Hi, i am 34 and have PCOS as well as high natural killer cells.
My first two rounds of IVF failed as the embryos did not implant, on my 3rd round we decided to have 2 embryo's implanted (i was lucky to have 6 that had been viable for freezing) and we got our 1st BFP but sadly miscarried both embryos at 6 weeks, i'd had no pain or bleeding, in fact i had been feeling amazing! but as i got up for one of my many toilet breaks in the middle of the night both of my beautiful embryos went...how do you ever get over having to push that flusher & watch your dreams disappear? I was left heartbroken and confused as to what i had done wrong, i'd eaten well, rested but also carried on with light walks, taken my folic acid and kept my mind positive.
My consultant then recommended we have a biopsy to test for high natural killer cells and so on we went with round 4 as a mock cycle for the biopsy - the results came back that i did have the high natural killer cells but hopefully with the help of intralipid IV infusions this would counteract these cells..and so from here we began round 5 feeling positive and optimistic and full of intralipids, our last 2 embryos were going to succeed and we would finally have our much longed for family!
I had both embryos implanted on the 8th January and on the 19th January i got my BFP...however this time i had started spotting the day before my BFP but was not overly concerned as it was very light and know it can happen and a good sign i was in no pain. come the 21st it developed into a mini period with light cramps and so my GP took bloods for my HCG, on the 22nd i miscarried how could this be happening again? my bloods were repeated and decreased dramatically. I have a scan today to confirm the miscarriage and that everything has gone. I have spent the last week bleeding so heavily i wonder how i am still standing, i have no pain still. It is such a cruel world & i don't understand why it had to end in heartbreak and devastation again. I'd done everything i could..accupuncture, intralipids, rest, folic acid, positive and happy mindset and now i don't know where to go from here. I know it is all raw and i am grieving but how do you carry on? The thought of giving up terrifies me but the thought of loosing more......
Life goes on hold yet again and is ruled by hospital appointments and hormones! but i need to be a mum, i need to keep going. I know so many of you ladies are in the same position as me...do you have any similar stories ending in success? How do you all keep going? How do you find 'hope' again?