Despondent. Pain. Alone: Hello to all... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Despondent. Pain. Alone

TK256116E profile image
18 Replies

Hello to all, this is my 1st interaction since joining, please forgive me, my story is long, but I really need help.

I find it helpful reading everyone's experiences, responses, but, as someone succinctly pointed out, we are individual & so bodies respond differently & we experience things differently.

I was diagnosed with M. E 10 years ago along with osteoarthritis but no real treatment/ monitoring so took. over counter painkillers which eventually didn't counteract my increasing pain. In January I tripped, fell flat on the ground, awoke to find myself prone & badly grazed. Later, it felt like my head was too heavy for my body, dizziness so sought help at hospital in N Cyprus where I was living. After scans, tests etc they discovered I've scoliosis, degenerative discs top & bottom of spine & fibromyalgia. They were very good but we were moving within 2mths so given physio, guidance. We moved to Turkey in February to open a cafe we'd just rented, our 1st venture. March 25th we had a car accident resulting in the death of my partner, I badly injured, broken breastbone, concussion, seat belt internal injuries of which I'm still suffering.

I went to my GP in UK saw 2 Drs. Nobody examined me. I feel they don't comprehend that it's invisible, bar the gasps of pain/restrictive movements/walking stick, this pain, anxiety, confusion, memory issues, feeling of bumpy walking. I feel so abandoned. Would I get help via dwp to support my day to day living as all my money was sunk into the business we were trying to open? I just don't know

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TK256116E profile image
TK256116E
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18 Replies

Good morning,

So sorry to hear about your pain and loss.

Are you in the Uk? If so see your GP and ask for a referral to rheumatology to discuss your pain, range of motion, medications and management. This may take a while before you get an appointment. Then at the same time make an appointment at your local job centre to discus your financial situation. They are best placed to assess your needs and if in fact you qualify.

In the meantime read posts and interact if you can, let people get to know you better and occasionally have a smile at the rest of us as we describe our latest adventure coping with people who dismiss our claims of pain, anxiety, depression or any other problems simply because they are invisible. So glad you posted today, having a good old laugh now and then helps you get along and lifts your mood, you’d be surprised how much it helps.

Love and hugs 🤗 xx

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E in reply to

Hi MeggieKy

Thank you for taking time to read let alone reply. You give good advice.

In Turkey trying to sort cafe, its caused so many untold problems but I'm fighting legally.

When I return to UK I will indeed seek out those you suggest.

in reply to TK256116E

Morning TK256116E

You are most welcome. I wish you good luck regarding your legal situation and hopefully you are getting good advice.

You can always post here anytime and more often than not someone will respond...might take a few days though, some of us don’t come on the forum every day. Take good care of yourself and you can always private message me if you prefer, just a quick line to say hello no pressure.

I live with my hubby and two dogs and am learning to pace myself having been diagnosed with fibromyalgia this time last year, so I’m a newbie too.

Love and hugs 🤗 xx

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E in reply to

Thank you for your warmth, kindness and friendly support. It means a lot.

in reply to TK256116E

Ramjets and Jools61 can probably offer better legal advice, but please keep posting, a problem shared can often prompt someone to offer a different approach which may help you.

Lots of love and encouragement with gentle hugs 🤗 xx

Oh my word!!! I'm married to a Turk, 32 years and counting, and have spent quite a bit of time in Istanbul, I can't imagine how you are coping!!!!! I'm so so sorry for your loss and your diagnosis, I have had Fibro for about 20 years, but only got diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago. I really want to just give you a hug!!

How long have you been out of the UK? My advice would be to get in touch with Citizens Advice or Welfare Advisor (don't think that's the right name, someone else will know). Do you have a home to come back to?

All I can think about is the medical situation in Turkiye - not great. The legal stuff - not great for a woman on her own. The political situation - terrifying!! I really hope his family are being supportive and that you are getting good help.

I'm sorry that I'm not much more informed, I really don't know about DWP but I do know there is lots of information here and at Benefits and Work. When you go back to your UK GP write everything down, book a double appointment and ask to see the various consultants you need - a GP is fine for General stuff but it sounds like you need something a bit more specialised.

Take care., xx

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E in reply to

Jools, thank you for your reply. Its hard of course here in Turkey alone, language problems, Turkish law, being female, yes... His family? even jandarma warn me about them, greedy liars. Challenging doesn't come close. Bad people, like vultures, trying to take cafe from me without any payment. This is besides losing my partner, my injuries, my ongoing preexisting health issues. I fight best I can, I do my best to keep what I know would be important to my late partner. I hope life is good for you

in reply to TK256116E

Hello sweetie, hope today is a bit better for you. You must be careful with the Cafe and his family - I don't know much, but my husband's uncle died a couple of years ago, they lived here but had property etc. in Turkiye, his TURKISH wife couldn't get any of that sorted without his son from his first marriage giving permission - because he is the eldest son of the man. So I really hope you have people you can trust with the language and legal issues. I'm very blessed, most of my in laws are wonderful, my lovely parents in law have passed now, but we still have cousins etc. in Istanbul.

You've been on my mind, so, I hope you keep in touch with us, even if it's just for moral support. Look after yourself and do what you can to stay as healthy and sane as you can!! xx

Ramjets profile image
Ramjets

Hi TK, I am so sorry for all you have been through my love and what you are still having to deal with, it must be so difficult for you coping with it all whilst struggling with your health. Hidden and Hidden have given you some good advice regarding seeking further medical help. It may be worth seeing a different GP in the UK if those you saw previously were not very supportive as it does sound like you to need to be referred. With regards to the benefits you will be entitled to, again I agree that you need to seek some proper advice on this especially as you have been living abroad. The Welfare Officer at the CAB should be able to help or you may wish to contact Janet the benefits advisor here at FMAUK. I've put a link below that will take you to her contact details as well as other links that you may find useful at some point. In the meantime, we are here to listen and offer our support so please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on. Take care. x

healthunlocked.com/fibromya...

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E in reply to Ramjets

Hi Ramjets hope you are OK. Your advice is really useful, esp that there is a benefits advisor here, I didn't know this. I wonder what else is accessible via this group as I've never used it, just read posts, learn, compare or note things of relevance.

Thank you all, you have brilliant attitudes.

Louinpain profile image
Louinpain

Hello chick. Im so sorry to hear your story and most importantly your loss. I cant begin to imagine what you are going through in regards to that. Im also new on here but already found the wonderful people on here are full of support and understanding and all have great advice they are happy to share. I have fibromyalgia and cfs and life is difficult but at least i have my family around me to help. You must feel so alone right now. I think the people on here have given you some great advice already so i just want to say please take care of yourself and message anytime. Sending gentle hugs your way. Lou xxx

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E

Dear Louinpain thank you for empathy and for replying I love your gentle hugs too, very appropriate, made me smile :) Everyone has been so kind, thoughtful, sensible & wise. I am encouraged to use and get more involved. Wishing everyone a fab weekend x

MADMUMOFSIX profile image
MADMUMOFSIX

You poor thing my heart breaks for you as well as having these physical issues and making life such a challenge you have lost your partner I'm sending you a big hug there's lots of good advice on this site and there's always people to talk to if you need my thoughts and prayers are with you

honeybug profile image
honeybug

Hii TK 😊🌸🌿🦋

I’m sooo very very sorry for your loss and all the traumatic events since then. You definitely need to be seen by multiple doctors. Especially since your head took a hit. Even the smallest hit can cause damage. I am a closed head injury survivor so I know it can leave one with long lasting affects.

I hope that your other injuries are healing/healed too.

Please take care and best wishes with your business and protection against the partner’s family.

😊🌸🦋🌿 🤗💕😘

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E in reply to honeybug

Thank you Honeybug. Yes, some days better than others, but slowly healing.

Orthopaedic Dr here in Turkey now says to go swimming, to help with breastbone fracture. I want to, but also worry about energy levels as they're incredibly low. Yesterday I slept, got up, back to bed and so on. Take care Honeybug x

honeybug profile image
honeybug in reply to TK256116E

TK Listen to your body and rest when you are weak tired etc.

I hope the breastbone heals quickly That has to be painful as it is affected by every movement.

I hope you’ll be able to get back to the U.K.?? I’m in the USA 🇺🇸

I have a T urkish dentist. Again I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you have endured dear.

You don’t have to respond to this unless you are up to it ok???

Take care and bless you.

😊🌸🌿🦋 🤗💕😘

TK256116E profile image
TK256116E

Honeybug, don't you wonder why it is, you never meet kind, caring, genuine people, like these we find on this site? I am so so glad I ventured a few weeks ago. Thank you for your gentle thoughtfulness.

NanaTisme profile image
NanaTisme

Hi, so sorry for your loss and that you have had such an awful time, find a GP that believes fibromyalgia exits as this is so important, welcome to our family, sending big hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🌻🌺💐

NanaT

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