I just want to say Thank you all so much for your comments and support.
My blogs are so long at the moment as i think it helps us all to understand each others stories.
Although still in a lot of pain (doesnt help i have psoriases and they have really flared up lately due to me being depressed, and now my head is itching soooooo much) but although i dont feel like mixing/talking to people i have managed to do the few dishes, put a load wash in the wah and dryer, and i did pop in my neighbours but she is under so much stress with her grown up kids i didnt stop long. I am ignoring everything else and played some comp games, gonna go for a nap now i have finally eaten something but certainly nowhere near as bad as yesterday.
I am afraid i cant rely on my family at all though.
My son is a typical 21yr old, he buries his head in the sand where peoples illnesses are concerned and he is going away on friday for the weekend.
My youngest daughter, works, looks after her father a lot, has 3 kids, deals with her household and trying to arrange her wedding in June, she lives 150 miles away so cant really help me.
And my eldest is in long term hospital care herself with personality disorders.
I have 7 brothers and 4 sisters and not one will come help me (thye have their own problems etc- their words not mine- we are not a close family) and my parents cant stand me so even if they could they would never be there for me.
But it does help to get it off my chest on here you are right and i do appreciate the fact you all are supportive and dont mind me constantly moaning.
You have become like a big family to me so i do thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Once i have seen my records i am going to try change docs, i cant change surgeries unfortunately as i can only just manage to get to this one the others are so far away and also you have to stay in the catchment areas.
Well im off for my nap.
gentle hugs for everyone.