Finding a surrogate mother...

[Alessia]

Hello everyone. How are you all doing today? I hope that things are fine at your end! I am sorry if this post isn't that exciting or something like that. I just wanted to share my thoughts and feeling with you all. I hope that you can understand how I feel and maybe I can find somebody to talk to.

A month ago my husband and I started our long journey of surrogacy! We live in Italy and we had no option but to go abroad. We found a clinic in Ukraine and have been waiting ever since for a surrogate. It seems that the majority of the women are either busy or just not a good match for us. The clinic informed us that the whole process might take more than 5 ot 6 months.... Which is really bothering me right now. I started this journey full of hope and excitement. Lately however I am slowly losing energy and I feel tired and more tired everyday. Anybody in the same shoes as me?

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Hey hun.

I couldn't read and run. You know I'm not in same shoes as you. But I just thought I'd offer a little support,

I can totally imagine how draining this whole procedure is. Waiting and trying to find a suitable match. 5-6 month is a long time lovely but maybe the clinic are giving you these times as a maximum time the perfect match could take. You need a perfect match hun and nothing worth anything special comes easy does it? If it came that easy we'd be doubting too good to be true, you see hun people in our sitltuations over analyze everything we can't rest properly in out heads constant thinking what if should we do this etc. Relax focus and go with it hun. You will get your match and she will be just perfect. Then you will get your baby and he/she will be perfect. The story of the elephant and dog come to mind here when your baby comes to this earth after sometime ppl will look and admire this child is something special. Keep resting keep living it will happen. You know where I am lovely. Keep strong like you already are 💗💗💗🤗😘 big hugs gorgeous lady xxx

[Alessia in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

That is an issue I have always had. Overthinking is a very dangerous thing. I hate myself for having it... However it is part of me and I cannot change it. What remains is to try and fight it. Maybe one day I will be able to conquer these nasty-as* thoughts.

I know that we ain't going through the same thing... However we are expiriencing the same hell. Saw this quote on tumblr once! We face the same hell just different daemons! That is a great way to describe our situation here.

At the end of the day I am glad I have friends like you... Ones that at least try to understand me. I do the same for you dear. You have my whole support dear. May god give you strength to overcome these things.

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Alessia]

I'm the same hun. I'm a big thinker I know it's hard but we can't change who we are your right.

Yes hun love that quote your right. Our goal is the same just different paths we're taking to get there.

I know you do hun I'm just letting you know no matter what is going on I can try to understand support and listen and try to advice you when things get tough. Lots of love lovely hope your ok 💗💗🤗😘😘

[Alessia in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

It's amazing to have each other. That much is obvious right? I hope things get better for you. I know you are strong... It is a painful truth but the strongest ones are the ones who are tested the most. As sad as this is, it's reality! God bless you! Try not to overthink so much!

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Alessia]

Yes I believe it hun I'm glad we've got each other most definitely your amazing 🤗And I'm a strong believer in the toughest ones get the toughest tests.I mean look at what we've been through and we're still smiling. Big hugs lovely 💗💗🤗😘😘

[StephyBuch]

Hi there, I might not sound like reciprocating your situation but after you read this you'll surely find the strength to hold onto it. Yes, getting the right match for surrogacy is a hard thing and nothing can help that really except a good old luck. It's at least a comforting news that you've to find a great clinic in Ukraine to help you with your process. I think 5-6 months time to find the right surrogate is much less a time that you'd have to invest with other clinics (from my usual experience) so you're certainly in the best hands in Ukraine. Also, after the years of TTC that you've been through a year's wait down the line to be a mother seems way to less and far more rewarding. Don't lose hope now - now that you're possibly only months away from success. I know the time is gloomy and there's no guarantee but with optimism comes success. You've endured the ordeal so far trust me you'll manage just don't let your griefs take you. The clinic is definitely doing their best if they gave you a 5 months wait time already and with that assurance you can certainly expect more chance of success with them. I'll direct my prayers to you so that you get a baby soon enough!! Stay calm stay resolute everything else will be just fine, God bless you!

[PolinaN]

Hi! Which clinic did you find? I did IVF in Kiev, and everything was fine. If you want, I can give you detailed information.

[Karinyaa]

Potential surrogates are matched with intended parents based on a variety of factors, including shared beliefs on issues like selective termination or what would happen in certain scenarios. I read somewhere the whole process generally lasts somewhere between 15 and 18 months from the moment an application is submitted until the intended parents are holding their newborn. However, there are no firm answers, as everyone’s situation is a little different and there are many variables. Here's approximate schedule.

Preliminary Assessments: 1-2 months.

Matching: 1-4 months. Clinic analyzes which surrogates and intended parents might make a good team. The individuals are given profiles of their ideal matches. Sometimes, matching can occur almost instantly, though other times it can take a few months before the right people have the opportunity to meet.

Doctor Visits: 2 months. Medical/IVF Visits: 2-3 months.

After all the preliminary steps are taken, the team finally begins to start the actual baby-making portion of the surrogacy process. One cycle of IVF typically takes four to six weeks.

Judging from this list your position is just good. Do not panic and stay positive, the things are going right. Hugs xx

[NatalieUa]

Dear Alessia, I'm sorry to hear that your way to motherhood is hard and so long. hope you will reach it as soon as possible. I have faced similar problem. Fortunately I requested to one of the leading centers of Ukraine. not sure if I'm allowed to write their name. but the information might help many couples. it's Center of reproductive medicine "New Life" in Ukraine.

best regards