Why does everyone disagree with my plan of IVF and becoming a single mom?

[LinLinn]

I'm single, 31 years old and I don't think that I would want to marry one day. But I desperately want to have a child and it's so painful that my family and friends are against it.

[sweetpepper]

I think that people generally are scared for people who on purpose and willingly want to complicate their lives.

Mostly because there is the issue of finance, issue of sleep deprivation and post partum depression and just full blown exhaustion.

Being a single parent is not a walk in the park or a piece of cake, but then again parenting never is.

The child is going to have questions about the spermdonor but you have time to think about what to answer her/him.

Children without so called rolemodels of their own gender grow up just fine too, and the rolemodel must not be a parent, it can be a grandparent, a friend of the family, a teacher a coach or maybe even the neighbor.

If you have thought this through, you have some cash saves up and a huge desire to be a mom...Then why not do what you want to do?

[StephyBuch]

I believe it's totally a woman's personal decision if and when they want to have a child of their own. So, if you have the means and your land's law allows it go for being a mother. It's not a man that makes you a woman but the child you spun in your womb... plus it's a wonderful experience the whole of it. I don't see anything amiss if you want to be a single mom. However, why IVF?? Is there are infertility issues? I presume you haven't TTC yet to know if there's any. Donor conception should be just fine and you might not even need the IVF. I'd say if you make up your mind please try naturally for donor conception before heading to IVF. Wish you luck for getting pregnant!

[LinLinn in reply to StephyBuch]

Thank you a lot, Stephy, for your support! I don't know if I have any infertility issues but it's pretty common for women of my age, so I'm ready to meet any possible problems^

[StephyBuch in reply to LinLinn]

I presumed that! 31 is usually considered as a good reproductive age it all starts deteriorating after 35. However, you can always find women in their late 30's or early 40's with the vitals of 25 years old and that kind of help in keeping the reproductive system fully functional. Now back to your problem, you might not even need an IVF to get pregnant - I wanted to propose donor conception. You don't know of any infertility issue that might interfere, so just try getting pregnant with donor sperms. That way you'll know if you'll need any clinical assistance for getting pregnant as well if that fails. Also, there's no decision bigger than your willingness to be a mother... with or without a partner. As long as you can support the upbringing of the child both time and money-wise, go for it. Let, me know if you need any help with information on donor conception... will be happy to help. Take care!

[Karinyaa]

Hi! I'm so sorry about that! I have absolutely nothing about such a decision! Being a solo mum is rewarding. And I'm for your desire to become a mom. No matter being alone or with a partner. I think generally someone who becomes a single mother by choice is in a far stronger position than a woman who becomes one through circumstance. I mean, I've always been of the belief that no one should have to have a partner in their lives to feel complete, and I feel sad when I see so many people who remain in bad relationships because they can't face being alone. My last long term relationship was a bit of a disaster, and it ate up most of my thirties leaving me too battle scarred to ever manage to meet anyone else.There can be many reasons for us mums to be solo or not, but whatever, the circumstances, what unites us is the desire to follow what we want out of life (our gorgeous children) without the stress of men