On a guilt trip

[bcourt]

I worked hard to obtain all my professional qualifications; took blood sweat and tears over the years. Finally got a post lecturing in a University but had to give up my post due to my Fibro. Now attempting to claim PIP and ESA, but feeling rather upset that it has come to this. Feeling guilty about needing to apply for a DWP income.

[Hollie121]

You shouldn't feel guilty you haven't asked for this horrible illness and that's what esa and pip are there for for genuine people who need help good luck

[BlueMermaid3]

Hi bcourt

I am so sorry you are feeling bad.

I can honestly completely empathise with you. I worked solidly, full time for 34 years. I ended up having to resign from a job I absolutely loved due to ill health.

I hate being on benefits. I had such a strong work ethic.

PIP and ESA is for people who are genuinely ill. That means you, me and many of our members.

You are only doing what you have to do. Please don't feel bad.

Wishing you less pain and more peace

Lu x

Admin

[Hidden]

Please don't feel guilty, nobody wants a chronic, painful illness! Do what you have to and take no nonsense, as you said you've worked hard to get where you were, nobody does that and then just stops.

Good luck.

[peck]

If you need it you should never feel guilty!! Be easy on yourself.Peck🐤

[LtAngua52]

I too gave up a teachi.g job due to ill health and now rely on both pip and esa. I don't feel guilty, but I don't feel good about myself, disappointed really. But as others have said, you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it as fibromyalgia is not something anyone would choose, it chose you! Now is the time to look after yourself and take every possible treatment you think will help. Mostly, try to keep positive. Difficult I know, but some people have improved enough to return to work. Just give it time.

4 months ago I thought life was over and I had no future. However, I've improved a lot and I'm actually feeling that maybe I could return to work. If not this year then next, so keep being positive, things may just improve. I was diagnosed with other things since fibromyalgia and treatment has made me 10 times better. Maybe I'm just lucky but you may be too. I hope things improve for us all.

[bcourt in reply to LtAngua52]

Thanks...problem is I have had this Fibro for years before diagnoses so been on the ups and downs of going for gold only to get stressed and then back on the sick. You could say I am tired of the ups and downs to the point of not wanting to try again. But, see how things go..

[Scottish-piglet]

The guilt feeling unfortunately doesn't seem to go away, I miss work so much but just couldn't do it due to Fibro. I wish you every success in obtaining PIP and ESA, there is always advice available on this forum.

[rosewine]

I can commiserate about being on a guilt trip. If we have been brought up on the work ethic and by a Dad that would rather starve than rely on benefits it is ingrained in us to provide for ourselves. My OH and I never thought we would both be applying for benefits a year apart after working all our lives and we actually at the time felt a shame about it. I had been an advisor for about 20 years and part of it was advising on benefits never thinking I would ever be sitting at the other side if the desk.

I think as well when you have taken masses of qualifications as I did and struggle to get a position you love you think of the waste but don't go on the guilt trip as you have worked hard and it is not your fault you have ended up in this unfortunate position. You haven't let anybody down it is your body that has let you down. There are masses of people far less deserving than you quite happy to be on benefits. I do hope you get th benefits you deserve. Please let us know how you you get on.x.

[TheAuthor]

Hi bcourt

I am so genuinely sorry to read of how you are feeling about not being able to work, and I sincerely hope that you can come to terms with having to claim benefits. I perosnally believe that nobody who is disabled or chronically ill should ever feel guilty about making use of a safety net that is there for this purpose. There are enough people out there who would want you to feel guilty without adding to this my friend. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[bcourt in reply to TheAuthor]

Sorry I think I pressed the report button instead of reply!!...Thought I'd let you know the DWP phoned today and said they have turned down my manditory appeal and the decision is in the post. So another court hearing to go to. Best let Janet know too.

[TheAuthor in reply to bcourt]

Hi bcourt

I am so genuinely sorry to read this, and I sincerely hope that you can win your case in court. Hopefully Janet will have some good advice for you. Please take care of yourself my friend.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Shortstuff2]

I am totally with you. I worked hard as a single parent, gained my degree and post graduate degree and had a great job. Felt proud of myself for achieving what I did as a single mum and then fibro took hold. I tried changing jobs, going part time in a non professional role just to keep me working, but I've had to give in and like you, I feel guilty and ashamed, but it isn't our fault. I so hope that I can manage this again and get back into the workplace, but being dismissed on grounds of capability makes me worry that nobody will touch me when I am ready to get back, especially in a professional role 😢

Just got to keep thinking that this is some temporary help to see us through a bad time. We've contributed to tax etc and at the moment we need to dip in - it is what it is there for.

Sending hugs xx

[bcourt in reply to Shortstuff2]

Me too!! seems we took the same pattern in life. Must of been all the stress that did it

[Shortstuff2 in reply to bcourt]

I do sometimes wonder that, but I enjoyed it - loved the pressure of working, but maybe the added pressures of home life and zero support tipped me over the edge! Hope you feel a bit happier soon x

[bcourt in reply to Shortstuff2]

yes, am sure its the tipping over the edge that did it.

[Bambamsnan]

Please try not to feel guilty it's hard I no I have been on the sick from my work for over 12 months it was a job I loved it get esa and I have just been awarded pip I did feel guilty at 1st but it is for people like me and you and all fibro suffers

Sending hugs Carol x