Trying to remain positive when you fe... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

56,975 members65,133 posts

Trying to remain positive when you feel all is against you...

G4AUD profile image
16 Replies

Since I was diagnosed with fibro gradually one by one I have lost friends as I was the lively fun loving party girl now all I want is to get home feet up and p.j's.

When I do make the effort to go out I normally feel so exhausted I'm not able to enjoy myself . I miss the fun of going out but I know I just can't do it so i concentrate on the things that make me happy and spend my time with the people that understand and care . The people that are no longer in my life or your life are not worthy of our friendship .

But ... Sometimes all I do is work come home work come home I get very lonely and very down . I totally understand what all my fellow fibro friends are going through. It's so hard to be positive but never ever give up hope be happy with the present the past is the past and no one knows what the future holds but we all can have a fantastic time finding out making new friends along the way X

16 Replies

I know how you feel I have lost all my so called friends and even family members think I am playing the victim I won't love my old life back but try as I do its just not going to happen it's so hard to make the adjustments when you are in the dark ast to what will come next I have ra and secondary fibromyalga this group has been a godsend to me I wish you well

G4AUD profile image
G4AUD in reply to

To lose the support of friends is difficult but family members must be upsetting . Have you given them reading material I fibro as non of my family had ever heRd of the condition and having all the information to read about the condition made it so much easier for them to understand and support me.

I really wish you well x

in reply to G4AUD

Well I understand what you say but I should not have to explain my self there respect and love should have been all that was needed

G4AUD profile image
G4AUD in reply to

Family love should be unconditional I know it must be very difficult not to get that when you really need it the most .

hi there G4aud.sorry to hear you have fibro.i for one can associate with everything you say.i dont know if you are new to the forum,anyone on here will offer you advice and support we dont always get from those who know us b ut dont understand fibro.

claires34 profile image

You really do find out who your real friends are when you have our condition I have been in your situation too all i can say is They are not worth it, Move on and you will find other friends easier said than done but it will happen keep positive and look after yourself

Claire xx

G4AUD profile image
G4AUD in reply to claires34

Hi Claire

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I've found out the the negative responses I have been getting since finding out I have fibro is just due to pure ignorance . Because we have no visible signs of a chronic illness it's just not taken seriously .

Thank goodness for these forums where we can talk to people who really do understand how we feel.

I wish you well x

in reply to G4AUD

its not just with fibro but other conditions too,

Most of my friends were work mates. I lost all of them when the Lab we worked at was closed down.

Until then my fibro symptoms were quite mild but went on the rampage two or three days before i was due to start another job.

Fibro has settled down since but not enough to allow me to go back to work.

I keep in touch with my old friends on Facebook and all my new friends are on this site.

I do go to the occasional family get together but both hubby and i are always pleased to get away before things get too noisy.

Sue :)

rosewine profile image

Yes we do have to learn to accept a new reality and also realise the friends we lose were not true friends but it can be very difficult for a healthy person to understand this often invisible illness I have difficulty understanding the complexity of it myself. Yes it can be very isolating and make existence very lonely fortunately we have people on here who understand and hopefully we can all be friends and support each other.x

G4AUD profile image
G4AUD in reply to rosewine

I know after writing my post today and receiving so many encouraging responses it has made me feel more positive about my situation knowing you all understand and care . What a genuinely helpful forum this is.

Annieblue profile image


Sorry to hear that you lost the so called friends that you worked with. We know in our heads that they were not real friends, but it still hurts. Harder to deal with I think is the change in who we are now, or rather what we are able to do and it is good to hear you sounding positive about the future. I can't help but see myself as a shadow of the person I was before. I have lost confidence in myself and probably cut myself off from people and situations as a result.

This is obviously not the way to go, and I think it takes time to firstly manage the illness as well as possible and then certainly for me, sort out who I am now, and what I can do rather than what I can't.

All best wishes for you and the future xx

Annie xx

G4AUD profile image

Annie ... It saddens me to hear how we all are and how we are all going through the same emotions and difficulties with this as rosewine described it above an invisible illness.

Last year mon to fri consisted of me getting up going to work bring so exhausted coming home and going to bed 8/8.30 then repeat . Not the ideal life I'd choose I didn't see or speak to anyone most nights . I really want to make sure I do something more positive this year to stop the feeling of isolation from the world . Please don't feel your alone enrol in an evening class go on a course all the things I am in the process of trying to do now .

I really wish you all the best .

Don't ever give up x

Regnofibro1 profile image

🍹🍹🍹🍹To new friends along the way! I like that!!!

TheAuthor profile image

I am so genuinely sorry to read that you are suffering and struggling and that you are also losing your friends as a result. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck. Please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

G4AUD profile image

Thank you so much 😊

You may also like...