Fibromyalgia Action UK
38,765 members51,025 posts

"You're looking well - are you feeling better?"

I know people mean well - but really it is a bit annoying - because I am looking okay - never really stopped 'looking' well - but why oh why do people assume that you must be better?

It's frustrating and disappointing to have to keep saying, 'no ... actually I'm not feeling better - just because I don't look ill, you cannot imagine the pain, the fatigue and general feeling like you've been through a tumble dryer on cold!' It always makes me feel like people don't 'believe' that you are ill and doubt the authenticity of your fatigue or headache or sensitive pains. I know I should stop worrying about making others believe that fibro is a real condition with real consequences and I am not just skiving - nor is it in my head.

I have been ill for months but only got my diagnosis in March - and I think I am struggling so much with the external view of my illness - my friends and family mean well by saying how well I look, but I need some acknowledgement that I may have good days and less good days and awful days - and do you know what? I rarely look any different!!

I at least know so many other suffers have the same experience and this is the one place that it is acknowledged .... thank goodness for this supportive {community ... <3 xx(

Suzy ... sparkling (a bit) effervescing with frustration! hugs to all {X0X}

4 Replies

Frustrating Suzy I must admit. I have given up replying now, I just say yes I'm not too bad and leave it at that.The people that know me well know when I am having a bad time though and I guess thats what matters most. Take care, Love Angela xx


hi i so much agree wiyh you i look ok oo lol you know what i nmean some days i look tired but apart fom that i look the same so it is annoying when someone says that ans you are in so much pain and can hardly stand lol love to you diddle xx


i just had to go up the high school for my daughter it was options evening ,had to take my stick which i hate ,and i saw this lady that i havnt seen in a long time

i got the " oh what have you done "

my usual reply "nothing ,i have fibromyalgia "

then she says "whats that "

i then exsplane in a quik reply the best i can

she then says "well you look good on it "

OMG ! its not somthing ive taken you numpty !

well ofcourse i didnt say that i just smiled sweetly and walked away lol



Its very frustrating indeed and drives us all up the wall at some stage or another,

but I've found a reply that may suit you as it works for me every time, and makes me feel so much better, my reply to, "oh dont u look well" is " I've been working on my disguise" or if I'm really cheesed off that day I'll add a special "I actually feel damn awful" at the end it

Now either the other person doesnt know what to say (for a change its not me feeling that way) or they actually care and take notice of how your actually feeling

I'm to the point where I'm sick of worrying what other people think, then again its easy to say that, if I'm honest it depends how I feel that day really but I do try my hardest to say sod them, its me I need to worry about, but I find that very difficult with family

Good luck, give the disguise a whirl and chin up hun xxx


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