Need someone to talk too. Finding things difficult

[Zforsyth]

Hi all I just want someone to talk to who understands . My husband is my full time carer and is very understanding and a great listener but I want to try and go back to be more husband and wife rather that carer and patient. I have only been married for 4years.

I have fibromyalgia lupus sle chronic fatigue syndrome depression and generalised anxiety disorder. Would love to have a chat with someone

[Jackieblu]

Hi Zforsyth it's sometimes hard to just try and be yourself without all the things that's wrong with you! I find I talk to much about my ailments it's hard to just forget about them and just a be Jackie for a while! It must be hard with your husband bein with you all the time,try and set aside a few hrs a week for a date night with him and see if that will help! Stick with your designated time just for romance and nothing else! My husband and i have been married for 28 yrs this sat and we try to have special time together as he works a lot! We've decided on havin a nice meal and just relaxin for the rest of the day! Make it fun,give it try and see how you get on! Jx

[Zforsyth in reply to Jackieblu]

Hi jackieblu

Yeah we do have good times??don't think I explained it very well. Hubby is brilliant and very loving and caring ..... It's just I feel like I am a burden to him as at the moment he has to do everything including washing me etc. I guess I feel sorry for myself. He says I am great wife and have big heart. I just wish I could feel more like a wife than a patient. We go out when I am well enough but I guess when things are bad I see the worst situation.

[Jackieblu in reply to Zforsyth]

Hi Zforsyth I get you,yeah I know what your meanin,it is rather difficult when your feelin your just a burden to your family! Bet when you get down to it and ask them they don't feel that at all! I'm the same sometimes it makes you feel you just want to do stuff by yourself but its not possible! May be have a wee chat with your local CAB office to see if there's something out there for you! Take care! X

[Hidden]

Hi,

I have had the same problem and I used the "Gateway" facility to self-refer myself to some counselling. They give you 6-12 sessions and it's completely confidential of course.

It saved me venting/talking things through with my girlfriend as much - although they still need to be aware of your daily challenges as they change - it was a great sounding board and I found it very helpful.

There should be a link to it from your local council website.

Good luck... I know this is a hard thing to try and separate in a manageable way.

Take care

Gary x

[Zforsyth in reply to Hidden]

Hi Gary

I too have used gateway in the past and currently doing CBT but not short term. I have been going for over 12months now. This is because I was referred by the mental health hospital in Plymouth. I am learning techniques which have helped some of the time but the general aches and pains and mood swings I don't think they cover. I feel like a moaner when I speak to any care professional even though I know they are there to help. I don't think anyone can fully understand what our conditions are like even the doctors. As although they study about it, it's completely different to have to live with it day in day out.

I am glad you have got your confidence back. I will try and speak to my therapist about my current concerns and see how it goes.

Moan over lol thanks for the reply ??