Giving Up Work: Hello all, My name is... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Giving Up Work

Evietime profile image
6 Replies

Hello all,

My name is George. I’m 60 and an ex smoker. I have worked all my life, but now I’m struggling every day. I am currently off sick because of my pain.

I have had pains all over my body for quite a few years now, but in May, the pain seem to hit me like a ton of bricks . I would not consider myself as old, but after the last few months I’ve been feeling really dragged down. I’ve not been officially diagnosed, but I’m getting referred to a specialist.

My pains usually appear in random areas, and travel across my body. My doctor first thought it was arthritis, because I do get joint pain, but he was wrong, because my joints are perfectly fine.

The most severe pains are located in the muscle areas of the arms and legs, which stop me from moving around and doing every day activities.

I tick all the ‘symptom’ boxes….. fatigue, brain fob, IBS, stiffness… etc.

Is it time to give up work? My family think so.

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Evietime profile image
Evietime
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6 Replies
harmony2 profile image
harmony2

Hi. Well done being an EX-smoker and for your years of work. And for looking for support.

I am genuinely sorry about the “ton of bricks” feeling. Really really sorry. That’s yucky and confusing. Probably most here have had a similar feeling. Of course I won’t say know exactly what you experience since each person is unique. You have my sincere empathy.

You ask a question about a big decision. I offer some questions to ponder for yourself or, if you want to share more, some things you could respond to.

How long has it gone on? When is consultant appointment, if you have it offered yet. What type of consultant? Do you know what they are trying to rule out / in?

Do you need to decide before diagnosis is made (assuming there is one)? Is your employer pressurising you? (Or is the concern that your colleagues have to carry extra work whilst you are off sick weighing on your mind?) Can you afford to retire? Would you need to seek benefits? Do you want to retire?

Is your family emotionally supportive? Do they believe you are genuinely ill? (Some people here do not have that kind of caring, understanding support—especially if they “don’t look sick”. Sometimes it has a big effect.)

Dinkie profile image
Dinkie

The first question that springs to mind is, do you actually wish to stop work? If you are finding things difficult at work then the Equality Act 2010 is there to protect you. You are also entitled to have an occupational health assessment where the report will pinpoint areas where perhaps simple adjustments could be made to make your life easier. Have to say that work has been my saviour, it's kept me reasonably mobile and given me a purpose to get up in the morning when it would be easier to stay home.

What would you miss by not being at work - income, face to face contact with colleagues? how isolated would you be and could you cope. Would you have to rely on benefits and what if those benefits stopped for any reason. All questions I pondered and with reasonable adjustments in place I continue to work and intend to do so until the government let me claim my pension. Would reducing hours help?

I hate to say it but a diagnosis of fibromyalgia can take many years. In my case it was decades before the label was pinned to me. Fibro is usually only diagnosed after all other tests have proved negative so it may be some while before you get a formal diagnosis, particularly in the current climate. What sort of specialist have you been referred to. I suggest you ask for a referral to a rheumatologist. Put the request in writing, that way they can't deny you have asked. Then follow it up with a telephone consult to make sure they have the letter and have acted on it.

In the meantime, epsom salt baths can help with muscle pain. Some use tens machine, hot water bottles or wheat bags, bio freeze gel. Have you had your vitamin D levels checked as low vit D can also be the cause of muscle pains. Gentle stretching, tai chi, swimming or even a gentle stroll in the park/garden can all help with the pain.

hails57 profile image
hails57

Hiya, I'm now going through the same decision making! I'm 64 & work part time, still furloughed but feel I won't be able to return. My mental health has been affected the last few months but now under control, tried meds but side effects were too much! I find it hard to walk too far for too long, stand for too long or sit for too long & the thought of the other staff having to carry me on bad days is unbearable, I've always been a very independent active woman & worked all my life but this has aged me 20 yrs. I work in a sports & social club, full day in an office & 2 shifts washing up in a busy kitchen.

I feel I have to put my health first, including mental health as worrying about coping back at work is pressure in itself. I live alone with my family close by & they feel it's time. The lack of money is a worry but I'm hoping I'll get help. I can officially retire in 2 yrs time but to hold out till then I feel is impossible.

I've written down all the pros & cons & feel it's the best decision for me. Hopefully you will be able to come to a decision that's right for you 😊

Depending on your pension scheme you can apply for ‘Ill Health Retirement’ which can result in extra payments for the ‘6 years early’ bit. I would do some reading. Don’t ‘give up’ your job without going through a formal process, as this will leave you ineligible for benefits.

Midori profile image
Midori

Sounds rather like it, but I would counsel you not to give up work or you will be barred from claiming for unemployment for I think it is six months.

Get your diagnosis confirmed First, then go to HR and ask about medical retirement due to your condition. They should send you to Occupational Health, who will assess you before making a decision on medical retirement.

If your company kicks up, they can be in big trouble, as there are legal hoops for them to jump through in order to fire you, which you will need to claim benefits.

Hope this helps.

Cheers, Midori

JayCeon profile image
JayCeon

Hi - I'm not much younger, was very fit, had no problems with a 50h+ working week 2 years ago. Same experience tore me out of work for 10 months. I used this time to do what I could to get me in a working state again.5 months of treatments only made things worse, but at least I started learning how to pinpoint and track symptoms and triggers, prevent & alleviate them. Then a few physio-type treatments started helping a bit, so I felt in the position to start vocational rehab, adding 8h/wk per month. I had to stop the progression at 24h/wk because things were getting increasingly worse again, went back down to 15h/wk. Now I'm on 3 types of disability for at least 2 years, plus getting overtime down, and am struggling with working 10h/wk. At the same time I've found some more unusual supps (amino acids) which are bringing slow improvements. In the mid-term they might allow me to increase again. Doing treatments (16h/wk) & symptom, trigger and treatment tracking, plus is quite a bit of my life, that's my new work - as well as listening & writing to help and learn for myself on forums (20h/wk, but it's necessary resting in the process)...

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