I feel so numb and just want closure

[Jmaw]

After a third fail IVF with donor eggs there’s no money for us to pay for any more treatment. We had the last two eggs transferred 2nd May and had a negative result on test day (Tuesday). Have to take another test tomorrow because I’ve had no bleeding yet. That’s it for us now and we are devastated. I just want closure now x

[penny24]

I’m so sorry to read this. I can only imagine ur pain. This journey is so unfair. Wishing u luck for your test tomorrow xx

[Jmaw in reply to penny24]

Thanks penny it’s the hardest thing to go through and I really don’t want to do it again. We’ve spent absolutely thousands on it and money aside, it’s emotionally draining also.

My little boy is totally out of routine when I miscarry and knows something is wrong. We are going to an adoption information event in about 5 weeks, so have something to look forward to now. My husband is totally up for it which is a bonus because he’s felt really awkward throughout the IVF process. I think it’s mainly due to the fact he was conceived and born naturally. His ‘macho’ pride is tarnished I think hiding in the car park every appointment and not even telling his own mother we are having treatment. It’s been a total secret.

The main reason why I joined this forum was because I can’t talk to him and he’s really shy talking to councillors etc. I don’t think he realises that before you adopt you have to have training and get interviewed. That WILL be interesting!........

[angellllll]

I am extremely sorry to hear about the pain you had to go through. Going through secondary form of infertility can be even harder and a lot of people don’t realize that. You indeed are a very strong woman who had to deal with so much torment and pain. Procedures like IVF and IUI can be unpredictable as you are never so sure if the process will work out or not. They are also very expensive one of the reasons why even thinking about the process gives me goosebumps. Honestly, speaking it is okay to give yourself and your body rest. As these treatments almost take away half of your life. They require you to inject shots they cause you anxiety and so much more. So it is totally fine to rest up and in this situation I would suggest you meditate. Meditation does help in curing the body spiritually and mentally. When I was facing a similar situation I too thought that all the doors had closed upon me. However, I went for surrogacy and I think that was a wise decision to take. As at least it gave me the guarantee that I would definitely become a mother. I hope your last test gives you the positive news. I believe a little hope is always there hoping that somehow something good happens.

[Jmaw in reply to angellllll]

Thanks for your reply, lovely but I got a BFN Friday and stopped my medication. Bleeding and cramps currently. Going to see our consultant 2nd June for follow up appointment. Husband definitely won’t go for surrogate, it took me weeks to persuade him to use donor eggs. We have decided to go for adoption now. ❤️

[angellllll in reply to Jmaw]

Opting for adoption is also not a bad idea at all. I hope you are able to soon find peace and love in your life. Life can be really tough when you are going through such circumstances. I do remember how much difficult it was for me to convince my husband to even visit the doctor with me for the first time. Husbands I think are shy but also want to make sure that we are okay. I was able to convince him and I am glad I was but obviously not everything can be the way we want it to be. So best of luck to you for the future. I hope that kid brings a bundle of joy in your life.

[Jmaw in reply to angellllll]

Thanks angellllll I will let you know how I get on at my information evening we are going to soon. Yes and I know what you mean, men are a really different species aren’t they 😂