Post failed transfer consultation questions going into FET

[PrincessGurn1984]

Firstly, thanks to those of you that sent me comments and words of wisdom after our first failed fresh transfer a couple of weeks ago. It was a great support 🥰 I really needed a week or so to check out and deal with my feelings and not think about all of this for a little bit. It’s done me the world of good and I’m now feeling positive going into our next stage. We have our consultation tomorrow afternoon to debrief on our failed first fresh transfer and also to discuss next steps for our first frozen transfer in min Jan, what questions should I be asking tomorrow? Why would anything be different this frozen transfer to the fresh one we did that’s what’s on my mind. Also should I be doing anything for myself before the frozen transfer to prep my body? Thank you! X

[RubyVet]

Sorry to hear about your failed fresh. I find a FET much easier on my body and less intense. We also learnt from my fresh that I needed extra progesterone as I bled from 2dp5dt and didn’t even make it to test day before having a really heavy bleed.

Thinking about what we asked (it was over a year ago) i am sure it was just about progesterone levels testing on transfer day mostly. We talked about further testing such as the ERA which we decided against. But having said that I have now completed that test and it shows exactly how much progesterone I need and for an extra day before transfer so I definitely think it’s worth it and wish I had done it before.

With regards to prep just eat a balanced diet and give yourself a break! It’s Christmas and it’s all too flipping hard as it is without adding extra stress on yourself. I’m planning on doing a FET in January myself. So I’m just trying to be sensible by eating my 5aday and going walking. But that’s it!

Best of luck to you xxxx

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to RubyVet]

Thanks for your advice, I felt like I was getting period symptoms from about 6dp5dt, then I started my bleed literally the afternoon of my official test day (11dp) so it proved that it was brewing all that time. I was taking Cycolget Perssaries twice a day (morning, evening) and Lubion injection once a day, so you would think that would be enough? But maybe not. What’s an ERA? X

[MrsOrangejuice]

Sorry your fresh transfer didn't work. If it helps, I thought for some reason that fresh was better than frozen - seems it's probably the other way around but I did two back to back collections and transfers. Both worked in a way as got BFPs but neither lasted beyond 6 weeks. Was worried about what this meant but doctors thought it was all very positive and just a numbers game. Wasn't convinced and researched progesterone more which seems to be my issue (resistance and oestrogen dominance). Went on ultrogestan vaginal pessaries (previously cyclogest rectally but apparently some women don't absorb them as well) and lubion, plus aspirin and folate. The FET was so much gentler than stims and felt somehow more natural - I felt terrible on progynova (quite common apparently) but apart from that and bloating, it was much easier and quicker than collection and fresh. I didn't change anything really diet or exercise wise as I was already having more good fats from my collection, but that was it - seems to be mainly about the meds (or your hormones if natural FET). The FET worked immediately for us (BFP on 3dpt) and has been much stronger than the previous two from the start. It may have been the change on progesterone, or just that the body hasn't just been through so much, or just chance. So I would be feeling positive towards the FET, maybe ask about progesterone vaginal pessaries and if your clinic can test you on day of transfer and after, but as for prep and diet - just aim for a good balance overall (definitely includes chocolate) and relax!

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to MrsOrangejuice]

Thank you that’s really good advice, I think my worry is that I won’t even ever have an embryo implant, I really did feel like my period was coming about 6dp, so I don’t think it ever settled in that embryo x

[Lolalules]

Hiya, I don’t have advice to give but just wanted to say we’re in exactly the same boat. First fresh round and transfer was this month and failed. I also started to feel AF symptoms from 6dp5dt and the bleed started on OTD (with spotting before). I have my review next week and prepping for that as well - hoping for a FET in Jan (but with average grade blasto so slightly anxious). Here’s some of the qus I’ve prepped: Fresh vs. Frozen success rate at clinic / level of progesterone / is it worth doing another round of fresh to get more blastos frozen while younger (if FET tend to be more successful). If you ever want to chat pls feel free to DM, nice to know there’s someone else on the same (difficult) journey xx

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Lolalules]

It’s nice to know we aren’t alone with this, thank you. I did think the same thing about your point on doing another collection right away, I am worried about my age and egg quality, I’m 37, 38 in July but we only have 2 frozen embryos so I think 2/3 months of back to back transfers by the time we do another collection if these frozen ones don’t work will only be March/April so really would a couple months make a difference, probably not but who knows. I will ask though that’s good advice thanks. We have a 6 year old son naturally but are having issues on my husbands motility/quality now (older now I guess!) I am going to stick with back to back transfers for as long as it feel able to as conscious of my egg quality declining, currently ok at 12.8 which is good for my age they think. Just the million dollar question of why don’t embryos implant but it’s just luck I think partly. Sorry to hear your fresh didn’t stick either, it’s gutting isn’t it. I’ll let you know how our call goes this afternoon in case there are any questions that crop up you may want to also ask x

[Lolalules in reply to PrincessGurn1984]

Yeah in a way it’s likely good to give your body a break from the stims meds as well. Our frozen embaby didn’t quite meet the freeze criteria (but they froze it anyways), so I’m tempted to try that and then if it doesn’t work do one more stims round but freeze all that i get for back to backs the rest of the year. So crazy to have to plan these things though! Yeah the implantation qu is the big one for me, we had two early miscarriages from natural conception, so I’m worried there could be something else going on. Thanks for sharing the feedback, and good luck hope the call goes well! X

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Lolalules]

I’ve seen so many people say their AA blasts didn’t stick but then their CC did and led to a live birth, so I’m not entirely sure grading even has much to do with it anyway, there are so many unknowns still with IVF I think and it’s just luck sometimes. I felt very pessimistic after our failed fresh, but now I’m determined and feel in a ‘ we won’t let this beat us’ type mood! I do think peoples reasons for doing frozen has definite positives. I found the recovery after egg collection quite painful and sore so to then do a fresh maybe wasn’t ideal so soon x

[Rain415]

Hi, my fresh failed, I started my period 4 days before OTD. My first FET I had a bfp but unfortunately a chemical pregnancy. 2nd FET I'm currently 28 weeks. As others have said the FET is easier on the body. Wishing you all the luck for your next transfer x

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Rain415]

Congratulations! This gives me hope 🥰 what did you find they changed between doing your fresh and then your first FET? My main worry is that I feel like my fresh didn’t even implant or try to at all as my bleed was brewing 6dp x

[Rain415 in reply to PrincessGurn1984]

Same here with my fresh I started spotting 7dp5dt then turned into a period. I felt like it didn't really have a chance . I had a medicated FET and I took 4 progesterone pesseries a day instead of 3 I think that is standard for a frozen. I asked at the consultation about progesterone increase to help but he just said it wouldn't do anything and it's because it didn't implant. But some women on here have had better luck with their consultant increasing and changing things. Mine felt bit like a numbers game. But he said that the stats for FET being successful were the same if not slightly higher than a fresh. Our FET that worked was also deemed lower quality than the bfn and chemical pregnancy. X

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Rain415]

This is why I am trying to not worry about grads because your experience is proof it makes no difference if an embryo sticks or not from the sounds of it. I’ll be interested to see if he suggests anything different in terms of medication for my FET x