'But you look fine'

The sentence I'm so tired of hearing.

So much so I for the first time told my friends through Facebook about my condition. I put a picture up of what I look like under the make up....so many couldn't believe the difference. That I could look so worn down....Iv realised through posting what I did how many loving, supportive friends I have around me! So very grateful to this community for giving me the confidence to talk freely about it! ☺️


13 Replies

  • That is great Jade...you really do find out who your friends are with Fibro as we tend to be pretty unreliable . Good for you.....hugs x

  • That is so true Trikki - you really find out who are true friends are and who are what I call 'fair weather' friends - the ones who just there for the good times. Separates the wheat from the chaff :)

  • That was a brave thing to do, you should be proud of yourself. I hope you're having as pain free a day as possible gentle hugs Rosie xx

  • My friends always ask how I am but nobody invites me out anyway .. they have to the fact stopped asking .... but oh well xx

  • I've explained to my friends what its like for me so to every invite i say "Yes - health permitting" Perhaps they don't invite you because they think you can't go out and don't wanna make you feel left out. Explain that your condition fluctuates and ask them to let you know about nights out. I know what you mean though, its like time has a different meaning to us... When I do go out I'll talk about the last time I went out which was a month or two ago whilst my friends have had lots of nights out in between.

  • I look healthier now than I ever have done because I used to be (naturally) slim but have put a lot of weight on due to inactivity mostly so I LOOK fine. This is what fine means:


    In pain



  • Thanks for response but nah they just fed up of me saying sorry at the last minute ... I will say I can go when I get offered but say if I get ill will get back to them .... xx

  • This is a very lonely illness because we need to rest so much and can't join in. Have you tried inviting some friends round to yours for a catch up. You won't have to get yourself dressed up. Good luck x

  • I feel for you being so young and having this awfull Fibromygia I will advise yea you do look pretty but as you say underneath your hurting Remember there are plenty of things you can do to ease your Fibro like good diet keep achohle down if you drink , get plenty of sleep if you can't sleep get some sleeping pills from you docter I rub moisturizing cream into the affected areas every night and the list goes on Iv got Fibro , restless legs Asma and Tinatass so I know you need friends to help you cope Let's hope your pop goes through ok A xx

  • Hi jade_styx

    What a courageous thing to do my friend? I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x :)

  • Good for you, if we don't tell people how will they ever learn! I am glad you have found supportive friends, hang on to them :)

  • You are very lucky to have received supportive comments, you must have some very good friends!! I read a poem that 'inoutfog' posted on here a few months back and it was brilliant (not sure if I can tag you in it) but sums up that we may look fine but were not!!

    The only DR that was ever helpful once said to me when I initially told him of my condition 'all you need is supportive friends and family who won't judge you when you cancel plans and understand that you are telling the truth and you know your own body and mind' and it is true - that can be the breaking point when no one believes you!


  • Found the poem but can't find a way to tag you ...

    For those who think

    that Fibro's a lie

    Take a walk in my shoes


    See how you fair through

    Go on, I dare you ?

    Go on, read your book

    and take a good look

    Yes I look good

    Did you not expect I would?

    The pain can't be seen

    It's not there on a screen

    It fuddles our brains

    Then you ask us to "Explain" ?

    The symptoms the pain

    again and again

    They should be given a jab

    That makes them half MAD!!!

    Then they'd know how we feel

    Day to day it's unreal

    We must keep up the fight

    They must listen "We're right"

    We know how we feel

    And for us it is a big deal

    I worked for years

    And shed many tears

    through the fatigue and pain

    the anguish and strain

    I'm half the person I was

    and this is because

    The pain is too much

    I can't stand to be touched

    All alone in my troubles

    I've built my own bubble

    They will find a cure one day

    For me its too far away

    I'm getting on in years

    And will shed many more tears

    of this i am sure

    Until they find the cure

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