Fertility, Miscarriage & IVF Support by MamaBe
1,263 members633 posts

ttc for 9 yrs

Hello everyone! I’m 47, married, no kids. My DH and I have been TTC for 9 years already. I’ve got pregnant in 2012, but there was problem with my kidneys and doctors had to terminate pregnancy. There is a very high risk for me to get pregnant again. We decided to use services of surrogate mother. Surrogacy is forbidden by law in our country and we are looking for options abroad. Which country is better to go? Which clinics are better to address? How long it takes to find sm? I read that sometimes it takes years. Is that true? I’m not getting any younger. I’m afraid that my eggs won’t be valid in a couple of years. I don’t want to lose time. I’m afraid it may be too late for us and there will be no chance to become parents.

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I'm so sorry about your situation dear! You made a right thing you came here. We are all in the same boat. Who else can understand better than we do? It was also hard for me to open up to people I don't know. But here we can receive support and understanding which sometimes we can't get from our family or friends. I know how hard it is to find a clinic. Recently I was in your shoes. Though search can take some time but eventually you'll find the best place for you! We found clinic in Europe. They've already found sm for us and we are waiting for our baby to see the world) I wish you good luck with your search!

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Thank you so much for support! My congratulations! I'll consider your advices. It's so nice to talk to someone who is at the same boat. We've been TTC for so long... To be honest I'm exhausted. I want my surrogacy journey to start as soon as possible. I'm tired of waiting and hope for nothing. I believe surrogacy will give us a chance to live happily. I also decided to concentrate on European clinics. They have pretty reasonable prices. USA prices so high I doubt we can afford to have surrogacy there. I hope I'll find something during next month. Don't want to waste time any more. I'll update as soon as there will be some news.

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Hey, I can completely understand your situation. I know that this can get extremely difficult. 9 years is a very long time period. The process you are talking about has proven to be highly successful for so many couples. It has 75% chances of success. For the process, there are few things that I believe are really important. Make sure that you search about the country and its legal law before visiting it. In a lot of countries, the process is not even legal. My suggestion to you also would be to make sure that the clinic you visit is operating at a high success rate. Read the clinic's code of conduct and policies. Also, go through the reviews of the clinic. These things will help increase the chances of your success. Good luck to you. I hope everything goes well for you. If you need help with anything do let us know.

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Hello honey! With each day I'm more and more convinced that surrogacy is the best option for me to have children. Thank you for your advices! I read much information about European reproductive centers in the internet. I will definitely look more into them. There are really many professional clinics. The only thing which left for me is to find the best one. I hope to find as much information as I can to make my journey not perfect but at least to have as less troubles as I can. I know we can't predict everything but at least I can do my journey as smooth as I can.

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Hey honey. How are you doing? I hope you're in great health. These things can be a little tough. If you're choosing an option. Just go for it. Don't look back. If you can bear the pain of infertility for 9 years. Nothing else can stop you. If you need to visit a great country. I recommend Ukraine for surrogacy. They are the best. If you need more help. PM me and we can talk about it. Nothing to worry about. Much love to you.

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Hi dear! I really appreciate your support. Your words are so inspiring! Everything you've told is true. Nothing should stop me from my desire to have children. I want this more than anything else. Actually now it's the only thing I want in my life. We've been trying to conceive for so long... There is nothing I can do to return all the time back. So now I can't let myself to waste any minute. Thank you for sharing the details of surrogacy process. I will consider everything you've told. We've been thinking to ask someone a relative or a friend to be our surrogate. But we changed our mind. It will be better to you services of a stranger. I hope to find center or clinic which will rule the whole process.

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Hello everyone who is reading my thread! Thank you so much for your replies! I wasn't active for a while... I haven't done any research on surrogacy during more than a week... It makes me so angry at myself that I'm wasting time, but... There is a reason for my inaction. I don't want to whine and complain. I know that doing those things is just a waste of time. But I feel like I need to talk to someone. It feels like the whole world is against our intention to have a baby. Last week I met my old friend. We studied in college together. We met in a local supermarket. She was with her kids, 9 and 2 yo. Of course she started to ask about my kids and I told her I don't have one. And she was so shocked! She was looking at me like I'm crazy person. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment is to disappear. I wanted to explain myself and I don't know how this happened but I told her that we are planning to have surrogacy. Usually I don't tell about it and only the closest people know about it. And what do you think she told me? "Oh honey, don't be stupid. It's too late for you. Just let it go." And she was stupidly smiling and she had that dumb smirk on her face as if she knows everything about me and can tell me what I have to do with my life. Not only I was mad at her, but I was mad at myself. Why? Why have I told that bitch about surrogacy? Why I even care what she thinks? I have so many thoughts in my head now! I'm so angry! Why do I care what someone who means nothing for me thinks about my choices? And I'm just sitting here, doubting my intentions to have surrogacy. What if she's right? What if it's too late for us? I hate this.

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Hey Elina. How are you darling? I hope you're great. Don't worry about your friends. Don't worry about anyone other than you. This is stupid to even let people tell you what to do. If you wanna go with surrogacy. Really go with it. Don't look back. Trust me I know. Ukraine will be amazing once you're through with them. I've read hundreds of positive testimonials. So you have nothing to worry about. The costs will be low, and everything will be fine. So take the leap hun. Much love.

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Excuse me, lovelies, I know posters on here are from different countries but I'd never recommend the US for surrogacy. We've been through ourselves in Europe, but before heading off there spent a lot of time on self educating and evaluating the facts within countries. I absolutely can't stand the point that in some US states the surrogates may keep the babies after delivery if they change their mind.. Or that they are considered to be the legal mothers of babies. So that then you have to go to the court to adopt your babies..Besides all those cons the process there is incredibly expensive! One should look for at least $40k - 80k (In case you have a nice family member or a friend who's willing to carry the baby for you..In case you need the surrogate from the agency etc. you'll expect those sums be much higher). I've never happened to see any of the guaranteed plans among its clinics. You know, those of ''live birth or money refund.'' Though such plans could be seen in ukraine. Actually this made us move further in this very direction. Costs - 50k euros for the package, meds & guarantee included. Waiting time - 4 mons+9 mons. Outcome - a beautiful healthy girl :) Do feel free to pm if any questions.

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