I was told my AMH levels are very low and I'm only 33. They are 4.1pmol
We'd been trying to conceive for 2 years and after getting no where on the NHS we had private tests.
We can't have treatment on the NHS as my partner has a 11 year old son.
The diagnosis was the worst news I've ever had as I've always seen kids in my future...my own little ones though not adopted,fostered, egg donors.. I want mine.
Now it's like I have a ticking clock in my head and the stress is driving me and my partner to fall out too much.
can anyone give suggestions how I can deal with all my emotions better.
I don't want to loose him. It's not just that I want a child,I want it with my partner.
We have delayed IVF whilst we get back on track, which is not easy as times not on our side but we have no other choice
I am reaching out for counselling as well but anything anyone can suggest would be welcome.
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FRLAB33
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I had similar results as you, I was 34 when I got an AMH of 3.5 and I felt so saddened and overwhelmed, I just didn't know what to do. So I can fully appreciate your worries and where they stem from.
And it takes its toll. On our mental health and on our relationships. Like you, I have found it very hard to cope at times and it is all-encompassing.
Things I have done include -
- counselling (which you are already looking at)
- exercising - even if just a walk - getting fresh air
- going away - little breaks away for weekends or even the whole week
- find a friend or two that you trust and can talk to. I know it's hard especially if they have children. All of my friends have kids and I have found it a struggle however if there is anyone outside of the relationship that you can confide in freely this can be helpful
- keep doing things you enjoy- your hobbies
- talk to others having fertility issues. I find this forum extremely useful as people truly understand. If you have an Instagram account there may be some useful people to follow.
- journaling (I havent done much of this but some people rate it)
- remember that plenty of people have success with low AMH. It is likely to take longer but it does not mean its the end. You are young and are very likely to have some good quality eggs.
I hope you find some peace in what has happened, you can feel free to private message me if you want to have a chat x
Thank you. I do try to walk and I'm extremely lucky to have an amazing network of family and friends. Some who have been through or Currently going through fertility problems. They're great to talk to, it's just learning how to manage my emotions that I'm struggling with and then my partner gets the brunt of it all and I know he doesn't deserve that.
I am hoping the councillimg will help me learn coping techniques.
I do walk regularly as I have a 9 month dog who's been a life saver. I just find I'm barely able to think even when I am trying to. I'm currently sat on a Moore as I type and have been talking to myself the whole time ha.
I feel like I'm the only one some days even though I know I am not. Most of my friends have their children and they're having more and I just want one. I'd love more but right now just one would be everything I would need.
It's so tough and I am learning I cannot cope alone. I need help to deal with it all.
I can relate to this a lot. I was 27 (now 28) when I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure with AMH level 5.
Myself and partner qualified for nhs funding for 2 rounds of ivf, i am currently in my two week wait from my first round (and hopefully last!)
I can sympathise with the feeling of wanting a child of your own, biologically yours. Funny enough my partner was more concerned about this than me. He said that if the child wouldn’t be biologically mine and his, he didnt want to go ahead.
I would suggest what your already doing (taking time out and focusing on your relationship) is the best thing. I would also suggest to get some fertility advise when you both feel ready.
Fertility/infertility definitely takes its toll on relationships, something I never thought would happen to me and my partner but it did, we are fine but lots of ups and downs.
Feel free to drop me a message if you want to talk further lovely
I really wish you the best of luck with this round of IVF. The two week waits terrible. We had recently been to prague for our first round of IVF that failed and its planning the second round that's all got too much.
I feel like I need time to get my head around it failing but then they say times not on our side. I'm sure like me you'd like to know how long you have but they just cannot say which is the hardest thing.
I know we need to get our relationship back on track as without us there will be no baby so I just need to allow that and try not to worry. Life's so cruel isn't it.
I will keep you in my thoughts 🤞🤞
Thank you for the lovely message and I'm also here to chat anytime. Xx
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, I can massively relate to your situation. I got married at 30 and started trying for a baby straight away. 3 years later and nothing had happened, we went to the doctors and I was rather rudely told I couldn’t get any help because my husband had an 11 year old son.
We went privately, and I know I’m lucky to be a position to be able to do that, and had our in initial tests done to be told I had a low AMH and I was heartbroken. However the doctor told me the biggest factor was my age and that was on my side at that point. Infertility and IVF are hard and will test even the strongest relationships but the way you’ve talked about your partner, you obviously love him very much and with a bit of time and and lot of communication, I really hope you’re able to begin your IVF journey together. Me and my husband have had some huge highs and lows, my best advice is to talk to each other. Be honest and open about how you’re feeling, no matter how hard it is.
It took us more than one attempt to get our take home baby but I’m now blessed with two beautiful miracles, something I remember thinking would never be possible when I was where you are. Don’t give up just yet ♥️ Xx
I'm so glad you got your miracles and I hope one day I'll be giving this same advice to someone else. Its ridiculously tough going through all of this and I want a little human, part me and part my partner. I cannot even imagine if it wasn't his /mine. I know one day that may come but we haven't given up just yet. It's just the not knowing how long until my Ovarian reserve will be gone and that's what is causing me the most stress.
We have had some real heart to hearts recently and thankfully do recognise where we have been going wrong so it can only get better from here...I hope.
Your right that communit is key and I think we have tried to deal with it on our own in our own ways for too long and that's not working for us, clearly.
Thank you for your lovely message. It really helps to know I'm not alone xx
I totally get that. As much as I wanted to be a mum, I wanted it to be a part of myself and my husband so much. I think being a stepmum played towards my feelings for something that was mine. I adore my stepson but I know and respect he has a mum of his own already and I’m lucky to be a piece of the puzzle.
I hope it brings you some comfort to know that my AMH didn’t drop any further from when I had my first test (age 32 before starting IVF) to my next one when we moved to a different clinic (age 34 after three rounds of egg collections). Try not to worry it’s on a rapid decline, it’s very unlikely that’s the case at your age xx
Same my partners son is amazing and I couldn't love him more but he's got his mum and I won't ever be her. I think this makes it harder for my partner to understand exactly how I feel as he is already a parent and therefore doesn't have that burning desire I do.
I know he understands more now I've explained this to him but it's so hard.
Thank you...that really does help. I keep panicking delaying a few months could mean less chances...I think if I do another AMH in march so 1 year since the first it will give me an idea of the scale of decline. I'm sure that could help as long as its not a speedy decline.
I am hoping some councilling for us both together and then separately as well will get us where we need to be again.
This journey is so tough and so cruel to so many xx
The only advice I can think of is doing IVF in another country (where it's cheaper) since you can't use NHS. Low AMH is not a deal breaker but it does mean you probably won't get many eggs each round and may need multiple rounds. The good news is that you are only 33 and your eggs should be in good shape, so you may even get lucky on your first try. My AMH was non existent and I was 42 when I got pregnant with my second, so don't despair. Good luck!
Thank you. We did go to prague in May and had IVF. Unfortunately it failed and we only had one embryo so we only got one shot at it. We cannot go again as we don't have annual leave and we can't leave the dog again/my partners son. So we are stuck with UK treatment now. We have already been in contact and started proceeding with Leeds but obviously have now delayed it as we have been struggling so much and falling out too much.
I'm so glad you got your baby. I hope one day I will also x
I can’t offer much advice in terms of how to deal with it better, other than to firstly turn to this forum for support (you realise just how many people are in the same boat!) and secondly to take control of matters that will improve your egg quality/chances (diet, cosmetics, supplements etc) - a good focus.I had an AMH of 2.2 at 28, and 1 only 6 weeks later - assuming different lab conditions - but all pretty horrendous news to receive. I was a complete zombie after receiving those results up until around our 12 week scan (very fortunate natural conception).
I know it’s not for everyone, or that it might not be recommended, but I definitely found the benefit in taking a step back from friends with young kids (they all understood), and avoiding places that I knew would be busy with kids. I knew kids and seeing bumps triggered me.
I didn’t ever so much as fall out with my partner, but he never totally got it (who does unless it’s happening to you?!) and this massively frustrated me. I remember going for a walk one day and he said he feels that we should just Jack it all in and not have kids as it’s not worth the stress of ivf. And the day after I got the first crap diagnosis (and was off sick from work due to the stress and upset), he felt the need to arrange for the carpenter to come round whilst he was out at work and I was crying on the sofa. I just think some men (and women) are a bit pants at support, or are even just trying to block the emotions out themselves.
I wish you all the luck and success, and really hope you and your partner can come together for treatment 💕🤞🏻 Xx
Thank you. My mum has been saying similar to me about blokes and their minds...not all but clearly mine... they just don't think sometimes. I know I've let it all get to me, probably too much and take my frustration out on him, which is not fair.
I get triggered by kids, pregnancy announcements , my best friends baby shower is on Sunday and I just cannot go. Its breaking my heart but I just can't do it.
I need to take myself away from these situations as the anxiety leading up to them causes me so many more emotions. Jealousy is not a Nice emotion at all.
I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It helps to know I'm not alone now and there's success stories so I just need to focus on that and not give up xx
Focusing on success is good, but you are soooo entitled to feel crap sometimes or even a lotof the time… because it is crap!
I see you are reaching out for counselling - if you can, try and get a fertility specialising one (although I know they are more pricey). I saw a non-specialist and they were pants,
and I left feeling more frustrated and robbed of money!
Thank you. I have spoken woth a lady at fertility network UK. She's given me contact information for a fertility cojncilling charity. She said you still pay something but its not too bad so fingers crossed that helps.
I appreciate your kind messages.
I do feel like I'm sometimes not given time, space to feel crap. Life's so busy, always work, jobs to be done, places to be, and sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and need some peace.
I think this then comes out in anger towards my partner.
We've had some big chaos this week/weekend and know where we have been going wrong so surely it can only get better now and we must focus on the fact there is a chance we will ge there...its just not going to be easy xxx
So a friend of mine had low AMH at your age and was also not eligible for ivf on the nhs. She didn’t expect to but conceived naturally. So don’t stop trying whilst you’re considering your options. I found yoga a source of good relaxation when I was feeling particularly stressed over ivf.
Thank you. I think if I can get my mind to slow down and relax we do have the chance to conceive naturally. My tubes could be blocked and we don't know as we haven't had that tested with going for IVF but I may plan it whilst we take a break as that could help also. My mum mentioned yoga.. I may take a look. Thank you xx
Please keep positive. My AMH wss 2 when I tested last june I was 29 now 30! We started our first cycle in October. I got 4 eggs, 2 fertilised and we have 2 transferred on day 3. Those 2 little embryos are now cwtched up on my bed and are 8 weeks old 😍 we were told it was a 15-20% chance it would ever work for us and it worked first time. Bit shocked when they told us we were having twins lol. Just because you have a low egg count does not mean the eggs you do have are not of a high quality due to your age.
I purchased the book it starts with the egg and both me and my partner started all the supplements to boost egg and sperm quality and took those for the full 4 months prior to our cycle I ewally believe this did it for us.
We went private as didnt want to delay anything however I spoke to my doctor prior and we would have been eligible for NHS and I have an older son however my partner has no children and so we were eligible due to him. May be different rules for different areas though I am not sure.
Thank you. I'm sk glad you got your happy ending and hope we will. I definitely need to relax. The last few months have been horrendously stressful with a failed round of IVF in May and this time pressure on us.
I have not given up yet though and will keep working on me /us for a while until we are strong enough to go again.
I take various supplements and have been told by the consultant to continue those. I've been taking them since ee started trying to conceive so they should be working well...fingers crossed.
I think its just me that needs to relax and take each step as it comes x
Hello lovely, I am sorry you ate going through this. I had amh 1.9 at the age of 37 when we started ttc, so I can relate. Lower amh should not keep you from getting pregnant. I did hycosy before I ever started ivf after a year of unsuccessful ttc and it worked for us. I got pregnant twice naturally after that procedure. Just wanted to share in case it is something you have not done and would be easier for you to try.
I was going to book this and was told not too as we didn't need to but I am thinking I mah try it. If we are going to break for a few months anyway then maybe that is the best idea.thank you. I'm glad it worked xxx
Definitely try it then. It is just looking at whether your tubes are clear and it gives everything a wash. Make sure to make love after the procedure until ovulation day. It is not exactly known why but quite a few peoole get pregnant that same month. Lots of people have low amh and eventually end up having babies especially when they are younger like you. xxx
Firstly, I’d like to say that everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, you’re grieving the loss of this idea you have had on your head all your life about what having s as family means and looks like. And secondly, you’re AMH is low but not too low to conceive with IVF and your ORs.
My AMH was less than 0.7 and I still tried (however unsuccessfully) with my OEs. I still ovulate occasionally and quality over quality is important. It really does only take one lucky one.
I will say this, I did go down the DE route and I couldn’t be happier. I have two beautiful and perfect twin girls and they are definitely mine. But it took two years of trying with my OE before and a lot of grieving and accepting (basically just being more and more desperate to just get pregnant) before I was ready to explore that route more openly. And even when I did I was devastated. I couldn’t have been more angry and jealous that my husband would get to have this genetic connection with our children that I wouldn’t have, that they wouldn’t look like me or share my heritage. And most of all the my children might reject me or that other people would see my lack of genetic connection a way to invalidate my parenthood. Honestly, once I found my donor, I was instantly soothed from those thoughts. I was comfortable with this gift I was being given and who was giving it to me. Sure I still have worries occasionally but they are more fleeting. And my girls are just the best, most perfect babies ever!
I know that right now, that’s not how you feel and May never feel positively about the prospect of egg donation for you and that’s fine!
I just want you to know that how you feel now is perfectly fine and you’re allowed to be sad, angry and feel grief. I’m sure you partner is feeling those things too. He wants to have a baby that’s genetically yours too!! He chose you too. And its hard! Maybe write down how you feel and that well hell you too express yourself better to your partner? Find a counsellor to speak to? And most of all be kind to yourself.
I do hope you are able to find the right path forward for you and know that you still have a chance with your OEs!!
Thank you so much. Your message has brought me to tears
I know o need to be kind to myself. I blame myself as its me with the problem but then I resent my partner for not understanding those feelings. He doesn't deserve that as he is just as much on this as I am.
I will take your advice on board and aim to be kinder to both of us. Communication is key and we need to work on that as we need each other to be strong. This journey is so hard and so testing to the best of us.
Oh sweetheart, of course he doesn’t understand, how could he? It’s nit happening to him in the same way… I felt all of those things and sometimes I still do - my girls made a ridiculously early appearance at only 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant and I constantly blame myself for that and my body for is failures. In often think my husband would have been better off with someone who could have given him a family in the normal way! But honestly, it is nothing you or I have done. We didn’t plan it or want it. It has happened to us and it can be so isolating when it does. What I have found the most useful is finding groups and forums like this or on Facebook to share my experience and listen to the experiences of others. It’s where I have felt the most understood and the most supported. It’s those kinds groups that have gotten me through my DE journey, my precarious pregnancy and now my stupidly long NICU stay (day 89 and both girls still going strong 💪). You’re not alone and your journey to being a mummy isn’t over, it just might be different to how you pictured it and eventually, you’ll be ok with that.
But for now, just practicing everything you’ve just said in your message - kindness to yourself and your partner, better communication and giving yourselves a break - is all you can do. And if sometimes you fail to be as kind to your partner as you think you should be, take a breath, apologise, and then be kind to yourself, give yourself a break. You’re going through a lot!
It is such a hard journey but I promise you, you’re not alone and you are so much stronger than you think. Your tears are proof of it!! There is strength in being able to feel and cope with all the feelings you are having!
You make so much sense. I think I have forgotten to breathe at times and then the smallest of things boil up and over and cause so many strains in our relationship. I know we don't have it as rough as many and it's still early in our journey so we need to pull together now or we'll fall apart soon.
It sounds like you have had some serious tests thrown at you and some really worrying times with your little girls arriving so early. Hearing these stories and receiving so many amazing messages this last 2 days had honestly made such a difference. I feel like there is more hope than I had been thinking and that of we can just be strong we will get there.
I'm so glad your girls are doing so well. After such a journey to get them I'm sure they will be brought up to know and feel love every day.
Men just don't quite get us women and I need to realise I'm asking too much from him. He does appreciate he also needs to try and understand better about the strains it's having on me.
I don't seem to do much without tears these days and these lovely messages are moving me so much. Perfect strangers being so giving and honest to help me. I am so grateful 🙏 🥲
Thank you and please squeeze those beautiful girls from all of us women in these situations. One day I will do the same with my babies xx
Not a day goes by without tears atm but like you say better out than in.
Enjoy your hugs. I'm hoping 2023 will be my year but if not at least I should be feeling stronger myself and in my relationship to face whatever comes. ❤️❤️ xx
I hope 2023 is your year too!! And I hope you can find some joy in 2022 - finishing in other aspects of your life and your relationship until you are ready to take the next step in your fertility journey.
Just wanted to pop in to say that it’s ok for you to feel angry and upset - this infertility lark is a form of grief and what comes with that is a hell of a lot of feelingS.
I too have low amh. My husband has male infertility issues so we have the double whammy. Neither of us knew this when we got pregnant naturally but unfortunately that pregnancy turned out to be ectopic.
So I guess I’m trying to say that there’s hope, even when it doesn’t feel it. There’s even hope in knowing that whatever the outcome is, you’ll find a way through it, even if it’s not how you imagined.
Good luck and focus on you and your partner for now. ❤️
Thank you. Sorry to hear you also have troubles. I really have found the messages here are helping me to know I'm not alone and it's OK to struggle at times. I just need to learn ways to cope with all these emotions. There are many.
I have just spoken to my best friends who's baby shower i organised but I have told her I just cannot go at the weekend. She's so understanding. That was a massive anxiety of mine recently, it's meant to be a celebration and I didn't want to be there and get upset. It's not about me.
Thankfully I feel lighter now and can seriously just focus on me and my partner.
Thank you for sharing your story and sorry to hear you've also had heartbreak and tough time. Sending hugs to you xx
Hi FRLAB33, I know your post is a few days old but I just wanted to reach out and say how sorry I am that you're going through this.
My AMH was 0.4 at 33 (I'm now 34) so I've been through a similar process, in some senses (I'm receiving treatment in Leeds too). It takes time to get your head around the diagnosis - I've definitely been going through the stages of grief since getting my test results in April. Some days I feel I'm starting to accept the situation, but then some days I'm back to feeling so angry and sad at the unfairness of it all.
Remember that even with low AMH, age is on your side so taking some time to get back on track before starting IVF is definitely the right thing to do.
Infertility has definitely caused strain on my relationship with my partner at times, especially as we lost 2 naturally-conceived pregnancies when we started TTC 2 years ago which sent me into depression for a long time, but we have made it through and it has actually brought us closer together in the long run - I hope that the same will happen for you xx
Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you the very best of luck with your journey. It sounds like you've had it tough but it's good to hear you're both out the other side of your worst times. I just hope we can learn to manage all of this emotion and get stronger together. Some days I feel like my partners ready to give up in it all and i just cannot.do that. If we felt we had 6 months to take a break from it all we would but no one can say what 6 month means in regards to my AMH. It may not change...it may get worse fast. Who knows.
I appreciate your kind words.
This sites been great to hear from people in similar situations. It helps you realise...you're not alone !! Xxx
I have been through similar in the last year and really do know how you feel. it is horrendous and so scary - but also, i don’t think the test is that understood. i had a score of 2.9 in april. and then had it retested last month and it went up to 5.3. which is quite a big difference. i had an AFC of 20 the month after the crazy low one, and and AFC of 10 when it was 5.3! basically it does move around and so it isn’t as accurate and as definite as you’re first led to believe.
basically it is a scoop. Every month our body selects a scoop of follicles from its reserves. so if the month it selects fewer then the score will be lower and if one month it selects more it will
be higher!
i have researched this no end. and panicked and rushed into ivf myself after the initial score.
we have a 3 yr old but after 6 months of trying for a sibling (at 35) i went for checks and this one came back!
however like other people have said, your age is very good. and this test is a number of eggs test. not a quality of test egg. therefore, after two years of trying to conceive it maybe another reason why you’re not conceiving. not your number of eggs. as long as you release one egg a month (like all the other people your age) you should have your age related chance. AMH alone is not a fertility marker. Has your other half been checked etc?
i’ve had panic attacks, lost sleep, felt so guilty that my little boy may have no siblings, and rushed into paying money for ivf after nkt even a year of trying because of the fear of my results. but after a few months of processing, and reading more and more research (and getting conflicting results) i really am beginning to question the reliability of this one test! If you only need one egg a month, why does it matter if it comes from 4 follicles or 20? a healthy egg is a healthy egg. this is what i am telling myself this week anyway!?
You do make sense and of course we have also done loads of research I'm raking Impryl which Is meant to help with AMH levels and trying to be as healthy as possible, without sucking all of the enjoyment from life.
We have been told it can alter from month to month but that's the first time I've been told how much it can alter. The consultant who gave us the results was very sure it was not good news so I guess, like you said you did, you go into panic mode.
I certainly have done and it's taken over me. Worry, panic, stress...to the point where my relationship is failing and all I can see, hear, speak is becoming a mum.
We do need to take a step back and focus on us...as hard as that is as all I keep thinking is my chances are deleting month to month but I know that's just my worry talking to me.
The consultant has said my age means I should have good eggs and out first IVF cycle proved that...just a shame that little embryo didn't stick with us 😪
I appreciate your lovely message of support. Times are so tough FOR SO MANY and knowing you're not alone and can reach out for support means so much xxx
My daughter was told she had low AMH at just 26. She wanted to conceive naturally and was told it was still possible. It took her two years but she now has a one year old and is five months pregnant with her second. It CAN happen. Wishing you all the best, dont lose hope
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To everyone with a low AMH
low AMH = low quality?
First round - low amh 
