can't stop crying

hi I am so devastated I've had to rehome my wee dog because I can't give her the walks a woman that s been looking for one since her Westie died in Jan has her I just can't stop crying my house is empty and it's so very lonely no reason to go out my bed is empty I feel physically sick I am being kept in the loop so I know how's she's doing for the first month my wee ailsa comforted me when my son died last year and when her pal fizz died a couple of months ago to me she was my wee girl was with me all time I know I am being selfish but it didn't stop the pain this fibro took my whole life away from me I've nothing left sorry for going on xx


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45 Replies

  • I am so sorry you have had to rehome your little sweetheart. I can feel your pain. I have four cats, I don't know where I would be without them. My heart goes out to you.

  • I just don't know if I can stand this it's too much I am sitting here trying to tell myself not to be selfish that she will have all the walkies she needs but it's not helping me I miss so much her physical presence her touch some people will think I am nuts xx

  • Don't think you're selfish or nuts. You're entitled to be sad. You've had lots to go through in a short time. Big soft hugs XX

  • thanks xxx

  • No anyone who has loved a pet will understand.

  • Hi

    So sorry you have been through so much in such a short time

    my Mum has to make the decision to let her dog of 15 years go a few months ago and she is devastated .

    I wont say knowing she is going to a good home will help as at present nothing will help

    Please log on here daily and read the post and reply to those you wish to and post when you want to.

    I know we cant replace her but we are here for you

    Take Care


  • your poor mum as well this loveing thing is so painfull at times I am trying to tell myself that it's not only ailsa will be better off but that I am helping the lovely lady who is on her own as well but as you say nothing helps at the moment I just my wee dog is not so very upset as well xxx

  • Oh my dear I know exactly how you are feeling.

    Last year I had to find my beloved African Grey a new home . I had him from a 4 month old hand reared bundle of feathers and had him for 19 years. The dust from his feathers was making my husbands COPD worse so I had no choice but I still cry a lot and feel so guilty.

    I am fortunate that I have little holidays with him in my sons caravan but I am still heartbroken as he was my baby.

    If ever you want to talk feel free to message me. TKe care. 💐

  • I know it is so awfully painfull 19 yrs is a long time I know she will also be devastated as I had rescued her 4 yrs ago from a breeding puppy farm were she was not looked after the first love and affection was from me and she had a very loveing personality followed me everywhere in the house I know the lady will love her dearly and she will be spoilt I know it sounds weird but it was easier to deal with my other Westie death than this I just want to bury my head in her coat and cuddle her I am sick of heartache xx

  • Oh bless you. I said the same as you that I if he sadly passed away then I would have accepted that easier even though that was rather selfish of me.

    My husband feels bad at me having to rehome him but his health has to come first.

    I can't say it will get easier as it still hasn't for me yet ( I ache for him )

  • I think it will always be like that I just hate this fibro xxx

  • So sorry to read this, our fur babies are an important part of the family so no wonder you feel so sad. Definitely not nuts, your grief is very real and should not be downplayed.

    Best wishes to you x

  • thanks i wish I could hibernate till I feel better know that sounds stupid xx

  • No not at all stupid, I think that's a fairly normal grief reaction to be honest. When I look back at times of grief in my own life, each and every time my initial reaction is to bury myself away with a need to be solitary and quiet. A time of quiet pause to gather strength to cope with the situation is how I looked at it.

    Don't apologise for feeling sad now.

  • thanks xx

  • You have done something very brave here, I have no idea how to offer comfort but do keep in touch here then at least you wont feel so isolated xxxx

  • i am so sorry to hear you have had to rehome your beloved companion,

    i have my dogs and struggle to walk them ,it is a shame you could not have found someone to walk her for you.i am sure she has a loving home.are you able to still see her?

  • she wouldnt go with anyone not even my daughter i cant see her as shes went about 70 miles away the lady is keeping me informed of her progress every day fir the first month she says someone else has suggested that I try and put positive thoughts in my head of the good times we had and that she's getting what she needs xx

  • I can feel your anguish Dottylady

    I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't.

    Grief is such a personal thing, and we all deal with it differently.

    Can I suggest that you let your grief run Its course. At the same time choose one positive step each day to move on from the the raw grief that you have just now.

    For example. Today I'm going to look at a photo of the little dog, I'm not going to cry, but I'm going to laugh at all the fun we had together. The idea is to replace negative feelings with positive ones. It sounds daft, but it works especially for grief experienced where the cause of the grief has not gone out of your life altogether.

    Perhaps if you feel that you're not moving on,you could see your Dr and have a word wim him/her.

    Try and find some time to get out of the house and see some other people.

    Keep coming on here and let us know how you're doing.

    Take care.

    GP. 😀😀

  • thanks i will try to do as you suggested xx

  • I know exactly how you feel, we looked after my nieces dog for over three years when she couldn't look after him because she split with her partner, and we got really attached to him, then when she met someone else and settled down he went back to her, we knew it was going to happen one day be it was still a wrench especially for my OH who used to walk him daily , everyone says just get another dog but I can't walk far and it'd all be down to my OH again, I was thinking of getting a cat just for the company, is that something you could consider, there'd be no "walkies"to worry about, take care

  • I had got a kitten 3 weeks ago for my Westie ailsa as she was grevieing for my other dog who died 8 weeks ago I've not become attached to get yet I've always been more of a dog person but in time aim sure I will love her just as dearly just too upset to think of anything else xxx

  • Hi dotty,I'm feeling for you,how about a cat they can be good company too but you don't have walk them xalan

  • hi Alan I just got a kitten 3 weeks ago for ailsa as she was grevieing for fizz my dig that died I've just not got attached to it yet dogs are different ive had dogs all my life I treat them all as humans ailsa was extra special xx

  • I understand I have a patter dale terrier and I tuck her in bed at night.

  • yes that's the worst part my bed empty she always slept with me patterdales are lovely wee dogs xx

  • Oh I suggested a cat in my last post, but I see you've already got one 😃 I'm a dog person too, but it's the company of an animal that we need

  • So sorry to read your post as I know how much she meant to you. That you have done the right thing won't comfort you at the moment as I know there will be a big vacumn in your life. Hopefully once you have feedback that she has settled in and is enjoying herself the heartbreak will slowly ease. Often this is what I call the great privilege of owning an animal that we can decide what we think is best and in the circumstances knowing most Westies it is good that she is going to be getting regular exercise.

    Be kind to yourself let the years flow and don't try and keep anything in. Let us know how you are doing.x

  • thanks xxx

  • Aww Dottylady ,I really feel for you. I have never had to let any of my pets go to another home but have had to have some beloved little friends put to sleep and it broke my heart.

    They are a cherished part of your family and part of your life and its going to be very difficult for you. You have been thru a lot together,and shared some poignant moments. Even though you know in your heart of hearts its the right thing to do for the little woof it doesn't make it any easier for you.

    Getting as stressed out as you are is not good for you.If you had someone to walk the dog at least twice per day would you be able to look after her otherwise ? Is there someone in your area that does this type of service ? If so is there a cost attached and is it within your budget ?

    Not sure if this is possible but if it stops your heartache,and doesnt put the doggy to any disadvantage it may be worth looking into.But you need to be sure that you can cope with looking after her.

    If not you can take comfort in knowing that the lady who has her will give her a loving home and will look after her well,and will give you an update on how things go,so you can still feel involved.

    Take care,thinking of you.



  • the problem is she wouldn't go out with anyone but me she would just squirm then get away and that was dangerous I just hope this crying and feeling devastated lessens soon thanks xx

  • I am so sorry for you. You feel real pain in your heart when your so sad. I hope you overcome your sadness. Good luck

  • I hope so too soon it's to painfull xx

  • I know how you feel. We lost our dog on New Year's Day after 10 years and I felt so emotional and empty afterwards and even now I sometimes come home and expect him to be here. I know there is nothing I can say to make the pain go away, but I'm here if you need me xxxxx 💜🦋

  • thanks it's good to know that my fibro friends are there to talk to xx

  • Anytime hun xxx

  • So sorry to hear you are missing you little dog. sending you gentle hugs. Joolz.x

  • thanks Jools it does hurt badly ps are you from Yorkshire just cause of hebden aim in Scotland I use to live in Yorkshire xxxx

  • Hi

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Illness robs us of so many thungs. Sending gentle hugs xxx

  • it certainly does xx

  • Hi give yourself time for the pain to lessen you will still be grieving for your other dog too we are all here for you, in time you will take heart to know that he is in another loving home and you have a lovely little kitten wo will also be feeling lost be good to each other and get comfort from her, keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

    Love & Hugs


  • I will thanks

  • So sorry Dottylady. Do let yourself grieve and please don't apologise for tears. Love and hugs xxx

  • sorry to hear you have had to make this decision. i know it wouldnt have been easy but you have done whats best for her, you are amazing to have done that. grieve as long as you need to, you are in no way nuts! we gave our dog to my sister (she and cookie had falling out & no matter what i tried they could no longer tolerate each other) so we are very lucky that we get to see her often but i would be the same as you otherwise. its great the other lady is keeping you updated, that will bring peace of mind.

    be kind to yourself huny, the pain will ease. sending you a gentle hug xx

  • That is the worst thing, could you get her back and get someone to come around and walk her? Maybe it's been suggested yet but I could not read all the replies.There are sites like "borrow my doggie" . The thing is, I am sure once you give up the last thing that counts for you, it's easier to take the last decision of your life. I know, I have two cats and without them, I would certainly be dead, they are my precious allies. Try to set your mind on one thing, just visit at least. I really hope you get there. Best of luck

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