In Limbo

Hi, I'm new to this forum stuff but after some devastating news on Friday I have done nothing but search the internet looking for stories like mine & praying for a miracle. My story is that i've had 3 failed IUI treatments over the past year & a half. On the 2oth August 14 I had 5 healthy eggs removed ready for the ICSI treatment. On day 3 i had 1 of the 2 surviving eggs popped back. The only other surviving egg was turning into a blastocyst & so the professionals waited for this to finish & then successfully froze it. On 3rd September after a HCG blood test we got the best news ever, the test came back positive. Me & my Husband started to see a little colour coming back into our lives & we felt we could start meeting up with friends & family again & socialising as we have distance ourselves from everything & everyone due to our circumstances. Last Friday (19th September 14) we went for our 6 week scan only to be told that we have a sac but no faetal pole or yolk. Our world has once again coming crashing down, any light we had has now returned to dullness. I've read so many pages / forums explaining & sharing stories that when they went back the week later for another scan there was a heatbeat & that they were getting good news. Although the nurse told us to basically prepare ourselves as what she was seeing isnt a good sign & isnt what she was hoping to see. I just have a gut feeling that we wont be getting good news. All my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared & i'm feeling so low. I now have these horrible Utrogestan capsules that need to be inserted with a applicator. They are really uncomfortable to use & since using them I have a dull ache. I'm asking myself over and over why me. Im not looking forward to this Friday as I know the news we get isnt gonna be good. I wish i could climb under a big rock & never come out. I feel so many emotions, angry, sad, devastated & most of all lonely!! being a mummy is all I want. x

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