I had been elated that after our third frozen transfer I had a positive pregnancy result and a heart beat at 7 weeks. At an early reassurance scan this wknd no heart beat was found. I should be 11w5days but foetus measured 10weeks and no heartbeat.
They’ve booked me an appointment with EPU next week where we can explore options of what next. 18 months ago I had an mmc at 7 weeks and took tablets at home. It was pretty painful and given I’m further on than that and because of past complications I’ll probably opt for a d and c.
We are obviously devestated and I feel just numb. We have one more baby in the freezer but can’t think about that right now.
I guess I’m posting to hear others experiences of early loss and whether people stopped or eventually had their rainbow baby. Just trying to feel less alone right now.
Thanks everyone xx
Written by
ShelleyBalders
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I am sorry that you are going through this. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in early December and previous year TDMR at 14 weeks, both times had a medical treatment. I agree that the further you are the more painful it is.
I have had 5 transfers so far and not had my rainbow baby yet but after allowing some time to grieve it helps me to plan next steps and don’t give up yet!
You are not alone. Feel free to PM me if you want to have a chat or have any questions xx
thank you for replying Lily and I’m so sorry to hear about your two loses too. It really is so painful. I really hope you have your rainbow baby this year.
Thank you for helping me feel less alone. I know miscarrriage is experienced by so many women but it can feel so isolating when it’s happening to you.
I’ve stopped my progesterone now and so that may cause things to happen but I remember from last time my body doesn’t want to give up easily so think medical intervention will be needed.
Taking time to grieve will be needed I’m not sure if I want to go on yet but will see how I feel in time.
Hi Shelley, that sounds really tough, having everything going so well and then the bad news
I had two early losses last year, a natural pregnancy that ended ectopic at 7 weeks needed surgery to remove the tube, and then from IVF a missed miscarriage with no sign of my body miscarrying after 8-9 weeks I went for the D&C. I wanted to go straight on and try again, so we went this time with donor eggs, thinking the failures have probably been due to my age and egg quality, praying for my rainbow baby, currently 5 weeks pregnant again, but after last year every day I feel like I’m just waiting for it to fail, not getting my hopes up too much!
Sending big hugs and hoping you stay positive, you’re definitely not alone here xx
Hello Debs, so lovely to hear you are now pregnant and so sorry you also had to go through two loses. I completely understand that anxiety and I can’t imagine not being anxious if I ever got pregnant again. Hope it continues to go well for you.
Did you decide it was your eggs as part of the issue or have other tests to discover this?
I was the same as you last time that my boat wouldn’t miscarry without intervention. I’m going to ask for a D&C this time.
Thank you for sharing and helping me feel less alone.
I knew I had very low AMH (under 1) from the clinic tests and some IVF places I contacted abroad advised not to even try with my own eggs, it was so low, but I wanted to try at least one time. Unfortunately only one egg was retrieved, which did fertilise and got to early blastocyst and was transferred, but ended in the MMC and D&C. If I’d had more eggs I would have got them genetic tested, but with such low egg numbers and my age (41) not getting any younger I decided the chances are just too low. Fingers crossed it will work out now this way, going for an early scan in a couple of weeks.
I also think D&C will be best, if it doesn’t happen naturally by then, I know how rubbish it is, I hope everything goes well for you xx
I'm so sorry. It happened to me twice on back to back fresh transfers and although was able to let them go naturally after coming off meds, it was so hard. Especially the first time as I'd never had a BFP in 7+years trying and I just thought we'd been incredibly lucky - started planning everything, when to tell people... The second time it didn't hit me as hard I think because I didn't let myself get excited. But also at that point I felt like something was fundamentally wrong and I began to despair that this would just keep happening. The only way I could deal (or tbh not deal) with it, was to straight into a FET. It's not right for everyone but the focus and little bit of hope kept me going. Before the FET I insisted the consultants answer my every single question and ensure we had tried absolutely everything. Didn't come up with much, bar progesterone, and the consultant thought it was just a numbers game, but I felt that at least I wasn't missing anything. That one worked and is my little girl. My advice is take as much or as little time as you need, ask questions, advocate for yourself and don't give up hope. You're super strong even if you don't feel it right now ☘️
Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry you went through your loses and wonderful to hear you have your daughter now.
I’m going to ask when I have a d and c if they can test to see if chromosomal problems were a cause. I’ve stopped taking the meds now too so it may happen naturally but didn’t last time.
I’m glad going straight back in helped for you. I’m not sure what to do yet. My last frostie didn’t meet all the criteria during first days but seemed to develop normally. I left it to last as it was my least strong we will probably transfer at some point though.
I am so sorry for your loss Shelley. I have had 2 miscarriages in the past, naturally conceived. One was a mmc detected at the 12 week scan but the pregnancy had stopped at 6 week and then one at 16 weeks. Both were devastating and the 16 week one was horrid. Whilst I lost some of the pregnancy for both I went on to have it removed for both. I eventually went on to conceive twice via ivf after they upped my progesterone. They started me on 3 pessaries but when they added the lubion injections that seemed to work better for me. Just mentioning this because of the research with Tommy’s around progesterone preventing miscarriage and to encourage you to speak to your consultant about this if you haven’t already.
Sending you so much love, miscarriage is so painful. It is a loss of life and it doesn’t matter how many people have been through it, it hurts and even more so after the journey you have been through.
Thank you. I agree It is so hard with infertility as it takes so much to get to one pregnancy and so the loss is so painful. The 16 week loss sounds very difficult.
It’s good to hear you did conceive with the IVF.
I was on quite a bit of progesterone but not Lubion whole way through. Something my clinic didn’t offer was progesterone bloods to check my levels which I think I’d ask for next time. Sometimes the EPU will test some tissue too with D&C so that may give me some more answers too.
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s just devastating - be gentle with yourself for a while. Sending you a big hug. We had a similar experience last May after a positive from second transfer of Round 2. At the 8 week scan we saw the heartbeat etc and we’re thrilled. Then, at the 12 week scan we got the news that there was no heartbeat etc. I’d stopped taking meds the Friday before the scan on Mon and I actually had the miscarriage on the Mon night at home. I was booked in for surgery at the end of the week but nature took its course. If you want to ask me anything about it, please feel free to message. It was such a shock at the time and has definitely shaken us as we move forward with future treatment. After a while, one of my coping strategies was to find the helpful amongst the shitness of it all. Just to reassure you, we did heal and keep going. Sending love xx
I’m so sorry for your loss, I know the pain, we all seem to unfortunately I had a traumatic, painful mc over Xmas and another in March last year. I know what you mean when you say you feel so alone. For me it comes in waves. It’s still very recent for me and I know it will get and in some ways has already got a bit easier. It hits you in the quiet moments. We’re taking some time to heal a bit, it’s what we need right now but we will move forward again in time. Wishing u love and luck on your journey xx
Hi Shelley, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly how it feels. I have had 2 x missed miscarriages and 5 chemical pregnancies, all conceived naturally. One of my mmc was at 6 weeks , and the other was 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat. I had a d and c the first time , and due to covid a mmr procedure (vacuum), the second time. 100% opt for the d and c. The mmr was horrific. I can say though that after my second round of ivf I'm sitting here with my little boy of 5.5 months who was born when I was 40. I have another embryo on ice. All my eggs.
It can happen but you have to be strong. Best of luck xxx
hi Shelley, reading your post and it’s exactly the same experience I had in April last year, so really sorry you’re going through this. I pushed for a d&c too, given the medical miscarriage I had the year before was so horrendous. I’ve not got my miracle yet, but about to start a FET on my 1 “normal” embryo - I decide to do pgta on a new set of embryos to reduce the risk of miscarriage. I’m not sure you ever get over baby loss, but I can say that it does get slightly easier 🌈 xx
Hello Bec thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you too. It’s so devastating.
I found with my MMC in 2021 that the hospital really pushed me away from D&C to do medical management at home. It was also very difficult and I’m going to stand my ground this time about the D&C.
I’m wishing you all the luck for this next transfer. Take care xx
I am so very sorry for what you are currently going through. This journey can be so cruel and unfair! I’ve had six early losses on a 5 and a half year journey. One chemical, 2 ectopics and 3 miscarriages. 2 of which were super early and one like yours last year following IVF where I went for my dating scan and there was no heartbeat. All of these losses remained unexplained.
After that, once we felt ready and strong enough to proceed we did our last NHS round of IVF which resulted in a negative pregnancy test and one final frozen embryo. We transferred that August this year thinking it was our final shot and am currently 26 weeks pregnant.
I have no clue why it seems to be working this time whilst all the others didn’t but am just taking each day as it comes.
Look after yourself at the moment, I did find speaking to the IVF counsellor helped a lot after my last miscarriage. Xx
Thank you for you sharing this. It’s such a hard journey to have a baby and yet so straight forward for others. I’m sorry for your losses bit so wonderful to hear you are now 26 weeks. Wishing you all the best xx
I’m so sorry for your losses Shelley. We have a similar story, we are 4 years into TTC and 2 years into IVF. So far 2 egg collections, 2 failed fresh transfers, 2 FETs which were successful and both had heartbeats at 7 weeks then passed away at 11 weeks and then just after 7 weeks. Both were missed miscarriages, likely due to the progesterone. Once stopping progesterone both times I miscarried the baby naturally 4 days later, but the latest loss I was still testing positive 8 weeks later and have to have a D&C for retained tissue. My clinic has advised to wait 3 months after this before doing another FET. You aren’t alone, but it’s a really shit place to be. Hope you feel more like yourself soon xx
thank you Rainbow I’m so sorry you have been through this too. It is such a shit place to be.
I was the same as you with my first mmc tested positive for 16 weeks because of retained tissue. Has made me want to have the D and C this time as medical management at home was difficult and not complete. I’ve stopped my progesterone now so will see what happens next.
Could you share why they felt this was progesterone related? I’m not sure this was my issue but could be. I felt I was on so much progesterone with 3 a day cyclogest? And Lubion in first 3 weeks.
progesterone related in that the babies passed away but I didn’t miscarry them, I think the progesterone was almost masking the miscarriage. So I don’t think it was related to them not making it, just the fact I didn’t have any bleeding whilst on the meds, hope that makes sense! I was on 3 cyclogest and 1 lubion a day for 12 weeks, so no lack of progesterone! Xx
Hi! I'm very sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience back in 2019. When I went for the 12 weeks scan and they said that they couldn't find a heartbeat. I was devastated, in fact I had to go to therapy as I wasn't coping very well. In the EPU I decided to go through medical management but this is a very personal decision and every one is different.
But I want to give you hope as years after several rounds of IVF I got pregnant again and this time everything was fine. My rainbow son is 4 months.
Please, give yourself sometime to process all this and think that one day you will be strong enough to start again.
Hi Shelley! I am so sorry to hear everything you have gone through. It is truly heart breaking. In 2020 I got pregnant naturally and suffered my first miscarriage. I was 14 weeks. It was completely devastating. I went to the doctor for a routine visit and there was no heart beat. I was not able to get any answers. I got a d& c. It was a 2 day procedure since I was so far along. In 2021 I got pregnant again naturally and experienced another miscarriage at 7 weeks, no heartbeat. Still was unable to get answers. However this time they did a full work up on me and discovered a fibroid on my uterine lining and scar tissue. Both were removed successfully with a non invasive surgery. This time at 40 I opted for ivf using my own eggs and got pregnant the first round. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant but I can’t tell you how nervous I am everyday. I would say give yourself time to heal but try not to give up. I am very hopeful you will have your rainbow baby.
Thank you. I’m so sorry you had to go through your baby losses and not have answers for this. So lovely to hear you are now 16 weeks and I completely get your anxiety and hope that eases as the pregnancy continues.
I think I do still want to keep going but need some space first and just focus on me feeling well and healthy. I’m 40 next year.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
*Possibly sensitive* questions about early pregnancy
Sensitive post!!! - early scan 
**** Sensitive Post **** 
