Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Grieving my old life

Hey guys and girls, im 33 think ive had fibro since teen years however only been diagnosed 6 months. I am finding it really hard to except and have been going down hill fast, almost like im grieving the old me. Did anyone else find it hard coming to terms with?? I almost feel like I wish I never knew. My husband has recently left me and nicknames me sicknote. My family dont understand and refer to fibro as m.e or yuppy flu. I feel like all I do is moan so iscolated myself from friends too. Guess im looking for someone that understands as clearly noone in my life does right now.

4 Replies

Hi Paula

I know exactly where you are coming from. My GPs and other consultants told me a had a back condition plus sciatica which went on for years then finally after having to get a private diagnosis was told I had fibro & lupus like illness. I'm only 35 and it does get to me so your not alone. I get really frustrated, angry, stressed, down and upset because I simply cannot do the things and how I feel. I try my best and try to think positive and just do what I can do but that's easier said then done. I'm struggling to cope with life at the mo too and it doesn't help with all the other stress and worry I've got which make things worse. Your not alone were all in the same boat, some worse than others but we understand. I find this website is brilliant as you can talk to others with the same condition who undetstand. I'm always here is you want to talk, I find it helps and your more than welcome to private message if you wish to chat privately. Take care ;-) Lucy

P.S, hope your ok xx


I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low. By the time I was diagnosed, I was so relieved to finally have a diagnosis, after every test showed nothing. I did feel very much like a hyperchondriac, as every time I went to the Dr, I had a new symptom that was bizarre and nothing showed up in tests. I have had fibro for 14 years now, but was only diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago. Since diagnosis, my Dr has been very supportive. My family and friends don't really understand, because the trouble with fibro is that you don't look ill, but often feel like death warmed up. My family do try to be supportive, so I don't feel completely alone.

As you get on with living with the illness, you will learn to cope more and start to understand it a bit more. However, flare ups do happen and they are not pleasant when they do. I am still learning how to pace myself and don't always do a very good job at it. I hope you are able to find some good friends who understand what it is you are going through.

If you want to explain to people what it is, the most comprehensive explanation I have found is from the NHS. Go to this link:

The symptoms page is the most comprehensive I have found and hopefully will help others understand your illness to a certain extent.

Don't suffer alone. There are many people out there who can support you and understand what you are going through.


Hiya Paula I too grieving my old life I'm 32 Hun the way my fibro appeared has made me quite bitter I was diagnosed 3 yrs ago this summer at first my mum and I was like boost finally know what's wrong but thought wouldn't be so difficult to live with if was mild but sadly my fibromyalgia is off the scale bad doc says its good to know I was right all this time that something was wrong and wasn't in my head attitudes I've had from docs through growing up sucked so was great to prove to them all

don't miss the old life as was horrific but I do miss the physical doing all the things I did with friends socialising everything that's wrong with me is all linked to my past and it hurts so bad emotionally mental health doc says I will always find it difficult to except everything wrong with me I take it day by day I've lost many friends since all my health I'd never run out on them but they did on me cause I canna take part in their social life I hope you have some nice friends that stick by u Hun I know who my true friends are now I used to think childhood mates would be special friendships not true it can be anyone you meet in the here and now gentle hugs I hope in time the loss for u and me and others lifts everyone on here is so lovely gave me advice etc and I'm grateful no one will upset you here great site this I told my mum we are the fibro family sisters and brother fibromites made her chuckle and me glad found this page all the best KEZA x



yes, me too. I think we have to go through a bereavement process and because it IS a process, not an event, it takes time to reach acceptance. I used to be a ballet dancer, now I can't dance and I hate it. I just need to find a ways to dance with the FMS dragon.

I know it is hard but I have a cutting on my bedroom mirror that says " Don't be afraid to be the person you have become". It reminds me that I still have life ahead of me, not what I planned but ther is still a life that can be enjoyed. We just need to work out what that way is for each of us.

Don't give up on yourself, be gentle with yourself at all times and gradually educate those around you as to what your life is like. I recommend printing off copies of the "The Spoon Theory" on www.butyoudon'

I found handing out those to people who didn't get it, really helped.

And come here and offload. This palce has saved my sanity even though I don't post every day.

Gentle hugs



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