The Cuckoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!).
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "oh, drat," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the dog and far*ed."
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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
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A Bit of stretching of other's imagination.
My other dog 'ONSLOW' 
fibromyalgia and other issues
Love and other drugs.
