Sorry people I need to vent

I have had Fibromyalgia for about 12 years now, I am single and totally alone, and since April when a neighbour caused trouble with other neighbours about my garden, I have been on the receiving end of intimidation and harassment, I ignored everything they were doing to me, this got to the point that they then involved other neighbours by spreading slander about me, they in turn have involved other neighbours and stirred up hatred against me, I live in a cul-de-sac and am at my wits end. I just stayed inside my house and did nothing to them at all.

this is making my condition worse and I have nobody to turn to for help. any suggestions please

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  • Hi Cathrine19611

    I am truly so sorry ๐Ÿ˜ to hear that you are having all this harassment from your neighbours.

    Is there anyway that you could bring them all together to talk this all over. This is no way to live and all this will make you so ill ๐Ÿ˜ท and my heart โค๏ธ truly goes out to you.

    I feel that this is a sort off bullying and it's very cruel for people to single out one โ˜๏ธ person and do this to them.

    Do you live in a private or council house ๐Ÿก either or you can go and report this behaviour I am absolutely disgusted about how they are treating you.

    I am sure that the administrators will also speak to you and possibly be able to point you in a direction.

    You can talk to us at anytime day or night and we all will be there for you. ๐Ÿ˜˜

    My heart truly goes out to you my friend please take good care of yourself. Sending you lots off warm hugs ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒทxxx

  • Hi Jan

    it is a private house, you are right it is bullying. I called the council, they sent a PCSO out, he was very nice and listened, I gave him diary sheets I had kept, he went round to speak to them and they had all seen him arrive, and by the time he went to them they had got their 'story' straight. they have told him that I was filming them from inside my house, this is complete rubbish and I have never filmed them. because there are so many of them and only one of me he said that he is a good judge of character, well not in this case. he told me that I should, 'be careful what I pick up and how I hold things inside my own house' . this is my house, I should be able to do what I want in it.

    as for speaking to them that is not an option. they have pointed their phones into my house and filmed what I am doing inside my house, the man who started this keeps telling them they can do all sorts of things, when it backfires on him he then has a rant and I have heard him say on more than one occasion, 'what are we going to do for revenge'

  • I truly feel for you hun. โค๏ธ If the council won't help then if it gets out off hand then you will have to call in the police ๐Ÿ‘ฎ I truly hope for your sake that it does not come to that. I will never understand why people have to get a group to gang up on someone it really upsets me. I could and would never allow anyone person to be singled out. I truly wish that this man and the rest off them leave you alone. As for saying he wants revenge that is absolutely disgusting.

    I have just seen it's your birthday today hun many happy returns of the day ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽˆand hopefully you are going out with some friends or family to celebrate ๐ŸŽ‰ your birthday ๐ŸŽ‰

    How long has this been going on?

    Take good care of yourself hun ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒบxxx โค๏ธโค๏ธ

  • than you Jan, it is a case of single woman easy target, if there was a man here they would not have started in the first place.

    unfortunately I don't have any friends or family, I was a carer for my mother for 27 years and she was hateful to everybody until they no longer wanted to know, since she died I have been totally alone

  • Ah bless you hun. You are right if there was a man they may off thought twice.

    Sounds like your mum didn't help the situation and now you left with all the animosity.

    Maybe you could look at joining one off the social centres. I know that can be difficult in the beginning but it could help you get some friends at least. You really need to get out off the house ๐Ÿก as it could be worth it in the end. If the neighbours see that you have people coming in and out then they might back off and leave you alone. So there is two purposes in trying to make friends with others. Just think about it as it's so sad ๐Ÿ˜ญ for you to be so alone.

    ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒบxxx

  • unfortunately, when somebody comes to the house you don't see him for dust, as soon as whoever has been leaves he comes out and starts again

  • That is what you call a coward who tries to intimidate people. If he is like that then don't worry about him. I would like it if my oh lived near by he would definitely ask him why he likes to intimidate women that live on there own. Keep yourself to yourself and don't respond to him because if they get a reaction that is what they want and it keeps fuelling then. He is a very sad individual. Remember if you need to talk we are always hear for you. Take good care of yourself ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒบxxx

  • Hi catherine19611 have you tried neighborhood disputes i would contact your housing.

    They may be able to do some mediation work or there may be other things available.

    I am so sorry to hear you are being made to feel this way. It must be very difficult for you. I imagine this is waring you down.

    I hope things get sorted quickly we are here if you need to talk.

    I am pleased you have managed to get in touch with all this going on it takes a strong person to do that.

    Good luck my friend

  • thank you, I have contacted the council, it does not look very promising at the moment as I cant prove what they are doing, and I cant afford to buy cameras to put in my house.

    it is also my birthday today and I am so miserable and frightened.

  • Hi catherine19611 can you keep in touch i will look into this for you in the meantime if anymore happens i would try contacting the police.

  • There's nothing I hate more than bullies ๐Ÿ˜ก. I'm furious for you that this so called man is being so vile to you. I'm also disgusted that other neighbours are jumping on his cruel band wagon.

    It certainly appears to be a case for the police my lovie. I wish you all the best for a good outcome. I know how awful this must be for you.

    All my love and sending angels to help xx

  • Hi catherine19611 I am so sorry you are having to endure this disgusting behaviour from neighbours. Bullying really infuriates me and I'm quite surprised the police are not doing more about it. I wonder if your neighbours realise they could end up with being prosecuted and even end up with a prison sentence and have criminal records for doing what they are doing. No one should have to live like this. I have copied some legal information for you and I would contact your local CAB office because they can also help you with legal info to give you more advice on how else you can deal with this.

    Protection from Harassment Act

    Neighbours that target you personally with their behaviour, such as through verbal abuse, dumping litter in your garden, deliberately causing obstruction or any other efforts intended to make your home life a misery, then this then becomes an issue for the Protection from Harassment Act 1977.

    It is an offence for an individual to conduct themselves in a way that amounts to harassment of others and, if found guilty, offenders can face up to six months in jail.

    Crime and Disorder Act 1998If your neighbourโ€™s bad behaviour, such as drunkenness, violence, damage, intimidation or verbal abuse, is not solely directed at you but affecting the neighbourhood as a whole then your rights to curtail their anti-social activities are supported by the Crime and Disorder Act 1998.

    This act rebuts the notion that a child is incapable of crime. Under this legislation you can appeal to the police and your local council authority for an Anti Social Behaviour Order (ASBO) to imposed on chief offenders regardless of whether they are over or under 18 years of age. If the individual has behaved in a manner "that caused or was likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress" then they can be restricted from entering a specific geographical area or banned from certain acts.

    This is the government's advice on what you can do.

    england.shelter.org.uk/get_...

    This is CAB advice google.co.uk/url?sa=t&sourc...

    I hope this helps my friend and as others have said we are all here for you and your not on your own.

    Sending u lots of โคn hugs

    Luv Jan xxx

  • thank you

  • Your very welcome honey, I just hope you can move forward with it all and if there is anything else we can help you with, don't hesitate to ask. I can't imagine what it must be like for you, being unable to leave your own home because of these horrible neighbours. It is definitely harassment and the police should be telling them that it will lead to harrassment orders being issued if they don't stop. Just the fact of them believing your neighbours, who are obviously making it look like they are not responsible for this harrassment is a joke really. Why on earth would you be reporting it to the police if they were not making your life a misery ?. Like I say my friend, get hold of CAB because they are very good in these situations and will help you, even more so because you are ill & it's effecting your health. Xxx

  • Hi Catherine,

    First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY xxxx

    Please dont despair ! You have us, we are here for you.

    Situations like this should not be allowed to continue and you need help. Have you ever tried something like " Talking Changes ". You may find something like this helpful and it might be a step forward. Im sure others on here will also offer you some advice on how to get some help.

    It can be very lonely living with fibro and without family its the hardest thing in the world. Then when your home is under threat from horrible neighbours life becomes a nightmare.

    Just know there is light at the end of the tunnel !

    Where there is a WILL there is a WAY !

    We are here for you and we will help you find a way!

    Sending Hugs and Best wishes for your Birthday xxxx

  • Hello Catherine

    I was so incredibly sad reading what is happening for you.

    You must feel so isolated and lonely.

    However, please remember that there are many many lovely members here and we will all do our very best to help and support you.

    It sounds as though you are already keeping a diary. I would recommend that you still keep this diary and write down every single thing that happens and is said.

    I know this is pretty drastic, but would you be able to move?

    I completely agree with everyone else. I believe it is a case for the Police not a PCSO (and I am not putting PCSO's down because my nephew used to be one).

    I think you should go into your Police station and ask to see someone so that you can make a statement.

    I also agree that the CAB is a good place to go to get some advice.

    I cannot abide bullies. It is disgraceful that grown adults are bullying you in this way. Please try to stay strong and don't let them get to you too much. Easy to say I know, but try not to let it show how much they are affecting you.

    Hold your head high when you go out.

    Take care of yourself my friend

    Lu xx

  • thank you

    moving is not an option.

    I cant go out at the moment I just don't have the strength

    the PCSO spoke to them, they denied it and he closed the case

    I am trying to get hold of the CAB

  • That doesn't mean you can't go back again to the Police or call them.

    I very much hope that the CAB are able to help you.

    Please would you keep us updated as to how you are getting on.

    Lu xx

  • Hi

    Agree with all advice given re police and contacting CAB I would also Googol Law Centres in your area .

    Often they are able to advise more on Housing related issues.

    Any incident report to police and ensure you get a crime number .

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

    Rose

    xxx

  • Hi catherine19611

    I am so truly sorry to read this and bullying of any kind is totally unacceptable. I genuinely hope that the local authority can assist you in some way my friend. If you ever feel threatened or in danger please do not hesitate to ring the police straight away. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • thank you Ken, you are such a lovely man,

  • Thank you my friend that is genuinely appreciated. Good luck to you and please take care of yourself.

  • I'm really sorry your experiencing such bullies. You have a right to feel safe in your own home especially.

    People are right about informing the council and the police. But don't retaliate as this gives them a sense of satisfaction as if they're winning. Keep a diary of what the neighbour does, times, dates and what he says.

    You say it began over your garden? If it needs some tlc and your struggling, why not ask the council if there's any help? They may know of a scheme to get the garden done for you. There used to be schemes where groups would do jobs for disabled or elderly for free. If it's a council house they should come and do it. My inlaws have a regular council gardener service as they are both disabled. I pay a gardener ยฃ15 a fortnight to keep mine tidy as I also am unable to do it myself.

    Try not to isolate yourself, hard I know, but being alone all the time is time spent ruminating and leads to depression. Talk to your GP, ask about the pain clinic, look for local meeting groups. MIND have branches everywhere and usually do drop in session where people can go for tea and a chat for free and to meet others who need company and to get help and advice from lovely staff, prove to yourself your not alone. All of us are here for you online but I know that's not the same as face to face contact.

    I hope this is some help to you and I wish you all the best.

  • thank you.

    the problem with the garden is that they think they have the right to use my garden as extra drive space for them, whatever I do to it they will just drive over it. his wife reversed from the side of their house straight back completely over my garden (nowhere near their drive) and missed hitting my car which was parked on my drive by no more than 2cm, she then drove back across my garden onto their drive, reversed out and drove off, 3 days later she did the same thing again, this time not coming back quite so far, but this time the wheels of her car were spinning on the soil and throwing up soil and stones pelting the side of my car which was parked on my drive. I moved my car to the other side of my drive following this, and no more than a week later she reversed from the side of their house completely across my garden, then across my drive and ended up behind my car which was parked on my drive, she then drove forward back across my garden onto their drive, reversed out and drove off. following this twice a day 5 days a week she reversed along their drive with her car approximately a metre on my garden the full length of my garden, this went on week after week after week. whatever I do to my garden she will destroy. my neighbour who caused all of the trouble by saying something to them about it in the first place, said to them, "what if she (me) puts up a little fence" . this woman snapped back, "that's no good it will just get destroyed". it is just a waste of time and money doing anything to it, whatever I or anybody else do it will be destroyed.

  • They sound like real bullying idiots, keep a diary and take photos of any damage. Keep reporting it to the council and the police, they sound like ASBO candidates! Let the authorities deal with them.

    Try MIND group, you could meet some really nice people. Getting out and distracting yourself with good company will help at least. Bullies get bored when they don't get a response. Keep the moral high ground and there behaviour will be revealed.

    I hope you can find some comfort in the many responses from this site. Hugs x

  • unfortunately when something they try against me fails, the man who is the ring leader, has a rant and says to the others what are we going to do to get revenge.

  • I'm so sorry ur having to cope with this, these people must be very bord an insecure to behave like such animals, it's is not nice being on ur side of this, if u ever need to chat please feel u can talk to us all sending lots of hugs ๐Ÿค— to u xx

  • thank you

  • So sorry to read about your sad plight. I agree with the advice you have been given but in addition have you spoken to your doctor because this shocking situation must be affecting your health/ stress levels. You need to feel strong enough in the first place to cope with these bullies ...and different agencies. Your GP should be able to offer you coping strategies and to refer you to services which can offer a friendly face, help and support...talking to someone with a sympathetic ear is often the first step. Hold your head high, dress smartly (that is your suit of armour) try to think positive and try not to let them see they are upsetting you. Not easy I know...but it helps! Good luck.

  • I try not to let them see they are upsetting me,

    I have an appointment to see my GP on Tuesday, the woman who is doing this works at my GP practice

    they are all up to something, when they are about to do or have done something else against me, their behaviour suddenly changes, they all suddenly cant get out of their cars and into their houses fast enough and none of them look in my direction at all. then when it backfires on them, the man behind this is ranting and raving that they are going to get revenge on me. don't know what it is they have done yet but will find out soon, they have been doing this again since Wednesday. these people are not young kids, the man and his wife who started this are in their 60's.

  • They are old enough to know better! Whatever is wrong with these people that they behave in such a cruel and disgusting way?

    My heart goes out to you with what you are enduring at the hands of these evil minded people.

    MariLiz x

  • thank you, they have had cameras put up on their properties now, I suspect they are pointed at my house, this does breach the data protection act if they are. I went out to water some small trees that I had planted and a pot by my front door this afternoon, there was nobody outside when I went out, within 30 seconds one of them appeared out the front and started trying to intimidate and provoke me. she didn't get a reaction and I came straight in. I have now contacted CAB, I have also spoken to somebody from Leicestershire county Council and they are referring it to the Anti-social behaviour officer, and he is also going to get victim support to contact me, and I have also notified the police again, but I don't hold out too much hope as there are more of them than me. I am absolutely terrified.

  • You shouldn't have to live in fear in your own home. I hope the council and victim support will be helpful. Please do contact the police again if these incidents continue.

    MariLiz x

  • I am just worried that they will get fed up and not respond, or arrest me as there are more of them and they have got their story straight and lying against me

  • If you remain calm, write everything down as it occurs, there is no reason for you to be arrested. Look online for calming breathing exercises, and use these to detach yourself from the stress they are causing you. If you have headphones you can put some calming music on and switch off what is going on outside your house.

  • Do not give up hope...you are not alone. And, importantly, it appears you probably have the law on your side. Hang on in there, the agencies you've sensibly contacted have made a start.

  • I don't know if they have, I have been passed to them as a referral, and have not heard anything from them. I went to see my GP yesterday, he didn't want to know and said I should contact social services

  • well so much for calling the police, I have had an email back telling me that they have passed it back to the same PCSO who came out last time and that he will be in touch in due course, last time he said that he is a good judge of character and he didn't believe me

  • Hi I am having the same problem so my only way out is to move ,police do nothing,end of day they are bully's who have sad life's .your worth more than them

  • I cant afford to move

  • Yes I can understand that my heart goes out to you I am trying to move but cannot find anywhere in my price range and so scared of getting more nasty neighbours but there seems no help out there to sort it x

  • if I could afford to move I would want to live in the middle of a field away from everyone

  • Snap that's my dream knowing my luck the cows will move on it lol x

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