I got shouted when I was parking my c... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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I got shouted when I was parking my car in disabled bay

luvyrself profile image
29 Replies

Hello fellow Fibrofriends.

I have newly joined the site. I was so upset cos when I parked my car in the disabled bay to go to the chemist, cos I was really not having a good day, a lady starting shouting at me about why I was parking there and there's nothing wrong with me.

I was so upset, I got a panic attack and sat in my car, until it subsided, and then I drove home somehow.

I never use my badge, unless I really have to and it's so unfair, just because one can't see Fibro, do they really having to be some rude and judgemental?

Hope you're all well. Gentle Fibrohugs to you all xxxx

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luvyrself profile image
luvyrself
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29 Replies
sheelagh profile image
sheelagh

This happened to me one day I was so cross

I told the MAN . Why Do you need 2 head or something.

He walked away with a red face lol

I have learned the hard way to stand up for myself

(easy to do with a stranger NOT family)

luvyrself profile image
luvyrself

Thanks for replying sheelagh. I'm glad you didn't let him upset you.

You know what it's like, one day you feel confident, the next you're so sensitive about everything.

I hope you get a good night's sleep - Oh that's another blog lol! xx

luvyrself, (love the name)

Blinking cheek, some people have some front. What right do people have to treat people like this and who made her the blinking blue badge warden!!! Obviously a no all no nothing.

Oooh makes my blood boil.

You use your badge, as much as you need hunny, that what its for.

Take care hun. x

luvyrself profile image
luvyrself

Ahh thank you Lou.

Your post made me laugh thank you so much, and you're right, I should use it when I need, but it's days like this that make me feel like a phoney,

I hate this insecurity, when I usually love talking to people, but I did really let her get to me.

Take care too xx

marion932 profile image
marion932

The last time I had a similar problem I was told in impolite terms that I had no right to park in a disabled bay as I was too young! I just replied "I'm sorry, but where did you study for your medical degree as you must have one if you don't agree with my consultants diagnosis"

Some people are just so ignorant and rude. There is no way I would abuse the blue badge system, I'm a medically retired police officer who got the original injury that is suspected of being the cause of my fibro whilst on duty attending a burglar alarm!

Best Wishes

Xx

Cleaner profile image
Cleaner

My daughter had the same happen to her untill she got her disable son out of the car to put him in his wheel chair the woman didn't no ware to look, she just walked of red faced. It just makes you do mad when Peaple judge you.

sparkledust profile image
sparkledust

I haven't got my blue badge yet & I'm worried.

When I used to take my dad out, he would drive himself while he still could, we had trouble. Dad had terminal cancer.

My favourite retort from dad after a woman & her friend were tutting, huffing and then said to each other "Well he looks ok" to which Dad said rather loudly "So do you, you can't see stupid".... I was crying with laughter.

xx

Ermintrude75 profile image
Ermintrude75 in reply to sparkledust

Love your dads reply

joseph profile image
joseph

Hello people i'm new to this site to I have the same rude comments and stares from ignorant people who do not know what illness is like all I do now if they stare at me is stand there staring right back they soon scurry off as for comments I ask what is your problem to which again they scurry off although I did have one woman when asked what her problem was she answered you I had done nor thing wrong yet she had a go at me I get really upset about this one woman as i also suffer with depression some days you can cope other times you just want to rip there heads of problem there is I do not have the strength keep your spirit up and look after number one lol carol

westgate profile image
westgate

Morning all!

ive had this too! I actually under my breath dare people to have a go at me cos they clearly need to be educated!! i usually say 'its not what you can see on the outside.....'

I dont mind confrontation at all - like marion932 i am a police officer retired on medical grounds!!

Dont forget to slap on the suncream folks!! xx

fifty profile image
fifty

peopleare jealous because you are more of a person than theyll ever be for one clown there are 5 nice people hugs

poppy-03 profile image
poppy-03

just tell them when they can spend a day in your shoes then they would be entitled to have a say me bets not many would last an hour !

I used to have similar things happen to me untill my need a a wheelchair but dont ever be a fraid to use your badge its not worth struggling and wearing yourself out

HUGS POPPY XX

gentlerain profile image
gentlerain

Mainly people just want to embarress you and draw attention . A nice polite answer is : And its your business because : just look at them and wait for a answer usually throws them . One day my husband was very rude and said to a young lady you dont look like you need a blue badge and she replied I have 2 false legs do you want a feel , he soon apologised . Then had a telling off from me lol

I got myself some little cards through vistaprint to hand out to people .... with information about my CFS and Fibromyalgia. The didn't cost much much its lovely to be able to just hand ignorant people something to shut them up LOL.

My card says

I have Fibromyalgia and C.F.S

Exhaustion not just tiredness

Mobility Limitation, with pain and breathlessness

Sleep disturbances and anxiety causing nausea, migraine and poor concentration

Pain, anywhere and everywhere, but often around my neck and shoulders

Dodgy temperature control

Food sensitivities, causing light-headedness, abdo cramping and fainting

Just because I look ok....doesn't mean I am !

I keep cards in my purse to hand out if I need to....

I think your situation would have warrented handing one out. LOL

I must admit though I usually feel like putting on a limp when I use my blue badge LOL

stepper x

Sassi profile image
Sassi in reply to

Hi stepper, what a clever idea! I am going to pinch it, I hope you don't mind!! I will tailor it to my specific issues so it won't be exactly the same. But like suejayjay said it is a brilliant idea for beginning to explain to people what fibro does to us all.

Hugs to all Sassi

Eule profile image
Eule in reply to

What a fantastic idea Stepper, I hope you don't mind me stealing it.

Sending a very gentle hug ((x))

suejayjay profile image
suejayjay

That is a brilliant idea stepper. Not just for people who challenge your use of the Blue Badge system, but for all those people who really don't know what FM is. I often tell people who ask me what is it? to Google it and let it describe it's self. Might not fit my symptoms 100% but I suffer from enough of them for others to get the picture. X

Wenjay profile image
Wenjay

hi

Dont let idiots spoil your day, We all know how hard it is to get a blue badge. if you are entitled to it you should not be worried what others say, They are the ignorant ones.I find myself getting odd looks when I park in disabled parking, i just hope the same muppets are around when i struggle to get back in my car after a short walk, and that I can get my door open wide enough to wriggle back in my seat as my right leg wont do what I want it to. Just yesterday I had an argument with a woman who came out and told me to move my car after I had parked it in the only disabled parking space in front of the office I was visiting. I had my blue badge displayed on my dash but she wouldn't have it so I turned it over and showed her my photo which happened to be the same as the one on my ID card! Her face was a study. When I went in i complained at reception, they were mortified and were going to follow it up. You are entitled to use your badge whether it's a good or bad day for you so please do not be put off from doing so. I have found one of my biggest challenges to be people who are not badge holders parking in disabled spaces and I have no qualms about politely enquiring if they can display their badge, and if none is forthcoming asking them to move after i have shown mine!!

luvyrself profile image
luvyrself

Thank you so much to you lovely ladies who have made me feel so welcome and not feel so alone.

I love the different ways you have all dealt with it, and I'm going to use them too.

Tomorrow is going to be another hot day. Maybe we should all meet up and take up all the parking spaces somewhere, and let anyone dare say anything to us LOL!!!

Thank you again and take care everyone

Gentle hugs xxxx

soulsusie profile image
soulsusie

I was saddened to read your ordeal luvyrself, how ignorant so many people are these days, it really is a poor show. These blue badges are given for a reason, and boy do we have to jump through hoops to be awarded one!!

Take care,

Soft Hugs x x x x

luvyrself profile image
luvyrself

Yes, you are so right. Just filling out the forms was a nightmare.

As if we wouldn't give anything to not even be in the system, and go back to our dear healthy ways.

As people tell me, it could be worse, at least it's not a life-threatening illness, and yes I know they're right, but there seems to be no end in sight to the frustration of being this person.

I have accepted my self, but it doesn't stop me having bad days when I just want Fibro to disappear.

I want to be able to run around with my granddaughters and play endlessly with them.

I want to spoil them in a way I couldn't my own kids, cos I was too busy working, cooking, cleaning, blah blah and all the other things we have to do to raise our family.

I wish I'd chilled out more with them cos they grew up so fast, but no, I thought I had to do everything for everyone and saying no was not an option,

What a fool! Where are they now?

Sorry, I've gone on, it wasn't my intention, but it really does feel good to get it out for the first time.

Thank you for making me feel safe enough to do so xxxxxx

nanaanna profile image
nanaanna

The whole lot is total madness, wish theses so called good-doers could walk a day in r shoes they would soon change their attitude. I'm 45 and get stares and dirty looks all the time 4 parking in disabled bay but worse 1 was I was out in town yesterday just 2 meet my daughter 4 coffee. I got out of car and started walking 2 coffee shop only 2 b accosted by angry passerby who started shouted at me firstly 4 parking in shopping bay, she seen I was on crutches and started complaining bout me abusing the system. She said u can plainly see theres nothing wrong with u, using crutches 2 fake bad back, yet another drain on r tax system. I was so embarrassed and mortified I started crying and went back home. When I told my hubby he was so angry firstly with himself 4 not coming with me (hes usually always with me 2 help me) and secondly with woman in town. I was so upset I cried off and on most of day. Must admit a lot of it was feeling sorry 4 myself 4 having this illness and asking why me. Thankfully hubbys been great and has tried his best (as always) 2 stop me sliding in2 depression but just wish sometimes others would think b4 they speak. U never know whats wrong with people r what kind of mental state they r in, some people just need 2 learn if u cant say anything good dont say anything at all. Gentle hugs 2 u all xx

luvyrself profile image
luvyrself

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience.

Its hard when depression gets hold of you too.

Take care and warm wishes xx

Bless you i have had glares but as yet no one has said anything to me but when and if they dio i dont know how i will react probabaly badly as i am like you i am considerate if it is a bad day which 99% are i do park in the bays but if i am not too bad and only need to park for hour or under i will park in the same area but mnot use my badge but i hate it i had elderely couple pull up behind me yesterday and they were lovely they said to me these are handy arent they i said yes but i wish i did not have one they said well you only get one if it is needed my dear so dont worry i thought that was nice love diddle x

KEH85 profile image
KEH85

Im alway getting rude remarks and stares and I luv the comment about two heads haha. I remember one incident when my kids were little. I parked a little way up from the school on yellow lines and two motor bike cops came over to me and asked to see my badge. We had a huge argument because they asked me to park quite away from the school and let the kids walk together on their own. Mykids were 5 and 8 at the time. I said I wouldn't let them do that and stood my ground and still parked there. I got so much abuse because I didn't look that bad to them. I went straight to the police station afterwards and made a complaint. Bloody cheek they should no better being in authority. X

purpleblossom profile image
purpleblossom

hugs back, I still haven't got around to applying for my disabled badge but I know I need to as I keep needing to park by the chemist/in the disabled spot and the lady manning the registry office car park at my sister's wedding was sooooo rude to me when I tried to explain that I can't walk for more than a couple of metres! Please do use your disabled badge, it's what it is there for. And if anyone is rude, think of a few curt one liners (i like the suggestions above) to shut them up! We get enough aggravation from the pain and and the difficulties from the condition without other silly people adding to things .

chrissy30 profile image
chrissy30

I would have shoved my blue badge in her mouth and told her to take a running jump and then tell her that I had to go through health tests and letter from Doctors/specialists etc to get my blue badge as they are not handed out like sweets! B cheek. Don't let anyone speak to you like that love.

bluebell10 profile image
bluebell10

oh my god! how can some people be so rude & nasty! there's just no need for it is there? i have just got the form to apply for a badge, a couple of weeks ago i got a dirty look off 2 old ladies, they sort of looked at me then my stick, i was waiting for them to say something, i was in a lot of pain & felt like wrapping my stick round their necks, i feel embarrassed enough as it is..it's the coming to terms thing,i can't help feeling bad about myself for being like this,as it is a stick alone is very often not enough. sorry for coming off the badge subject i didn't mean to, it just sort of rambled out. i will apply for my badge ive had people telling me for the past few years to get one & i love all your answers to these nasty ppl, take care x

Julesubu profile image
Julesubu

Just show the badge and ignore my friend had a heart condition so got one but looked fine, will always be judging people about x

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