I went for my second scan today which has confirmed I have had an early miscarriage. I surprisingly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now I know the outcome if I'm honest. Obviously I wouldn't have ever wanted this outcome but I just feel a little bit more back in control again now. I've opted for surgical removal next week and spoken with clinic already to book a follow up appointment to see what went wrong etc. They've also informed me you have to wait 2 bleeds after a miscarriage so this gives me plenty time to not think of IVF on a daily basis.
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Emmanev1
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So sorry to read this. I know what you mean about a weight being lifted. At least you are back in control and have a plan. That doesnt lessen the upset and sadness but thats always helped me get through my MC's - focusing on the next steps and thinking positive. Sending you hugs and hoping you get some answers and next time is the lucky one xx
Thank you for your words of support. So much control is taken away from us on this process and that itself is draining. I think I'm going to just focus on me for a couple of months and live. Sorry about your Mcs too and I hope you get there too as I know how exciting it is to get the BFP then to be knocked back down when this happens xx
Heya, just wanted to send a virtual hug and say that I think I really understand how you're feeling in terms of the weight off / relief from being out of limbo - I'm 6wks0 days and over the past 2 wks have had low starting hcg, bleeding/cramping, progesterone that fell off a cliff, and an 'irregular' gestational sac on early ultrasound, and I really don't like the uncertainty (coupled with high likelihood of miscarriage) AT ALL. At this point, I feel like an early miscarriage ASAP would be the next best thing to a live birth as I'm concerned about this dragging on..
I also wanted to say that I've read studies showing increased fertility in the 3 months following miscarriage (a rly good silver lining), so I wonder what your clinic's logic is in waiting for 2 bleeds rather than one?
Hey I'm so sorry you are going through this. I found the unknown days we're way harder than now. We are stronger than we think we are. Sending you all the luck in the world 🌎. When are you next in for a scan?
What I've been saying to myself life continues it just has to. It may not help but it helps me.
Sending a hug back to you and if you need a chat about things don't hesitate at all.
I've also read this too i presume it may be to give your body a break I'm quite happy to have 2 months off this as consumed my life since June so I'm due a break xx
Hey Emmanev, also adding to the heap of hugs you’re getting. I had a miscarriage but found it out later and the fact that you’ve found the strength to take it in and still feel hopeful for the future is pretty inspiring. Really wishing you the best for your next cycle and we are all here whenever you’re ready .
Sorry to hear your sad news. Take time to be kind to yourself, lots of baths, massages, pampering and tlc. IVF and infertility is the hardest thing. Take care xx
I'm so sorry, even when you're expecting it, it's still awful news. Just wanted to share my experience, as I thought I was ok and at peace with it when scans confirmed our embryo had stopped developing - I was expecting it after patchy hcg levels and after it dragging on for a couple of weeks in case it was a late developer and getting a confirmation from another lab I just wanted it all over and, like you said, it was a relief in a way to have a firm answer, even if it was bad news.So I was really shocked at how much it affected me when the miscarriage actually started. I suppose hormones were all over the place too, but I was very fragile for a good while afterwards even though I knew logically that it wasn't a viable embie and would never have been our baby. I hope you stay feeling ok emotionally, but I wanted to give you a heads up that these feelings can take you by surprise and you need to be compassionate to yourself if they do. Sending big hugs xxx
Thank you for sharing your experience it must be really tough having to re tell it and im sorry you also suffered. This is why I have opted for the procedure this way it should be minimal trauma. Thank you 😊 xx
I am so sorry for your loss and know the pain myself. I can totally relate to the feeling of relief, I had a missed miscarriage and had to wait a further 3 weeks after finding out until I had medical management. I felt weirdly at peace and relieved once I had passed the baby. Sending you lots of strength and hugs xx
I'm so sorry to hear this. I felt similar once I knew what was going on and had my next steps planned - the waiting and uncertainty are very painful. We also have to wait for two bleeds post missed miscarriage and I think I'm grateful for that as I feel like it's allowing my body to heal post surgery and reset properly and (as you said) not to have to think about IVF 24/7 while all of that is happening. It's certainly a rollercoaster. Would highly recommend having some TLC, self-care and treats lined up for your break and the weeks ahead xx
It so weird as I'm like why am I not really upset it must be my way of coming to have something to focus on past this. I'm exactly the same I want to live again for abit as this has controlled so much over the last few months. Sorry you have had to have the same experience and I hope you treat yourself well too over the coming weeks. How long ago did this happen to you? Xx
Same here - I wasn't really upset once I knew the plan and even had a walk in the sunshine the day of my ERPC to check out Abbey Road (which was near the hospital) and really enjoyed that. I think it made sense to me to mark the day with nice and happy moments. My surgery was 20 August so it's still pretty new - I'm hoping I finally see a negative pregnancy test tomorrow as it's taking a while for my HCG to come down! So odd to be wishing for that... But please feel free to ask any questions if you have any (now or later).
The sadness just comes in weird waves now but I'm trying to roll with it, cry if I need to, and I think I'm doing okay. Having lots of nice things in the diary helps a huge amount It's honestly a breathe of fresh air to really live again for a bit - maybe I can keep this vibe going for the next cycle...! Sending lots of positive vibes your way xx
Hi I never had an heartbeat. So fingers crossed you have an heartbeat so that sounds positive. I'll keep everything crossed for you too. Try to remain calm and keep positive xxx
So sorry to hear this! I understand the positive of not thinning about IVF for a few weeks. I had to take some time off too, after two failed cycles. Reconnect with all the things that make you laugh and bring you joy.
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It's honestly a breathe of fresh air to really live again for a bit - maybe I can keep this vibe going for the next cycle...! Sending lots of positive vibes your way xx
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