Feeling useless

Hi all, how am I feeling??? Where should I start? Feeling frustrated & useless,I use to be sooo house proud my kids use to beg me not to clean for a day,now my house is a s.. t hole,I can't manage to get out of bed most days,my three boys are amazing age 26,16 and 12 who has ADHD, I want to cry all the time. I just want to be that NORMAL MUM I use to be. Rant over SORRY GUYS X

15 Replies

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  • Hi diamond wendie

    Im so sorry to hear your feeling this way.I truly know how you feel.

    I too have three children 36 34 &31.They were young at one time and my youngest was diagnosed adhd at a young age.I too had days when I questioned myself about how to achieve things and now my kids are all married off and have their own families.I used to love to clean and rearrange the house all the time ..but you have to remember even at the best of times with fibro it's difficult not to mention 3 children a household to run and a 12 year old son who needs mommy also.I feel your pain ..I do but you're doing the best you can at this time.I always say the dishes aren't going anywhere they'll be there tomorrow and the vacuumimg and the laundry won't do itself so it'll wait for me..I know your tired of hearing that I was too.

    Now after raising my kids divorced in the last 2 years and living on my own ..I've managed to be a little gentler to myself and go with the flow. If I'm not well I stay in bed.It sounds like your kids understand you very well and I'm sure they don't mind if mommy rests up..it's not your fault.

    Sending you Gentle hugs and wishes your way.

    Hang in there xx

    Sweetdreams.

  • Thank you so much for your reply mad me cry seems you understand me x

  • Hi ..aww I most certainly do ..you please wipe those tears..if you ever would like to chat please feel free to pm me I'm a great listener.And guess what diamondwendie..I am free to chat practically 24/7 due to the fact .

    I hardly sleep..may get 2_4 hours a night and I could use the company..

    Take care.

    Sweetdreams.xx

  • Awwww thank you for listening appreciate your reply x

  • Hi diamondwendie

    I really am so genuinely sorry to read of how you are feeling and please believe me when I say that you are not useless! You are an incredible and unique individual with a long term illness. Sadly, having Fibro can seriously curtail the way that we use to live and the way that we want to live my friend. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Hiya diamondwendie So sorry your feeling so low. Fibro is a very lonely illness that strips you of what you used to be and be able to do. I too was so house proud and always cleaning. I lived in a 3 bed house. I would blitz it all. It was my passion... I was with my ex (our son had gone to uni and then gone to work in London) who was not in any hurry to fix any thing and diy's never got finished. It was a constant battle because I got myself into such a state worring about the house. Anyway, as I started to go through one illness after another I did less and less to finally spending each day in bed. I would lie there fretting what if someone come? People will think I'm dirty and less of a person than I was before. I'd Never go out just constantly vegitating. My ex was my carer? He would bring me food in bed and he would encourage me to stay there. Iwould get out of bed the days my son came to visit and then that would make my so tired I'd be back in bed the next day and I'd stay there. Well earlier on this year I moved into a small flat just for me in a sheltered accommodation and I love. It's just enough for me to keep as I want it and when I'm having a flare I stay in bed until I'm strong enough to deal with life again. I don't worry if I'm in bed for a few day's anymore. I know my body will tell me when it's time to 'get back to normal'.... I still don't go out much but I'm not in bed 24/7 anymore. Have you thought what else could be causing this vegitating as well as fibro? Have you considered asking the Doc that you may be depressed? It took a long time to accept what fibro had taken from me and that my life would never be the same again but I have a Life now it's just a different one.....take care and please keep posting even if it's just to kick off or just for Someone who understands x

  • Thank you for your reply you have just described ME to a T.I've been on antidepressants for about 4 years now I have suggested to GP mabe they need changing to something that is used for fibromyalgia.Ive also been suffering from hyperhidrosis which means every time I start to walk around I sweat like mad on my head and face,i do go out as I have a 12 year old with ADHD and take him to hospital appointment every week,x

  • I think doc needs to listen to how you feel. Look at your meds and refer you to someone that can help you. It can get better a you have your children. That's why we keep fighting day after day. Let us know how your doing and we can support you while your going through this xxx

  • Rant all you like, diamondwendie, get it out of your system so that you diminish the stress of holding it in. You're not useless, you're ill, and you have a lot on your plate in addition to the fibro so give yourself brownie points for all you are able to do. I have never been houseproud but I like my house to be clean and well remember the desperation of watching it falling apart around me. My daughter, who lives abroad insisted on paying for someone to come and clean once a week for £25. It's one of the best decisions I have made. If you can afford it you will find your stress levels dropping enormously. You can't do it all by yourself and part of managing fibro is accepting that, difficult though it is.

    Sending you gentle hugs. Anna xxx

  • Good morning Diamondwendie, so sorry to read this, I certainly can relate to how you feel but what I always tell myself when I am being critical of me or expecting too much of me - I take a step back and reverse the situation - for example if say your friend or familly member was suffering as you were and in the same situation you were in - would you say/expect this things of her/him? The answer of course is no, but yet we give our selfs a hard time.

    I find doing that very helpful and it lowers my stress levels.

    Also as your wanting to cry all the time, just wondered if maybe look into Adrenal Fatique.

    I hope you feel better soon and be kinder to yourself : >

    Best wishes

    Debs

  • Oh diamondwendy sounds like you are going through it at the moment - we are all here for you and it's OK to have a rant - suggest though you have a word with your GP - we all get those off days/weeks/months - I can understand your frustration having your independence taken away from you - you should treat yourself more kindly as it isn't your fault this illness has taken this away from you. I am sending you great big hugs 🤗 and loads of kisses 😘 and hope that you feel better soon take care.

  • Thank you x

  • Thank you x

  • Hi welcome. Ditto to everything everyone is advising. I would also add that you need to get your children together and explain how you feel and that you need help around the house. They are old enough to understand and also help. We have to sometimes swallow our pride to improve our life and those around us. Kittyx

  • This disease takes so much...I am really sorry.

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