embarrassed to admit this

[mariamay]

Hi, This is so hard for me to admit but i think i might be developing a problem with drink as i find with my pain killers it helps the pain. So every afternoon i start drinking beers and this seems to help me manage my pain. I am afraid to tell the doctors this as they dont seem to understand how i am feeling. On top of this they have stopped my anti depressants so i have been on a real downer for the lasdt week. They never even weened me off them. We had been planning on going for one more round of ivf this year after losing our triplets last july. But now i don't know if my body could cope with pregnancy. I feel so down. sorry for my grumbling, i just cant see and end to all this.

[Hidden]

Firstly let me offer my sympathies for the loss of your babies ... That in itself would add to the stress of fibro and your depression.... Secondly you need to go to see a GP .. ASAP . If at all possible NOT the one who just stopped your anti depressants that is just so wrong .. On all levels . You can go into withdrawal symptoms plus your depression obviously will remain the same or get worse.... So you do need to see a GP to put you back on some antidepressants or reassure you that you are not getting withdrawal symptoms.... Secondly you need a med reveiw to find meds that will help to manage your pain and that will help to make things a little easier... You really do need to tell a GP about your drinking ... As it could affect the pain meds you are taking ... Thirdly I would Definately ask your GP if they can refer you to councelling. It's no wonder you are drinking you are grieving for the loss of your babies and you are in pain and you have been taken off anti depressants just when you need them. You may find if you can get the right meds and some councelling you won't feel the need to drink because the pain meds are doing their job and councelling will help with the grief you are going through again maybe stopping the urge to drink. Only you know how you feel about another round of IVF but I really think you need to get your body back on a even keel before you try another shot at it.

Please please find a sympathetic GP and tell them everything ... If you can't face talking print off your blog here any decent GP will read that and understand what you need

Good luck and please let us know if you get any help from your GP

VG x

[munchkin62]

oh mariamay I feel for you im so sorry to here about your sad loss and totally agree with vg you need to see a dr as soon as possible I am a recovering alcoholic and what you have done on here admitting it is so very brave but is also the first step in getting better its also the hardest so well done for that alone most gp,s are very understanding your anti-deppresents should not of been stopped that's quite obviouse just by reading your post there are lots of alchol advice lines you can call to don't be scared they have been were you are now and have only your intrests at heart I hope you seek some help and send you loads of warm hugs xx

[justlilme]

mariamay i really do want to help i recently qualified as a substance counsellor please feel free to pm me we can talk in private and confidential and i am glad you have spoke out thats a good sign asking for help and advice xxx

Kerry

[tulips123]

Well, you must be feeling like nothing on earth. Years ago, I watched a close friend go through the ivf, those injections turned her into an absolute wreck. And then to loose triplets! I feel so much for you right now. If you dont feel you could cope with a pregnancy, you need to hold off for the time being, until you can get back on your feet. You must be worn to a frazzle. You have recognised the alcohol is becoming a problem, perhaps that is a by-product of your (understandable) distress? You def. need to speak to a dr. If you dont trust the one you're with, please look for a new one. Are you and your OH able to talk together? If not, I'm sure he is suffering too, and perhaps you could comfort each other.

Either way, you cant go through this alone, nobody could. And you need professional advice. Let us know how things go? xx

[Malwimmy27]

No wonder you feel so terrible. Im really sorry to hear about the loss of your babies.

At least you recognise you may have a problem with alcohol, please take justlilme's advice. Please keep us updated. I really hope you manage to get the help tou need and deserve. Becky. Xx

[Hidden]

Hi

Nothing more to add really than what has already been said, I lost my son at 28 weeks 19 years ago and had 2 further miscarriages so I understand how you feel. As the others said the biggest step is admitting you have a problem, after that it can get easier. I wish you all the luck in the world and please get some help, you deserve better than this.

[Hidden]

Mariamay x I'm so sorry you're going through this. Having a problem with drink is filled with all sorts of guilt and taboo....but it is just another mis understood illness. If you look for the main AA number or google alcoholics anonymous uk....you will find people who understand and can help and support you.

Its important to gp to the gp to discuss medications and drug interactions but most do not understand the compulsion to drink just as they don't understand ME.

The main AA helpline is 24 hours and the help they offer is free

I'm not an alcoholic myself but know many who have been in recovery a long time. Most have other issues such as depression.

Lovely people x

How it works is you find others you can talk openly and honestly to because their story is similar to yours. The miracles that happen there really are amazing.

With that sort of support you will soon find that the other issues begin to sort out.

Admitting it is such a major step....

I really hope you seek them out. Feel free to pm me anytime x

[Hidden]

Sorry.my comment repeated. I had to delete 4 lol

[Sammicat15]

Sending you loads of e-hugs Maria for the pain you are in. My heart goes out to you. You've suffered such alot and it's no wonder you're at a standstill.

IMO it's not the drink that is the problem, but grief combined with the sudden cessation of your antidepressants. You need active management by a medical team in order to get you in shape for another round of IVF.

I was going to have IVF and know that you need to be clean of all substances. But you need support to get you there. Please, please, I urge you to see your GP for a review and a medical programme agreed between you.

Please know that you are not alone and there are many on here who would want to help you, however they can.

[pondminstrel]

hi pet,do not feel embarrassedt!..i am a recovering alcoholic and have been dry for 7 years..if you had a large sore on your arm you would get it seen to so its the same with booze..it needs attention..if you want to chat please contact me and i will be more than happy to be your support,you are not alone and you would be supprised how many people feel that they drink to much,i went to AA on my own,and there is nothing to be scared of,as everyone in that room is in the same boat,,jenny xxxx

[mariamay]

Just wanted to say thank you to all that messaged me. I was in tears as i read them all. I never knew that there were so many people that cared let alone possibly understand what i have been ceeling. You all really hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much. I will try and get a doctors appointment next week. I will keep you updated. Xxxxxxx