I’m in floods of tears writing this after an argument with my Mum and Husband. I might be a little hormonal and sensitive being 35 pregnant with sperm donor twins. We have a 4 year old son born from ICSI after a successful sperm retrieval operation over 5 years ago, we weren’t so lucky when we tried for a sibling and after many failed attempts with very poor quality sperm we decided to take this route.
My husband brought up in conversation tonight with my Mum that the babies are from a donor. My Mum already knew this but jumped at the chance to ask questions, I appreciate she’s curious and also feels she would like to be supportive. The trouble is.... ever since I told her I’ve cringed at the terminology she uses for example, after we told her I was pregnant, “can I just ask.... these babies are not _____’s right?”....... tonight she used the words “will these babies at some point get to know who their Daddy is?”........
This isn’t the first time I’ve corrected her but tonight I asked if I could just please correct her terminology. These babies ARE my husbands, make no mistake they would not be here had it not been for him. Also the term is ‘The Donor’ not “the daddy” as my husband will be their Daddy. Instead of just apologising and saying she will use the correct terms she said “oh he knows what I mean”..... This then lead to me getting even more annoyed and eventually my husband (who was annoyed that he thought I was upset on his behalf) storming out and my Mum doing the same.
The thing is, I wasn’t upset on his behalf, I genuinely cringe at these terms and the thought that anyone would ever look at things this way. My husband says I should be more tolerant as it’s all knew to her and that I was harsh.
I genuinely don’t know why I’m the bad guy here...... also concerned that I might be more worried and more sensitive about all this than I thought.