwww poor melini hope you managed to catch a break get some restful sleep and have awakened to a less painful day. Your poetry is so emotive and puts into words our pain and the daily struggles we face living a life with fibro. Your talent is amazing and I hope it gives you strenght & comfort to know how much your poetry inspires and gives joy to many of us on this site. Take care I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. stay positive!! Soft caring (((((hugs))))) winging their way from belfast

Dixie x

[vikki]

ow wow what a fantastic poem melini.........hold on in there and keep your pecker up.....loads of well wishes sending your way.

take care of you

vikkix

[sue57]

Oh, Melini, how awful that you're feeling like this. I empathise completely honey!! Just today I went out with my daughter, her partner and my baby grandson and I was a little worried about the distance I was expected to walk. I got about a quarter of the way around the store, with my walking stick, and I thought I was going to collapse! I made a quick (!!) getaway back to the car......and safety!! It's an awful feeling isn't it??

I must say your poetry is wonderful and a great reliever of your annoyance!! Have a gentle hug honey XX

[Melini in reply to sue57]

Oh sue I know, it's awful. I couldn't leave my apartment for five weeks as couldn't get down stairs as live first floor. Now I have the pleasure of owning I little mobility scooter, not quite as comfortable as my car... My 2 year old granddaughter loves standing between my legs as we scoot round town saying 'brum brum beep beep'. It's this joy that enables big smiles xxx. Hugs to you, hope you are feeling a bit better this evening xxxx

[Melini]

Thank you everyone, I'm pleased to say today was brilliant! Slept just two hours last night, and went to work this afternoon. Might seem madness but my work is my brainchild, a company with my husband supporting people in their own homes. Our care coordinator and I went to review a customer, a happy customer indeed. My colleague became my hands as she wrote and I spoke, the office team wheeled me round and I felt I really achieved. Shattered now, hoping for lovely sleep tonight. Sometimes I got to reach rock bottom to find the strength to get up. Thank you for your lovely messages, gentle hugs to you all xxxxx

[Hidden]

So pleased for you Melini! xxx

[hamble99b]

you write from my heart, thank you.

[Melini]

Gentle hugs Sandra x