Lost DLA appeal. I am struggling ment... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Lost DLA appeal. I am struggling mentally to deal with it.

louiseelcross profile image
30 Replies

Was up all night before appeal because I was so nervous. Needed to win so that I can put heating on because I am freezing and in pain. Raynauds, fibromyalgia, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, vit d deficiency, depression amongst other problems, are all taking toll on my body. Exhausted I struggled to walk into the room aided by a stick and my son. Result of being up all night meant back was in terrible pain. I was there for an hour and half and squirmed about with pain throughout. I told the truth! I have more days than not, not being able to stand to walk. I cannot use my hands through winter because they become frozen, stiff and painful. like marble. I cannot use them to dress or undress. turn a tap on or off or hold anything. I cannot even clean myself after using the loo. (i can tell you that horrendous fact because I will never have to face you.) I lay in a darkened room day in day out, yr in yr out because i am in so much pain and cold. I have not eaten a meal in months. Tea, toast and jam, choc biscuits and cakes are what I live on. I am in pain and exhausted because I have insomnia. blah blah. been like this ten years on my own. Reason for refusal were things like, "you look well, have you always been so slim?" "Your hair is lovely must be difficult to wash." And this one which I love. "If you are so ill and struggling so much, how did you manage to put such a brilliant report together?" I said, "I dont know but I did"

I have fought this for two yrs. I have done nothing else because I have been in bed trying to control pain and cold. I told the truth and it was obvious I was struggling bad but apparantly I look ok.

Anyone else going through appeal, good luck.

I feel too low to do anything

fighting my case has been only reason I did not finish it a while ago

Now I am scared, lost and confused

Sorry for rant but needed to get it off my chest.

Hope you all have a happy painfree day x

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louiseelcross
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30 Replies
stormwytch profile image
stormwytch

Poor you I don't have reynards but I am always cold do I really feel for you. I really hope you get your DLA on appeal cos you need it. Wish I could send you some heating.

I can send you healing

Storm x

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to stormwytch

unfortunately that was the appeal Storm. Legal team saying they cannot go any further with me so I am on my own now. Determined to find strength to fight it. Right too weak and ill to do anything. I am too cold to think straight and its not even winter yet. Need to pull myself together. Thanks for your message and the healing. x

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

sending you a hug for surviving a horrible day. did they say you've lost?

regards,

sandra.

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to hamble99b

I knew I had lost when I saw a look on their faces change. Got a letter couple of days later. Now I have to wait for their reasons for refusal. Solicitor says let it go now cos I cannot keep appealing and them pay. I have no choice to appeal and argue my case because I am in serious trouble here on my own and need help physically and mentally. Thanks for comment Sandra. x

nanatre profile image
nanatre

I read somewhere that if you turn up clean you fail, if your hair is brushed, you fail, if you turn up with a pet, you fail, if you turn up with a little one, you fail. Its wrong, so wrong.

Please dont give in, is there anyone near you that can help? MInd? CAB? Welfare rights? WHere abouts are you? THere has to be someone to help you with this.

Please please dont give up. Would your doctor not help at all?

Grrrr this makes me so mad.......Grrrrrrrrr

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to nanatre

I have not eaten for months other than the odd chip and toast and jam. I have vit d deficiency as well as everything else and they said I looked well. I had not been to sleep the night before and did not even wash my face. Did not want to act as if I wash everyday because I am too low to bother. In the winter months I do not even shower because I have no motivation and its too painful and hard with solid frozen stiff fingers. Not givin in yet though. Been fighting this two years. Made a double appointment with my gp next week and hopefully get some help. Grrrrrrrr! I agree. Its maddening and not doing health any good. Thanks for comment Nanatre. x

Louise feeling your pain and understand so much, I was knocked back too, so I have a lot of similar feelings as you, have you no one to call to comfort you, reassure you, I'm useless at giving advice, so I hope you get better as in cheer up and be determined to fight them again, I will never understand their heartlessness, disregard for the weak, seek and feeble, God forgive them, because I find it very hard to, take care love, hope you get someone to help you, I think there are societies that dont think twice in helping people, I had to phone the St vincent de Paul the day before Christmas eve last year, to ask them if they had a washing machine going spare because the DWP had written to me saying not to worry about my dla I would get it all paid back to me, so I thought I was getting it that was the 2nd last time I applied for it, I was horrified when I got knocked back 2 weeks before Christmas all my money had run out and I couldnt do with out a machine before Christmas. Two ladies visited me, and said of course they could supply one, and did I need electricity or gas or food, I declined graciously greatful for their help, best of luck pet and let us know how you are, there are may generous societies there just willing to help, also maybe if you had a social worker on your side, maybe they could speak up for you and say you need help? (dont know how to get one myself, but they can do wonders I heard), Take care love wishing you well xxxxxxxxxx

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to

I am sinking into debt just trying to pay my heating bills. I am paying back bills for the last 2 yrs since they stopped my dla. Cannot survive on my ESA and be warm. Desperate that they listen to me because I have been telling the truth about my difficulties. Thanks Clairebm x

foggyness profile image
foggyness

Hi Louise - I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling so badly.

DLA can be a nightmare I know, but I was given some advice by a friend who suggested that instead of using the CAB for assistance I should use community legal assistance. I googled it, found a list of solicitors who are able to provide advice and help with paperwork for appeals and tribunals if it has to go that far. I had never heard of this service before, but as long as you are in receipt of benefit they are willing to act on your behalf - they cannot, however, attend the tribunal with you. Just thought it might be worth you giving this a go, it sounds like you have nothing to lose.

I hope that you are able to sort something out and get at least some of the issues resolved.

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to foggyness

Hi foggyness. I have been using a legal team for last two yrs because been too ill to go CAB. The legal team now telling me to let it go as I have appealed twice before. I will not let it go. How can I let it go? I am stuck in doors, in my bed desperately trying to stay warm and reduce pain. Some days I cannot walk and in winter cannot use my hands because I cannot heat my flat and keep it at a temperature that will stop me freezing. I have no choice but to find a way of carrying on. Thanks for comment foggy. x

in reply to louiseelcross

Bless you... what about your GP.. a letter stating your illnesses,disabilites.. and earlier you stated that you had DLA and was taken away.. what were the reasonings for that..? Look at those reasonings and challenge again.. appeal against the appeal.. this is just not right.. I am so sorry .. do you have any close family to help you or a good friend? Sending hugs x

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross

Hi Lacey. I have made a double appointment with my gp to find out how this situation got as bad as it did. I told the panel that I had an coronary angiagram and I was told by the hospital the problems with my heart were as a result of not taking my Thyroxine regularly. Panel looked disgusted in me as if I made it up. They said they had not been told that and dismissed that bit. Been on DLA since 1998 because of my difficulties. My difficulties are much worse these days because of the pain and stiffness. If it were not for pain and stiffness and struggling to stand I, could get a job. If it were not for my hands freezing I could get a job and I would be better off in a job but its not going to happen.

I am not giving in just yet and will appeal if its possible for me to. If not I will write to mp or somewhere. There must be something I can do. I have no family but my 17 yr old son who is computer addict. Bless him! Always there to lift me out of the chair or off the floor when I get stuck but then he straight back on computer. My only two friends in this world both died in the same yr. That`s the yr I got as ill as I am. So although I have had all these conditions for over 25 yrs, the last 6 yrs have been horrendous, since they died. They would want me to strong and I know i will have to be, when all I want to do is get in bed, have a serious good cry and then sleep til summer.

I cant do anything but try and rest over the wk end. After that I will brace myself for the next battle.

Thanks for popping in lacey. x

nicely profile image
nicely

oh i wish i could help you dont give up its disgusting my heart goes out to you get on to shelter see if they can help you, you cant live like thatxxxx

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to nicely

Aw thanks nicely! Its so good to know there are people out there that understand. I am questioned myself over the years and even at one point tried to convince myself that I was not in pain and struggling. I got on with things because I have always been a hard worker. Now I cannot get on with things and fighting dla to have enough to live on is not good for my conditions. I am strong today though. I cannot afford to live so might as well carry on appealing. Thanks for caring nicely. x

chilli50 profile image
chilli50

Hi Hun

I really feel for you and what you are having to cope with. I don't have many suggestions for you so I hope this will help. I was told about a website called turn2us.co.uk so I had a good look at it. It's a list of charities, hundreds of them and also alot of other useful info on help and advice. You can choose to fill out a small questionnare if you want or just look through the list. If you do the Questionnaire it will give a list of charities that will help you and a way to send a requests to them. Each charity has different critera and also info on what they are willing to help with. Some will only help with the bills, some will only help those in a certain area, others only help people who have worked in a certain profession. That kind of thing. There is bound to be somebody on there who can help, even if they take pressure off you in a different way that will help you to be better off financially. Even ice it doesn't help your current problem, it may be able to come up with something else you can do or people you can approach for much needed help. I've used the site before and it was the best thing I did. To cut a very long and complicated story short my partner and I are bringing up 2 grandsons as their parents couldn't cope. Their dad was in the army at the time. I live in a small 2 bedroomed house and the boys were sharing a small bedroom. Can't for my life remember who but somebody put me in touch with a group called ssafa and I was visited by a lovely lady who was very easy to talk to explained the situation, financially crippled, living in a house that wasn't suitable for small children and desperately trying to sort things out. She referred me to the British royal legion and I spoke to them in detail. They offered me a tax free loan (ok it's still a loan) of £25,000 and would even pay more at their discretion. I was over the moon t say the least, which I decided I wanted to spend on an extension on the side of the house. The ground floor was going to be a dining room or a wall knocked through to the kitchen and upstairs would have another bedroom and the bathroom made bigger. I got the quotes in as the extension would cost more than 30,000 then I just had to wait. Then I got an eviction notice. As there was substantial arrears on the mortgage and also a loan I've got. Iwas panic stricken I can tell you! Went to court 2 weeks later thinking I was going to be homeless and saw a woman from the cab who was representing people that day. Asked her advice and she agreed to come into the room with me and present my case. I had told her about the legion and how they were helping me. I spoke to the person who I was dealing with and the next thing I know he had agreed to clear the arrears and stop the eviction. I couldn't take it in! Unfortunately the extension wont happen for the next few months as they want to know that they aren't going to give me the loan, I have the work done and then get evicted so it's on hold at the moment. Since that 1st hearing I have fought off 4 more on my own and am starting to sort things out financially so we can go ahead and get the extension up. It will make lfe much easier when the boys have their own space!

I'm sorry about the long post but I wanted to let you know about the website and how it helped me stay in my home and give these poor boys security. It's a very long story how they ended up being raised by my partner and me. They came here when they were so young 2.5 year old and 13 month old and have been here 4 years ago last month. I won't go into it now though, another time maybe. Life has been so difficult these last 4 years with serious illness and several deaths as well as all the other things we have had to deal with and still are. I'm very thankful that I've had such great help from the legion and ssafa with the extension and paying my arrested because if it wasn't for them we would have lost our home. I got this help from them incredibly, coz the children are here and their dad was in the forces otherwise I wouldn't have got the help as I wasn't entitled. Social services were involved with the boys too and among other things they did they paid for and fitted a brand new boiler as mine had packed up and it was Xmas time. They too were amazing and solved a problem I couldn't have sorted on my own. It came to more than £4000.

What I'm trying to say is don't give up, coz there will be somebody out there can help you. It mite be unheard of by you at this moment or something you never thought of doing will get you the help you need. At the time the boys came here to live I was pretty I'll from some surgery I had which had got infected with a from of mrsa. Six weeks after that the boys arrived. I had to leave a job I loved and a career that would have made me pretty good money if I had finished the training, partly coz of illness n partly coz the boys needed to be looked after. My patner was a casual worker and had no hours. The social services organized money for food to go into my account weekly and that's how we lived for 6 months until the benefits finally came through. It was such an awful time and it hasn't improved I'm many ways but all the help I got and am still getting was what has got us through this far and will keep doing so until the important things like the extension is finished. Maybe you will have to shout loudly until you are heard but you will be, I'm sure of it!

I'm so sorry about the length of this post Hun. Take a few days to read it all if you need to I've said alot. You will get what you need, it might have nothing to do with the problem but it will help you in a way you didn't expect and the situation will improve speedily and steadily.

I'm thinking of you Hun and hope that what I've said helps you in any way but mostly where you need it.

Right, I'm finally feeling sleepy so am gona try get a couple of hours Kip. They boys r up at 6.30 almost every morning n if we leave them to play for more than 5 minutes they are fighting, the noise is unbearable and they trash their room and they NEVER sleep in. Still not complaining. When they first came they had no sleep pattern, would dose off round midnite and be awake again by 4am regular as clockwork. Getting the boys Anne having the surgery was what made the fibro flare so bad. I think I've had it 20 year as when I look back now I had some of the symptoms but I was fit annd strong due to my 2 jobs as a lifeguard and working in the hotel gym and could manage at that time. The infection in my wounds was what really kicked the fibro into top speed.

I'm gonna go now coz if I don't I'll write more and I think I've done plenty already lol

Your boy sounds like a wonderful person by the way and you both seem very close. I'm glad about that.

I hope you managed to warm up and get some sleep. Take care of yourself.. Make a hot water bottle ring and wear it where you need it. You will get warm....I suffer with reynauds and my feet turn into ice blocks freezing cold and numb. Even if I'm dripping with sweat everywhere else I feel freezing through to the bone and the only thing that seems to help is a bath when I'm like that. I hope this is useful to you Hun

Love and gentle warming huggles

Chilli 50 xxxx

Ps. Please have a look at the site and let me know how you get on

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to chilli50

Bless you Chilli! I really appreciate everything you have said and I will look into charities until I win this benefit back.

It cannot be easy for you looking after the children and I feel for you. I am fortunate that all my children are grown now except for my son. He does not need much looking after or at least I am saying he doesnt. I still try and look after him best I can and feel guilty when I cannot. He tells me he is grown now and that I should stop worry. Easier said than done when I can see he would rather be on computer than feed himself.

I have qualifications that would have been a brilliant career if it was not for these problems that I have. Gone from promising career and my own home to a tiny little flat where I live in a bed in the kitchen. i have a bed in kitchen/diner and have an electric blanket on 24/7 so that when my body temp drops dramatically like it does I can just jump in quickly and warm up. Madness really. I have been in bed for 90% of my life for the past 3 yrs. I think there is probable something else going on other than fibro, raynauds, arthritis and the rest to make me feel as bad as i do and is messing with my ability to stand up some days. i have booked a double appoint next week to find out what is going on with my body and to get some help with dla.

I wish i had a magic wand cos I would wish for all the support you need to make your life a bit easier.

I admire your strength and determination to raise those children and wish I had grandparents who could have taken me on cos I used to think the constant abuse I took from my ill mum was cause of my problems. I wrote my life story and put it on hubpages while I was waiting for dla appeal. Did me the world of good getting it off my chest but it was hard work trying to write it as i freeze and stiffen up quickly when I try. My body also seizes up and I need help to stand after a writing session. The appeal said if I could write my story I cant be that ill. Not a lot I could say to that at the time. Tried explaining writing saved my life but they not interested, if u can type for a few mins a day u not that ill attitude.

Anyway I will stop or you too will end up with a book to read.

Love to you. x

FionaP profile image
FionaP

It is so disheartening to read how you have been treated. There is more support out there for you. If you have not yet please try these.

Contact Social Services and ask for an assessment for help at home, maybe even Direct Payments (Google it) To employ your own Personal Assistant.

I have one for 24 hours a week and would be struggling just like you without her.

Contact your local council to get number or connection to Tenant Support. It does not matter if you have your own home or social housing. They will give you a support worker who can help with appeals. Check for special funding Anthropological societies in your area. I had assistance many years back with clearing bills and getting conservatory re roofed, they paid the bill so not a loan. Tenancy Support Worker will stay with you until all your issues are sorted, reviewed at 6 months. Mine has been more precious than gold in sorting housing, benefits, landlord and so much more. People/Departments tend to listen to their opinions too as they fight for you.

As you are on benefits and disabled you will qualify for an energy plus care account status with both Gas and Electricity. Call them right away to get your tariff changed. They will then arrange for any arrears to be taken at a slower pace to help you. Energy plus care is because disabled are at home, not mobile and so need more heating. Exactly what you need.

Message me if I can give you any other info or you don't understand some of it.

Keep fighting no matter how hard. You will eventually win through and this time will be a horrible memory.

Gentle hugs and best wishes xx

chilli50 profile image
chilli50 in reply to FionaP

Good info. I wouldn't normally want a loan and wouldn't apply but the situation meant I had to take the help where offered out of a kind of desperation because of the boys. I'm also lucky in the fact that this is an ex council house that I've bought and the prices were only just starting to rise paid half of what they valued it at at and also £25,000 reduction in price for the length of time I've lived here. That meant that as soon as I signed the papers I had earned myself £50,000 and so and a good amount of equity in house. It's now nearer 75,000 but I only get that if I sell n I won't get another mortgage easily. It's also the only thing that I hve of value and probably always will be. If somebody will help financially without it having to pay it back it's much better, I'm just lucky that I have the value in the house to cover it and didn't worry about how it would be paid back. A grant or the likes is a much better option.

Love and huggles chilli xxx

FionaP profile image
FionaP in reply to chilli50

You have done so well. I know how much I struggled and If I had to do it all now know I would not cope alone. Was really grieves me is that this info could be passed on from our doctors/nurses even hospital appointments. How much would it take for specialists to have a small leaflet for those becoming disabled. I am lucky that I have no children to look after and all credit to you. I hope they are blessings to you for the rest of your life.

You will qualify for Disabled facilities Grant if you need adjustments made to your home and also a normal Grant for any works not disability related. Check these out with your council before spending out any more, the equity in your house is not considered. They are means tested so majority of us (on benefits)would not have to put anything to it. I had a lot of work done in 2007 including ceilings, roof work shower, 2 stair lifts, wash/dry toilet plus more and only had to give £660. Wish I was still able to live there now but it got too much and ended in my bedroom for last 2+ years :( Best wishes xx

molkosmissus profile image
molkosmissus in reply to FionaP

just wanted to say...theres a lot of help ideas here...hoping they will help me too...thanks x

chilli50 profile image
chilli50

I won't expect a speedy reply Hun, it's gona take you WEEK to read all that. It's a flipping HUGE post!

:-D

I've forgotten to say that there are several ways I can pay back the loan. I can pay it like a normal loan, if I sell the house and also can leave it until I die and it will be cleared when the house gets sold. All because someone told me about ssafa. I had never even heard of them and even if I had I wouldn't have known they could help. A totally unexpected source of help. Don't give up Hun. There's one charity on there that will help with a weekly sum of money and it's for a while if not permanent. Can't remember the name though. It could be called the elisabeth Finn something or other. Also check that you are on the lowest rate your provider offers. They usually have a tariff for people on low money. Also most major utilities companies have a way of helping with the cost of bills. This is usually a grant system which will greatly reduce or even clear the arrears and it doesn't even have to be the company you use sometimes. My water boars have a system which, if you get into arrears with them, they will agree a manageable payment and if you manage to keep the arrangement up to date they will clear the rest after 12 months. I was a couple of grand in arrears and it was agreed that if I paid a certain amount every month without fail, they would wipe my account clean and I would be debt free and could start again with a clean slate, and that is exactly what I did! Google it too, you never know where you will find what you need but you will and that's what's important. Try to get annoyed about it, not too bad though lol. It gives you that sheer bloody mindedness n determination to get sh1t sorted and even though it's an effort, it will be worthwhile in the end xx

blue-eyes profile image
blue-eyes

It's outragious the way you have been treated and left in dire poverty. What are they thinking of? My heart goes out to you and your boy, though that's not going to help you much. I'm so sorry you are in this situation and really wish there was something I could do to help. but for theGrace of God, it could be me in your shoes. Please don't give up. Like all the other posts are saying, there must be someone that can help. What about the Salvation Army - if only to ensure you both get a warm decent meal each day. This should not be happening to anyone in this day and age. And it shouldn't be happening to you. I am so angry for you even though I know that won't help you either. Please keep going and don't ever give up. I firmly believe that everyone gets a piece of luck in their lives at least once. Hopefully, your turn will be very soon.

Take care and keep fighting....we're all behind you. xx

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross in reply to blue-eyes

Thanks blue-eyes. I did feel like giving in because my appeal took two years and I was exhausted and did not want to carry on. I have my son to think about and so have to carry on. My rheumo prescribed morphine patches because tumours in stomach irritated with any pills. My dr says no to patches because they are black listed in my area. I am going back to gp this morning to see what help they can give. Also, my legal team say that they cannot help me any more because already had two appeals. They sent me some information about how forms should be filled and thats going to help greatly. I am working on my appeal now. Working on appeal scary because the panel said that I put together one of the best appeals they had ever seen. If I could put together such a good report how could i be so ill. cant win. I am either too attractive or too clever to be ill now. Never thought that the way I look, which I have always been lacking in confidence, has gone against me. Surely they cannot judge me on my looks and intellegence as they see it.

Each appeal have insisted that I look well even though I have not eaten, apart from odd meal, in over two years. Lady on panel said, "your hair is lovely", and when she said that I could have cried. My hair is very long and in a mess really. I look and feel a mess but they disagreed. I cannot help the way I look. At 52 I have been confined to my bed for almost 3 yrs and eat nothing but toast and biscuits but look nice. I have to laugh really because there is hope for me and maybe a future relationship if I dont look as bad as I think I do. Been on my own for a lonely 12 yrs now dealing with this. Did not even brush my hair on that day because I would not normally brush my hair because I struggle to do it its that long. Should get it cut but would cost at least 60 pounds that I dont have. My niece says on the next appeal she is shaving my head as I look to good, shabby chic she calls me.

On my way to doctors now so back soon to let everyone know what happened.

Thanks for support blue-eyes. Have yourself a lovely day. x

blue-eyes profile image
blue-eyes in reply to louiseelcross

Hi Louise,

How are you this week? Any luck with the morphine patches? I don't know where you live but it seems to me it's got to be one of the worst areas in Britain when it comes to GP care and Social Services. My GP gave me the morphine patches even though I'm nowhere near as ill as you. I do have Crohn's though, which stops me taking any anti-inflammatories (Ibuprofen etc) and other pain killers. All I can take is Methotextrate (for Crohn's related arthritis), Amitryptilne (for the Fibro), the patches with added Paracetamol (and sometimes Codeine) for the pain. Not a lot but it's all I can take. And I try to hold down a full time very busy job. I'm not sure if it's because I immerse myself into my work and therefore it helps to take my mind off my pain and medical problems, that I am managing to carry on (even if it is at a slower pace). Or more likely, I just don't have the fibro as bad as you and a lot of the other fibro-bloggers - for which I am very grateful (sorry, that sounds harsh - it's not meant to be though).

I know what you mean about being told you look so well though. I think it's all the drugs we take that must be giving us our "youthful looks" and wonderful skin and hair. I get people telling me all the time that I don't look anywhere near my age (53 next month) or that my skin looks glowing with health etc etc. What a shame my body doesn't feel like that. Sometimes I feel 153!! But I do have a wicked sense of humour which helps. And being around other people and trying to be "able" like them makes me stronger and more determined not to give in to this horrible condition. I wish I could do it for you too.

Take care and keep on fighting.....xx

hugosmum70 profile image
hugosmum70

Hi, i dont have fibro but my son does. i am elderly andas my son gets worse i worry about jow he will cope as time goes on and im no longer either here or unable to physically help. i am disabled in a lot of ways but still able to do a little.but mostly i help him financially in spurts as needed. however my funds are getting low. i myself need new sprcs and other thinhgs which are on hold right now as he lives in a flat and has been told to get his flat cleaned up or the housing will send someone in to do it for him and will charge him/ we know that if they do this it wont be cheap.plus it will happen again and again unless we get it sorted now and find him the help he needs.i can help in this present crisis though j i know no more money can be spent as yet as im already into my overdraft facility yet it costs me in taxi fares £14 return each time i go to his.and in order to help get the place cleaned up i will have to go far more often than i can afford to., hes in a first floor flat and its getting harder for him to get up and down the outside stairs, ive given him my old tumble dryer and dishwasher. just paid for the latter to be installed. his vaccuum cleaners (he has 2) are both overheating and cutting out. his table top washer has also gone and hes been trying to wash in the bath. not good .ddnt tell me all these things had given up on him till he got told he had to clean the place up. ive spoken to his estate manager about all this. new man in new job, new broom syndrome it seems who obviously didnt listen when my son told him he had fibro and all the probs that caused. he listened to me though. i made sure of it.,got his word they take away his extra rubbish after we have done his cupboards out of which he has 2 walk in ones.without charge. am going to contact social services to get him some help if i can., was interested in your link chilli50...turn2us.co.uk but on going to it i got the following message:-

This premium domain is for sale!

so i shall read on to see what other help is available for him.

thanks to everyone for "baring your souls" on here. its helping me a lot to understand what my son is going through. just wish i had age on my side, more energy and less disabilities.

hope everyone gets the help they as individuals need xx

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross

Aw hugosmum. Sounds like your life is very hard and stressful and I really feel for you. He does sound like he needs extra support and social services are going to be the best way forward. They should assess his needs. Also have a word with his gp to get him to community mental health team or someone and they will send him someone to visit him as extra support.

Turn2us.org.uk is the proper address of site and chances are you will get help from one of the charities on there. Good luck.

I wish you all the best hugosmum.

sending you love. x

circuitrunner profile image
circuitrunner

A lesson for one and all from your comments - next time anyone goes to be checked - DO NOT WASH HAIR - PUT OLD CLOTHES ON - DIRT IN NAILS. It has always been a known fact for many people that when you go for healthchecks or doctors etc you bath - put clean clothes on etc etc. It is called trying to keep your self respect. DO NOT BOTHER

circuitrunner profile image
circuitrunner

OH GEE I was responding to the person who re-appealed and failed - louiseelcross.

circuitrunner profile image
circuitrunner

I have had fibro many years was advised by a friend to have MRI done doctor was not interested. Fortunately, with help I went privately and as I HAD SUSPECTED it was not just said in the worse of terms. Turned out also got degeneration of the spine. Specialist forwarded ltr to doc. told him what had to be done. I am now on morphine patches and masny other meds. Pain specialist said there was nothing they could do. No other advice was given. Now in the process of seeing doc to make an appt with neurologist as there ops that can be given to help the spine even I know that. So be careful if you have suffered over many years they will put everything down to fibro. What a lousy illness for everyone who suffers fibro try and keep strong damned hard I know. It is totally reliant on the likes of us to fight for better recognision. At least it is a recognised illness in the early years it was not and many doctors still do not believe in fibro - what right have they to think this when has been medically proved.

lynnh profile image
lynnh

That is disgusting Hun, the whole system is immensely flawed, Hope you mange to get some help from the suggestions on here x

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