Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

[Bananas5]

I don't want to be strong as others tell me I am

I want David's pain to stop and have some time with me. To go for walks. To go out exploring.

It will never happen.

The sun comes up over the mountains as it did yesterday. It will be there tomorrow too. And the day after.

It warms my face and lifts my heart.

Mollie is here. nudging my hand. Gentle lick. She understands. Here comes Skye with her long waggy tail. Luna too...our lovely old girl from the rescue

Their love is unconditional.

I will be strong. . I will listen to others worries and hurts.

I will smile because I love life and all its faults. I will help those who ask because I can.

And I will be me

Pat x

[Hidden]

Sad yet beautiful too.x

[Ramjets]

Brought a lump to my throat Pat, sums up beautifully your vulnerability but also your strength - I'm sure many of us can relate, thanks for sharing. x

[Bananas5 in reply to Ramjets]

Thank you my friend.

Guess I wanted to share how those closest feel sometimes. Too many say no one understands. I too want my David back but have to learn acceptance just like those in excruciating,, relentless, pain.

x

[deejames]

Oh Pat. Such evocative words. I hear you and I recognise you. Hold onto those thoughts.

Dee

Xxxx

[Bananas5 in reply to deejames]

To you Dee and friendship

x

[Bananas5]

Totally agree with acceptance. Everyone wants that old, better life pre illness or disability..

My motto?

Don't look back...that isn't the way you are going

x

[Springwater]

That is so beautiful you are strong your post reduced me to tears Pat all my love to you darling and hugs bless you xxx

[Bananas5 in reply to Springwater]

Don't be sad. I wrote it to show the other side of pain...for carers, spouses, or friends. Those who suffer the pain often say no one understands without realising we have to face acceptance too.

x

[robpw]

Pets are amazing - they don’t Care if you make plans and cancel them. , they don’t care if your having a low day , they don’t care if your in pain and just want to vent - they care that your close , they love you so very much and every single one them appreciates you for who you are and they don’t need you to be strong - they are happy snuggled up beside

[Bananas5 in reply to robpw]

They do react to your voice though and sometimes don't understand why you are screaming albeit with pain.

Take great care of your dogs..they will, hopefully, be with you for many years. They can be a complete distraction too when you feel down. They still need feeding no matter how bad you feel.

x

[Jan101]

Beautiful so beautiful and very true. I will remember this. Thank you Pat. xxx

[Fibrobutterfly]

H Bananas5i I am new too this group. But reading your post brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. I have two rescue dogs and they are there for me everyday no matter how I am feeling.

[Bananas5 in reply to Fibrobutterfly]

I noticed you were new and very welcome.

Please don't be sad. Just sometimes people forget about how carer's life has changed to

We lost our old rescue but she was very old and came to us for her last few weeks. Bit of warmth and love on her old bones. But...we have another! Little Cocker who has a serious eye condition and will be operated on next week. Together with our 2 hooligan Collies house is full!

What sort of dogs do you have?

Hugs

x

[Fibrobutterfly in reply to Bananas5]

How are you today? I have a shitzu who is 10 Princé and Tommy chichowa he is 6 and so naughty. They are so loving just what you need when you are in so much pain xxx

[Bananas5 in reply to Fibrobutterfly]

Good to hear from you.

Your 2 dogs sound wonderful....you never train them...they train you! My little rescue had her eyes operated last week and now wears a cone. Manages very well apart from falling own the kerbs!! Oh and she fell in the pool much to the delight of the Collies...they actually laughed!

x