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Fibromyalgia Action UK
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hi all ,

i havent been on for ages so hello again to all and hope this finds you all ok x

i have the most embaressing question to ask and i hope its not too personal i had a lovely weekend with my ex partner who claimed ...he had feelings for me still i was so happy to hear this :) when he arrived we talked and then came the romantic bit!! but i was in soooooo much pain i ended up crying:( is this another part of fibro?? ( having sex that is was so so painfull) im sorry to be as i said so personal but needed to know :(( again hope this finds you all well lots of hugs xx

7 Replies

Hi Fairytails, please dont be embarrassed I think our sex lives do change kind of inevitable with the amount of pain we live with. This will vary from person to person but I am so glad you tried and enjoyed a biter sweet moment.

Take care



Hi Fairytails, likewise, please don't be embarrassed. It can be the same for men, too. Pain is a passion killer, as well as making physical things difficult. Do you ever wake yourself with a scream when you roll over on the bad arm/leg/neck or whatever's kicking off at the moment. And yes, we're all different and develop different coping mechanisms. I hope your ex is being genuine.

Gentle hugs and good fortune :) :)


Was the pain in your joints/limbs ("normal" fibro pain) or was it a sexual pain (such as being too dry or your muscles have locked up making you "too tight" for your partner to enter)?

I know it's personal and can be embarrassing if your not used to discussing such things, but the more information you can add to your question the better and more accurate the answers you'll get will be, hence my asking for more details

I hope you ex isn't trying to con you,



Hi fairytails, I also have problems in this area both because of pain and also just feeling so unwell and exhausted that I don't even want to contemplate sex but this makes me feel so sorry for my husband and I fear him finding someone else to have sex with like they often tell you men tend to stray if things aren't great in the bedroom department. I know my husband loves me and understands mostly my condition but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty about it. I think that with a condition like ours it's not surprising that we find sex painful or too exhausting and it's not good but what can we do, we can't change anything. Best wishes



Hi fairytails

Please do not feel embarrassed one iota, life always gives us ups and downs it's how we cope with them that really matters. My wife has Primary Progressive MS and we find sex impossible but our love for each other is enough. I know that she feels guilty about it no matter what I say to her as this is human nature!

Maybe given some time things will alter and you may be able to make love again, I know I don't need to tell you but being anxious will only make the situation worse. I sincerely believe that if we truly love one another then everything else is secondary.

All my hopes and dreams for you.

Ken x

1 like

Hi Fairytails,

I have the same problem, I am too tight for my husband to enter me, if we try to further our lovemaking, the pain is excruciating! We have been successful only once and when we finally got through the wall of tightness, we were tentatively able to continue! That was a happy day! I feel terribly guilty regarding my husband, this is not what he expected when we got married 7 years ago and it wasn't what I expected either!

I had a hysterectomy in 2008, and my sexual desire was taken away with it. If I could turn the clocks back, I wouldn't have had the hysterectomy because my sex drive was normal before that & I really miss it :-( I've had to endure some nasty treatments to try & get it back, but none have them have been successful. Amongst other treatments, the one that stands out as the most uncomfortable was the testosterone implant I had to have every three months& it still didn't work! They used to cut my belly open, about half an inch, with no pain relief, then they put it in & stitch me back up! The last time I had it done, I got an awful infection, so me & my hubby decided not to have it again.

Sorry, my love, I've digressed. You could go to your doc & explain what happened & see what they say or a sexual health clinic? My advice would be to nip it in the bud if you can because the longer you leave it, the tighter you might be.

I hope this helps, just give me a shout if you want to discuss it further, I don't find this kind of thing embarrassing at all :-)

Peace & love, sister xxx


hello and thankyou to everyone that has answered me xx in answer to the questions asked and again embarressed it was inside me:( i felt like i was going to open up :(( i too have had a hysterectomy but that was a good 10yrs ago but ive never experienced pain like this even now a couple of days after i feel like ive been booted there:(* and as for him.....think ive been used .....again! when will i learn! thankyou again and hope i havent been too personal and hope everyones feeling ok lots of hugs to all ...alexandra xx


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